Month: October 2013

An Apocalyptic Vision—What About the Children?

Hopefully, as a whole society, we will see the importance of creating a positive and peaceful alliance with our children to keep our future secure. I believe if we don’t want to see an apocalypse in our obscure future, we need to fulfill our duty to upbraid the negativity of gangs and prejudice and bullying, and honor the positive ways each child creates to align with his or her spiritual destiny. We do this, of course, by being the most authentic person we can possibly be with them, never hiding our truths and honoring the fact that each, indeed, deserves our honesty and love.

A scripture from the bible in the book of Joel has been going through my mind. Joel 2:23-32 exclaims that “God will restore the years of the locust” or the destruction God had caused for the sake of the Jews emancipation from Egypt. I wonder if Spirit intends to fulfill this scripture by influencing the children of our future in new and wonderful ways.

When a scripture or a passage from a book or a song goes through my mind, I often believe it is another way that Spirit can open our hearts to a message the universe needs us to hear.

I went to my partner’s church today. (For the time being, we are still bouncing between two churches, trying to figure out how, or if, to merge our spiritual paths.)

I didn’t realize it was the Children’s Sabbath tonight. Actually, I have never even heard of this occasion, but I like it. Today at Glendale Baptist Church, the children gave most of the sermon, which was inspired. The crux of what was said was about our responsibilities as adults to share with the children our views, morals, love, disgusts, and thrills, so that each child can have the opportunity to see through the eyes of experience what to believe and have plenty of options for the future.

The young boy chosen to speak on behalf of the children’s ministry was so articulate when he spoke of ideas that we might not expect a child to notice. He asked if it was okay to cheat a little if no one was looking. He asked if it was okay to talk poorly of politicians when they don’t favor our point of view. He asked if we could explain how it was okay to entertain a detrimental habit and should he expect to do the same as an adult?

Every question made me squirm, as I know I have not been the model citizen for our children. Though I tend to want kids to like me, I don’t often scold or admonish them to act in any certain way. I try always to be compassionate and nonjudgmental, probably because I felt so judged as a young child growing up gay. Compassion is definitely a good thing for them to see, but I wonder how much acquiescing I have done to their detriment.

I pray that in fulfilling the prophecy of Joel that I become more open and responsible for what I portray as an adult in a world where the many choices before me can often become self-centered and judgmental. Should I breathe into my life with an omniscient perspective, I hope to realize that my life is, and has been, a bright light for those coming up behind me.

These lights will be those who will lead or destroy the future as know it. So, today, take into account: What about the Children?

______________________________________________

Go to Week 2 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge”

_______________________________________

Below is information that I will be sharing for about a month, as not every person on my list reads the blog every day. If you have already read it, just skip over it. Thanks for understanding.

A Year to CLEAR Challenge:
(Please Know: You Can Join Us At Any Point in the Year Challenge.)

The masses search outward for things that qualify them as a person, but I always go inward for that which quantifies me for greatness. At twenty-five I preached on street corners in NYC as an in-the-closet Pentecostal minister. One day I heard a still small voice say, ‘God cannot be contained in a book or a law or even in a religion. Dig deeper, reach further to find me, and you will find your authentic Self.’”

A Year to CLEAR Challenge!

The acronym CLEAR stands for (Compassionate, Loving, Enthusiastic, And Relationship-Ready). The goal of this project is to engulf readers in a weekly study that will transform them by removing blocks, promote self-growth, and give them wings to fly freely into daily life. Each week, by going to BoSebastian.com and choosing the Year to CLEAR Challenge tab, a new challenge or thought to provoke conversation, growth, and group functionality.

My vision is to make Finding Authentic You the book to have in your Kindle or on your computer. The book is a comprehensive look at growth—spiritually, mentally, and physically.

As a yoga teacher and student of the Ayurvedic tradition, I bring to the table understanding of physical challenges, the ability to overcome mental problems with Life & Health Coaching, as well as hypnotherapy, and expertise in meditation and spirituality as a minister.

The combination of all three in one book with an interactive connection to like-minded readers, for one year, is what makes this Year to CLEAR Challenge a must-do for every spiritual seeker.

The One-Year Approach to Change

No one believes he or she can change overnight. But success in change comes from the metaphors of nature. Seasonally, life changes all around us in nature. Finding Authentic You offers a gradual change perspective, looking at the triune aspects of change as in yoga: Body, Mind and Spirit.

Accessing the ability to change and finding yourself actually pursuing change must be a daily search, which I call getting to the “observer mind.”

In this frontal cortex of the brain we find the anatomy of change and the power to counter every negative trigger of the human process. The workings of Hypnosis, NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) are all positive actions to help the mind and body flow to a positive space for change.

Every aspect of FINDING AUTHENTIC YOU fulfills this constant need for diffusing the negative past and dreaming of a fulfilling future.

Step 1: Recognize That Change is Inevitable
Step 2: Release from Resistance to Change
Step 3: Understanding Change and Allow Spirit to Define It
Step 4: A History Lesson—About You
Step 5: Look at Your Past with Compassion
Step 6: Making a Strong Commitment to Change
Step 7: Dream Your Fabulous Future
Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One Challenge:
TOOLS FOR CHANGE:
Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

• Introduction to Meditation
• Smoke Cessation mp3
• Weight Loss mp3
• Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3
• Insomnia mp3
• Eternal Om mp3
• Meditation Music mp3
• Guide to Meditation mp3
• Healing the Body mp3
• And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.
Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

* * *

Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day. I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header.

Also, be looking for “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) in Early 2014. Thanks!

Please follow and like us:
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Monsters in My Bed

(This blog has some explicit thoughts and ideas. If you don’t want to go there with me today, just simply delete it or pass it by. But I felt like this needed to be addressed, especially when we think about the intricacy of the heart.)

Many people who have had sexual problems in the past end up with Monsters in their Beds. You may be lying next to someone you love, but next to that loving person may be the shadow of someone who hurt or abused you.

Many years ago a young man came to see me as a client. He appeared to be a football player, tough and intelligent. However, he had troubles in his marriage. He treated her sexually with an abusive nature that even he didn’t understand. They went to counseling and ended up on my couch.

Something in his neural pathways kept sending the message that “the only way he could achieve orgasm was to get angry with her and treat her with bondagelike actions. Initially, and why this worked so long, the wife had the same kind of fantasies. However, she had gone to therapy and corrected the problems in her past. Now, she wanted to be treated with love and compassion. But her husband couldn’t achieve orgasm when they played the part of the loving couple, which interestingly enough, mirrored their real relationship.

This habit disturbed both of them. The young woman realized this bondage fetish had come from abuse from her father when she was a child. He would hold her down and force her to have oral sex with him. As she got older, he began to enter her, also keeping her hand over her mouth the entire time. Her bondage fantasy helped her appease her sense of pain with her father, who had died before he could ever apologize or make peace.

Back to the husband. I did regression with him to see if he was hiding anything from his conscious mind or repressing it, simply because he was afraid to face it. What we understood quickly, when he got comfortable enough to talk was that his uncle forced him to have oral sex with him. When he got older, the uncle included him in his marriage sex and coerced this sixteen-year-old to have intercourse with his wife while he held her down. Because at sixteen, sex feels good no matter what the circumstance for a boy, my client liked it and began to enjoy his occasional sleepovers at his uncles. After that, he subconsciously looked for women who had bondage fantasies.

For the male, our issue was to reprogram the subconscious mind to NOT need the monsters of the past to get to climax with his wife.

The process was tedious and hard at times. But the couple pushed through because of their incredible love for one another. Complete transparency took place while they had sex. My male client committed to explaining what went on his mind to his wife, while they were having sex. We devised loving mantras for the wife and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) triggers to help the male client come back to the present and to the love.

He went without orgasm for about three weeks before he finally met his intimate partner with a loving climax together. They both said it was the best sex they had ever had. Ultimately, after many intimate times with transparency, the couple was able to have normal sex again. These times, with no monsters.

______________________________________________

Go to Week 2 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge”

_______________________________________

Below is information that I will be sharing for about a month, as not every person on my list reads the blog every day. If you have already read it, just skip over it. Thanks for understanding.

A Year to CLEAR Challenge:
(Please Know: You Can Join Us At Any Point in the Year Challenge.)

The masses search outward for things that qualify them as a person, but I always go inward for that which quantifies me for greatness. At twenty-five I preached on street corners in NYC as an in-the-closet Pentecostal minister. One day I heard a still small voice say, ‘God cannot be contained in a book or a law or even in a religion. Dig deeper, reach further to find me, and you will find your authentic Self.’”

A Year to CLEAR Challenge!

The acronym CLEAR stands for (Compassionate, Loving, Enthusiastic, And Relationship-Ready). The goal of this project is to engulf readers in a weekly study that will transform them by removing blocks, promote self-growth, and give them wings to fly freely into daily life. Each week, by going to BoSebastian.com and choosing the Year to CLEAR Challenge tab, a new challenge or thought to provoke conversation, growth, and group functionality.

My vision is to make Finding Authentic You the book to have in your Kindle or on your computer. The book is a comprehensive look at growth—spiritually, mentally, and physically.

As a yoga teacher and student of the Ayurvedic tradition, I bring to the table understanding of physical challenges, the ability to overcome mental problems with Life & Health Coaching, as well as hypnotherapy, and expertise in meditation and spirituality as a minister.

The combination of all three in one book with an interactive connection to like-minded readers, for one year, is what makes this Year to CLEAR Challenge a must-do for every spiritual seeker.

The One-Year Approach to Change

No one believes he or she can change overnight. But success in change comes from the metaphors of nature. Seasonally, life changes all around us in nature. Finding Authentic You offers a gradual change perspective, looking at the triune aspects of change as in yoga: Body, Mind and Spirit.

Accessing the ability to change and finding yourself actually pursuing change must be a daily search, which I call getting to the “observer mind.”

In this frontal cortex of the brain we find the anatomy of change and the power to counter every negative trigger of the human process. The workings of Hypnosis, NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) are all positive actions to help the mind and body flow to a positive space for change.

Every aspect of FINDING AUTHENTIC YOU fulfills this constant need for diffusing the negative past and dreaming of a fulfilling future.

Step 1: Recognize That Change is Inevitable
Step 2: Release from Resistance to Change
Step 3: Understanding Change and Allow Spirit to Define It
Step 4: A History Lesson—About You
Step 5: Look at Your Past with Compassion
Step 6: Making a Strong Commitment to Change
Step 7: Dream Your Fabulous Future
Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One Challenge:
TOOLS FOR CHANGE:
Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

• Introduction to Meditation
• Smoke Cessation mp3
• Weight Loss mp3
• Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3
• Insomnia mp3
• Eternal Om mp3
• Meditation Music mp3
• Guide to Meditation mp3
• Healing the Body mp3
• And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.
Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

* * *

Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day. I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header.

Also, be looking for “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) in Early 2014. Thanks!

Please follow and like us:
0

Casual Sex and Self-Esteem

(This blog has some explicit thoughts and ideas. If you don’t want to go there with me today, just simply delete it or pass it by. But I felt like this needed to be addressed, especially when we think about the intricacy of the heart.)

Being gay tends to lead people to think that most of your life is about casual sex and impromptu sexual encounters. Though “tricks” happen with both heterosexual and gay people, random sexual encounters are more about the individual person than the proclivity toward any sexual persuasion.

I have known some gay man who go years without a sexual experience. I have known some who like an encounter weekly or even daily. I have known heterosexual men, both married and single, who walk into a room and look for the first woman who would most likely go home with him or, more likely, meet him in a janitor’s closet. Trust me, this is not about gay or straight.

However, I would say it is more a male issue than a female issue. Women tend to be less promiscuous on a whole, simply because they are the one in the more vulnerable place—they must be entered for intercourse to happen. Heterosexual men and Gay tops are more likely to be a little less caring about their vulnerable hearts and more caring about sowing their wild seeds. This makes sense when you look at who is in control.

This leads me to my tender point about spirituality and the translucent places of the heart that carry sexuality into a union, no matter if it’s just a one-night stand or a long-term relationship. Even the Christian (Mark 10:8) and Jewish (Genesis 2:24) bibles say that we become as “one flesh” when we unite sexually and intimately. If this is true, then our hearts merge as well. If our hearts merge, then a myriad of sexual encounters would cause our hearts to splinter. Psychological problems happen as a result.

People who have been sexually abused as children often try to squelch the feelings of abuse by repeating the abusive sexual behavior over and over, trying to make sense of it or exacting the behavior to get it right. But this never happens, unless they are in the arms of a securely attached individual who cares deeply. Unfortunately, the glue that would make an abused person whole often eludes them, because they look for their abusers in their mates.

I have worked with over a thousand sexually abused people in my twenty-five years of life coaching and hypnotherapy. They often come to me to quit smoking or for weight loss, because habits form when a person displaces self-esteem for sexual desire. They don’t love themselves enough to stop any kind of problematic habit leading to cancer, weight gain, or death. This kind of problem saddens me the most with clients. Leading someone to self-esteem and strength is not easy when every tape in their head is set for self-destruction.

If you let your self-esteem be a result of people finding you sexually attractive, there will always be a chance of that person going away or breaking up with you. So, if the attachment is about attraction and self-esteem, you will lose your power when that person inevitably goes away. That’s why the important steps to healthy relationship have nothing to do with sexuality. They have more to do with transparency and a deep commitment to protecting your very vulnerable heart. Lastly, we must find securely attached individuals to find safety for our hearts.

______________________________________________

Go to Week 2 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge”

_______________________________________

Below is information that I will be sharing for about a month, as not every person on my list reads the blog every day. If you have already read it, just skip over it. Thanks for understanding.

A Year to CLEAR Challenge:
(Please Know: You Can Join Us At Any Point in the Year Challenge.)

The masses search outward for things that qualify them as a person, but I always go inward for that which quantifies me for greatness. At twenty-five I preached on street corners in NYC as an in-the-closet Pentecostal minister. One day I heard a still small voice say, ‘God cannot be contained in a book or a law or even in a religion. Dig deeper, reach further to find me, and you will find your authentic Self.’”

A Year to CLEAR Challenge!

The acronym CLEAR stands for (Compassionate, Loving, Enthusiastic, And Relationship-Ready). The goal of this project is to engulf readers in a weekly study that will transform them by removing blocks, promote self-growth, and give them wings to fly freely into daily life. Each week, by going to BoSebastian.com and choosing the Year to CLEAR Challenge tab, a new challenge or thought to provoke conversation, growth, and group functionality.

My vision is to make Finding Authentic You the book to have in your Kindle or on your computer. The book is a comprehensive look at growth—spiritually, mentally, and physically.

As a yoga teacher and student of the Ayurvedic tradition, I bring to the table understanding of physical challenges, the ability to overcome mental problems with Life & Health Coaching, as well as hypnotherapy, and expertise in meditation and spirituality as a minister.

The combination of all three in one book with an interactive connection to like-minded readers, for one year, is what makes this Year to CLEAR Challenge a must-do for every spiritual seeker.

The One-Year Approach to Change

No one believes he or she can change overnight. But success in change comes from the metaphors of nature. Seasonally, life changes all around us in nature. Finding Authentic You offers a gradual change perspective, looking at the triune aspects of change as in yoga: Body, Mind and Spirit.

Accessing the ability to change and finding yourself actually pursuing change must be a daily search, which I call getting to the “observer mind.”

In this frontal cortex of the brain we find the anatomy of change and the power to counter every negative trigger of the human process. The workings of Hypnosis, NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) are all positive actions to help the mind and body flow to a positive space for change.

Every aspect of FINDING AUTHENTIC YOU fulfills this constant need for diffusing the negative past and dreaming of a fulfilling future.

Step 1: Recognize That Change is Inevitable
Step 2: Release from Resistance to Change
Step 3: Understanding Change and Allow Spirit to Define It
Step 4: A History Lesson—About You
Step 5: Look at Your Past with Compassion
Step 6: Making a Strong Commitment to Change
Step 7: Dream Your Fabulous Future
Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One Challenge:
TOOLS FOR CHANGE:
Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

• Introduction to Meditation
• Smoke Cessation mp3
• Weight Loss mp3
• Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3
• Insomnia mp3
• Eternal Om mp3
• Meditation Music mp3
• Guide to Meditation mp3
• Healing the Body mp3
• And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.
Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

* * *

Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day. I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header.

Also, be looking for “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) in Early 2014. Thanks!

Please follow and like us:
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