Month: February 2014

Letting Go of a Loved One #divorce #death #separation

One of the best pieces of advice I have ever gotten was that “every relationship inevitably separates; either by death, separation, or divorce. Getting into a secure and happy relationship relies heavily upon both partners recognizing this inevitability.” Every day, every moment is then shared with the understanding that time is of the essence and this relationship is, at best, ephemeral. Let’s not be negative, but realistic.

We don’t benefit in any situation by taking people and their relationships for granted, especially those closest to us. We also don’t benefit by keeping close and anxiously attached relationships when someone isn’t deserving of our time and love.

Scenario One: A young woman decides she loves her drug addiction more than she appreciates the good boundaries you have set up in your parental/child relationship. She steals from you. She mistreats you. She keeps you up most days worrying.

Scenario Two: A partner moves in close for the catch. He treats you with some respect and lavishes you with gifts. But, later, when he has captured your heart, he tromps on it hard and expects you not to budge as he leaves you hanging in the balance.

Scenario Three: Someone in your life has outgrown the nurturing benefits of your relationship only to become dependent on them.

All three of the relationships above require you to let go. It may be a child going away to college or leaving for his first new job in Japan. It may be a woman whom you have loved for fifteen years, but who has taken away intimacy and replaced it with a heavy, dictator’s hand. It may be an addiction that requires you to move completely away and separate yourself. But all of these circumstances require you to get out of the way of someone else’s problem or growth and get on with your own.

I thought that I had found a securely attached friend once. He “exhibited” all of the right qualities one looks for when thinking about the long term. But as the relationship continued, as I look back now, he moved away every time I moved closer—it wasn’t far, but it was away. His fear grew exponentially as I began to depend on him being there for me, even though his dependency for me grew as well.

Relationship is growth. Sometimes what appears to be securely attached is really avoidantly attached in sheepskin, posing as the right behavior to keep you close. But only time and “you taking space” in relationship will reveal the harsher truth. Unfortunately, sometimes, the revealing only comes with your vulnerability. This fact is the harshest part about deciding you are ready for relationship. Only the most adeptly secure person can know the intricacies of how much to reveal, how much to share, how much to depend and in what given time to protect the most intimate places of the heart. Even the most protected of hearts will hurt when one of the three behaviors above presents itself. The only way to be healthy and construct secure boundaries is to leave a relationship gone wrong. Be strong. You have it within you to look at the situation with a compassionate, observer eye.

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TOOLS FOR CHANGE:
Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

• Introduction to Meditation
• Smoke Cessation mp3
• Weight Loss mp3
• Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3
• Insomnia mp3
• Eternal Om mp3
• Meditation Music mp3
• Guide to Meditation mp3
• Healing the Body mp3
• And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.
Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

______________________________________________

New Challenge: Go to Week 13 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” at www.Bosebastian.com
______________________________________________

Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One to Four Challenges:

* * *

Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day. I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header.

Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!

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Lose Those Last Few Pounds #exercise #diet #weightloss

As promised, I’m writing a Discovery about exercise that can help you lose those extra pounds without forcing you to go to the gym after a hard day’s work. Here’s what I do, and I am still losing weight. I have three more pounds, until I’m at my fighting weight, and this is what I did last night for exercise. I took my fitness ball into the living room and bounced on it for 45-50 minutes, while I watched the television show “Arrow.” This is one of my favorite sci-fi shows, so I was completely engulfed in it. I can’t even remember bouncing. I got my 45-50 minutes of cardio in and was able to watch a great television show at the same time. Now that’s cool!

I have had many people take out their fitness ball and do a few different kinds of exercise on it. It just so happens, you can do about 4-5 different exercises that won’t even get you off of the ball. One that takes a shift to the couch or a chair is to put the ball under your feet, and bounce your legs up and down on the ball. While you do this, pull your tummy in as if you pressing down toward your back. So, every movement of power has a tummy tuck with it. When you bounce, you can do the same thing. Pull the navel in toward the back for a few bounces. Let it loose for a few bounces! This will work that much needed abdominal area while you exercise.

Another exercise you can do with the ball is to lie on the ball, face down. As you exhale, simply pull you tummy back, squeeze your buttocks together, and lift your chest up off of the ball. Of you can lift the opposite arm and opposite leg at the same time. This will work your back muscles.

After you’re finished, you can relax backward on the ball and stretch out your back. Feels great.

One caveat… If you are older and a bit unsteady, make sure the fitness ball is next to something solid and unmoving. I keep my fitness ball wedged between the couch and a chair for support. I hold on to the couch while I bounce, if I’m feeling unsteady.

The other simple exercise option is to get a yoga video and learn a few relaxing exercises and strengthening exercises. Then, without the video, do them in your bedroom before bed, or in the living room after your food has digested. This one takes a little more prep, but will also help you relax your muscles before bed. You can get my fitness video: Boga Fitness and learn some great exercises that are tailor-made for you.

I guarantee you that, if you stay on the diet from the past two days and do the exercise, you will lose weight! I have put some of my clients on this same diet, and we are all kicking butt! Get healthy. Also, if you need some subconscious motivation, go to my web store and for $3, download the weight loss MP3 and listen to it daily for a week. Bo

___________________________________

TOOLS FOR CHANGE:
Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

• Introduction to Meditation
• Smoke Cessation mp3
• Weight Loss mp3
• Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3
• Insomnia mp3
• Eternal Om mp3
• Meditation Music mp3
• Guide to Meditation mp3
• Healing the Body mp3
• And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.
Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

______________________________________________

New Challenge: Go to Week 13 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” at www.Bosebastian.com
______________________________________________

Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One to Four Challenges:

* * *

Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day. I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header.

Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!

Please follow and like us:
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Having Pancakes for Dinner? #diet #weightloss

I recently took a 7-day Caribbean cruise where food is absolutely the largest attraction on the ship. Granted, the chefs always had healthy choices available, next to each healthy vegetable were ten different ways you could gain an extra pound. One of the facts the cruise director told us on at the beginning of the cruise was that most people gain three pounds a day on a cruise ship. THREE POUNDS A DAY! Do you know what you would look like in a month? Is it even possible to gain 90 lbs in a month?

What I know for certain, by experience, is that most people do not know what healthy eating looks like. When clients come in for weight loss hypnosis, they always say that they know everything they are “supposed” to do, but simply can’t make themselves do it. But, then I ask an individual what a healthy breakfast or lunch looks like, and some even say McDonalds pancake breakfast for dinner. It has meat, carbs and fat, right? I’m not joking!

So, what I thought I would do is spell out what I believe healthy choices are for those of you who think you are dieting, but may not be by virtue of food choices. But more importantly talk about quantity of food.

Most people forget that each item of food you eat has a caloric or energy intake. So, when you put 2000 calories into your body, and only use 500 in a day, you operate on a overload daily, which leads to weight gain every time. If you have to be sedentary because of illness, you simply have to deploy a new way of taking in less calories; otherwise, you will gain weight every time. This is why Weight Watchers has so many people losing weight. Their premise operates on caloric counting.

I do believe that healthy weight loss has to have a lot more than calorie counting involved; otherwise, you will have that 500 calorie hot fudge cookie before you eat the broccoli. That’s simply not a good thing to do every day if you want the amount of iron, nutrition, and fiber you need.

I look at food in 3 different groups: bad carbs, good carbs, and protein. Fat, we’ll consider an additive. Bad carbs are mostly white things, sugars, desserts, bread, pasta, rice, and potatoes. Good carbs are vegetables and fruit. (I know some people consider pasta a complex carbohydrate, but for simplicity sake, let’s say that it’s part of the “weight gaining carbs” right now.) Protein is meat, fish, vegetarian protein, nuts, beans, cheese, and milk—granted, the beans, cheese, and milk have protein, but also have carbohydrate and fat in them.

For a good diet to work, you have to a have a combination of good carbs and protein and healthy fat (not including any hydrogenated or heated oils). The key to making the right choice is in the ratio of carbs, to protein, to fat. The most effective use of food—for it to turn into healthy energy—is when you have about a palm-sized portion of protein, two palm-sized portions of a good carbs, and a modicum of healthy fat ranging in the teaspoon to tablespoon range depending on what kind of fat you use. If it’s an avocado, which is a healthy fat, you may want a tablespoon. If it’s meat fat, definitely use a lower amount.

Okay, this is my simple, healthy lesson about food today. Tomorrow I’ll conquer exercise.

I guarantee you that, if you stay on this diet and do the exercise, you will lose weight! I have put some of my clients on this same diet, and we are all kicking butt! Get healthy. Also, if you need some subconscious motivation, go to my web store and for $3, download the weight loss MP3 and listen to it daily for a week. Bo

___________________________________

TOOLS FOR CHANGE:
Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

• Introduction to Meditation
• Smoke Cessation mp3
• Weight Loss mp3
• Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3
• Insomnia mp3
• Eternal Om mp3
• Meditation Music mp3
• Guide to Meditation mp3
• Healing the Body mp3
• And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.
Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

______________________________________________

New Challenge: Go to Week 13 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” at www.Bosebastian.com
______________________________________________

Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One to Four Challenges:

* * *

Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day. I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header.

Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!

Please follow and like us:
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