Pro Choice and Pro Abortion!

Pro Choice and Pro Abortion!

When I was 16 and had just received my driver’s license, when a girlfriend came to me with a request for which I had no idea how to fulfill. She said she had gone to a party, gotten drunk, and woke up with blood on her in a sleazy hotel near to where the party had been held.

Obviously, she had had unprotected sex. In the 1970s, at the age of 18, she was scared of her parent’s fury. She thought she might get arrested for drinking under age and truly had no idea who had had sex with her. This last reason became the scariest part of this scenario. Her friends who hosted the party told Grace that she had passed out on a lounge chair on the patio. That was the last they had seen of her. They thought she had walked home.

In tears, she shared with me (her best gay friend) that she was pregnant and asked if I would help her?

At the time I was a Catholic and firmly believed in the church’s stance on abortion. Quite honestly I believed that I was probably going to go to hell for being gay, as well. This was my conundrum: How do I help Grace? She loved me unconditionally, knowing that I was gay and in a world that few understood. Could I be the same kind of friend she was for her without judgment?

Grace was very popular in school. She was on the prom court, a cheerleader, dated a football player, and was afraid to talk to anyone else but me. Her worst fears were that her parents (also Catholic), teachers, and friends would find out about her problem and she would be ridiculed in reclusivity. Ultimately, the rest of her life would be tainted by this one mistake.

More than anything, she felt she had some unknown person’s baby about to grow inside of her. She simply wanted to get rid of the evidence of that night in her mind and in her body. As much as I wanted to help her, my heart was sickened by both choices. I truly adored my friend and felt blessed that she turned to only me for trust and help, but clearly was too young to make a choice like this.

In the late 1970s, clinics existed in Pittsburgh (the closest large city to Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania) that could help Grace. They would even provide counseling, which I could be a part of.

With much resistance in my heart, praying fervently to God for guidance, I agreed to take her to the center where we would both discover all of her choices. I told my mother I was going to a tap class in Pittsburgh, picked up Grace in Mom’s Chevy Impala, and on we went to a very distressed community Clinic in the suburbs of North Pittsburgh around the football stadium.

The woman who took Grace’s case was a licensed social worker. She anxious to answer all of our questions before she shared the choices Grace had before her. Because Grace was so scared, she asked me to go first.

My biggest question was: Could I help someone who wants to get an abortion without really believing in it for myself?

It was then the social worker took me by the hand and said, “Honey, you are so brave to help Grace. You’re a wonderful friend. But, what YOU ARE and what kind of choices YOU MAKE, or even your strongest beliefs are NOT Grace’s choices. You are not GRACE.

Taking her to this session for counseling in hopes of her changing her mind would not be doing Grace any favors. What Grace needed was to know that her choice was her own—not mine, not her parent’s, not the government’s, certainly not any man’s, and not the doctor’s either. Granted this is probably the greatest choice she has probably ever had to make. This choice must be her own. The social worker shared that I should not in any way feel that Grace’s choice is my choice.

The therapist asked me if I could be this kind of friend.

I looked into Grace’s teary eyes and realized that my love for Grace was much bigger than my idea of sin and death. This moment in my young life was probably the first time I had taken my own stance about anything religious. I wasn’t sure if I would get struck down by lightning or get sent to hell. But I absolutely knew that my Love for Grace and God’s Love in me would move through me to be the best friend I could be.

I answered, yes, to the social worker.

I want you to know that it doesn’t matter in the end what choice Grace ultimately made. I learned on that special day that the difference between being Pro-Abortion and Pro-Choice was mine, not anyone else’s. It wasn’t Grace’s choice, it wasn’t my church’s choice, it wasn’t my parent’s choice. It was mine. In that moment, that social worker had empowered me in a way she will probably never know.

Pro Choice has little to do with being in favor of Abortion and has everything to do with allowing an adult woman to make her own choices about her body.

I hear many Republicans saying that they are Pro-Life and not Pro-Abortion, which makes them hold fast to their Republican nominee, no matter who it is. I have heard few Republicans say the words Pro Choice or even know if they understand the different.

Honestly, that’s why I’m writing this letter to you. Know the difference before you vote for a leader you don’t respect.

Bo Sebastian (names have been changed to protect the identity of my friend)

SHOULD I DIET NOW FOR THE HOLIDAYS #diet #weightloss #holidayovereating

As we age, weight becomes harder and harder to shed. It is not even autumn, and I am already feeling as if I had better lose a few more pounds so that I won’t find myself overweight after the holidays.

On average an American gains 7-10 pounds every holiday. If this is true, then we all should consider beginning our weight loss now or change our eating happens to adjust for the myriad of holiday treats.

Of course, the second option is the healthiest choice. Most of us feel as if we are ping-pong balls when it comes to weight—up and down, bouncing from one unhealthy place to another. Our health becomes the benefactor of unhealthy eating. So then, what do we need to change to finally end this struggle?

The only factor that shapes anything in your life is your mind. Your mind can change anything in your world if you use your creative power to express prosperity, happiness, peace, and ultimately a healthy body. How does this work?

Every thought you think impacts your body. The American Psychological Association has proven that stress will cause cardiovascular problems, for instance. We know, therefore, that the anxiety of the mind impacts the physical body. We can make a lot of sense out of the problems in our lives when we realize that we may be attracting the very problems we fear the most. Like attracts like. If you have unhealthy thinking, you will attract to your body and life unhealthy living.

Screen Shot 2016-06-04 at 12.44.02 PMIn this example let’s look at an unhealthy mind trying to lose weight. An unhealthy mind whispers to you: “I can never resist desserts and overeating during the holidays. I might as well just gain the weight and try to lose it at New Years.”

If your mind is thinking this negative thought, you can be assured that you will eat everything in sight. I have been a Clinical Hypnotherapist and Life Coach by trade for 25 years. I have successfully worked with clients who have been 20 to 250 pounds overweight. Trust me, these people do not lose weight by thinking that it is okay to binge—ever!

Losing weight starts with a healthy body image. What is your comfortable weight? Imagine it. See the new you in the mirror every time you look at yourself. Begin to monitor your eating habits and your aversion to exercise. All of these attributes can change with the right attitude.

For instance, I had a client who was a consistent 40 pounds overweight. She basically had been on one diet after another her entire life. She came to me in tears: “I am so tired of this roller coaster. I need to start a new plan and keep it. I try and try, but always seem to fail.”

My answer was: “No one ever achieves anything by trying. We achieve when we do what our highest consciousness leads us to do and not acquiesce to the noise in our mind that tells us otherwise.”

She begged, “Please help me do that.”

So, we started with a healthy plan for her mind, where all of your work should always begin. We began to imagine wanting and desiring healthy food instead of junk- and fast food. We looked at her physical capacity to exercise and discovered that she watched 2.5 hours of television a day because she had pain in her hips and knees. During a portion of her television time we planned to lightly bounce on a fitness ball and do core strength exercises to tighten her stomach muscles.

This entire envisioning process can happen with simple meditation (contemplating or dreaming of your new paradigm of living in quiet time every morning or evening). Or you can go to a hypnotherapist who can help change the neural pathways in your brain that cause your unhealthy triggers.

When my client completed her first three hypnosis sessions, she was ready to begin to start her new lifestyle diet. Interestingly, though, in three weeks she had already lost 5 lbs without even trying.

Your diet must consist of a plan. If you decide to diet and do not have the food you need in your home, you will always make the wrong choices. You must throw out the unhealthy food, first, and replace it with healthy fruit, vegetables and healthy snacks.

I am a snacker. I love to munch on something while I watch television. If you are as I am, you have to find healthy alternatives, otherwise you will stuff your face with junk food every night and complain about your stomach the next morning.

One great, healthy snack is fat-free popcorn lightly sprayed with Bragg’s liquid aminos and then dowsed the popcorn with a healthy amount of Nutritional Yeast (1 tablespoon). Your popcorn will taste like cheese corn and will have no fat. It will provide you with healthy amino acids instead of salt and the nutritional yeast gives you 7 grams of protein per tablespoon.

  • You must do this kind of planning for every meal. You have to decide if you are at work and at a boardroom meeting where food has been provided, what exactly you would eat.
  • You have to decide when to cook your dinner, because if you come home late and have nothing prepared in the refrigerator, you will choose something unhealthy again.

All of this must be worked out ahead of time. If you think you don’t have time to plan for your health, you will not be healthy. Life is this simple. If you think you will always be poor, you are surely going to have to struggle to meet every bill. If you believe you will always be chunky, you will certainly manifest obesity until you decide otherwise.

It’s September. Should you be thinking about dieting for the holiday?

The answer is simple: No!

Screen Shot 2016-05-11 at 10.04.32 AMYou should be thinking about changing your attitude about overeating during the holidays and everything else will work itself out according to your plan. You can have your 1/2 a piece of pumpkin pie and turkey, too.

You can book an appointment at 954-253-6493. I take both Skype appointments and private appointments in Fort Lauderdale at my new office in Oakland Park.