Month: May 2014

Living with Bitterness #anger #MayaAngelou #anxiety #cancer

“Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.” —Maya Angelou

In the words of one of the greatest writers of all time, “anger is like fire.” It sits deep in your soul and spreads like wild fires on dessert land with no rain in sight. Ms. Angelou says anger “burns it all clean,” but she didn’t make much about the difference between her first metaphor about bitterness, which she says, “is like cancer… eating up the host” and anger. What did she mean by her pertinent analogy?

The dictionary defines bitterness as “resentment, disappointment at being treated unfairly.” It, also, defines anger as “a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure or hostility.” Both sound very much the same. However, I believe Ms. Angelou distinguished the two. She meant that bitterness was like cancer, homeostatic, sitting quietly in your cells, but growing. Anger, however, actually is a forceful movement toward change—like fire. I would tend to agree with this concept, if I accept her precept.

I have been angry a lot in my life. But more than angry, I have been bitter—deeply bitter from hurt that has gone unrequited. I had an alcoholic father who abused everyone around him. I had committed partners who have committed adultery. I have had friends steal from me. I have had people speak lies about me. But what has caused the most bitterness is the feeling that I believe Creator God would want me to forgive everyone without the need to work through the problems, first.

What rises in me when someone wrongs me, now, is pure anger. The bitterness is gone. I’ve worked through the whys and hows. Now I need to make some fierce changes with how I handle bitterness and being mistreated. In other words, I must create better boundaries to stop what has happened in the past, but also work on the triggers of the old bitterness as well.

The one time I remember in my life I let my anger manifest, I ended up in the worst predicament I had ever been in, in my life. Anger caused a complete dismantling of my life and some friendships. I was exonerated of the wrong, but I still felt bitter. Anger without the release of bitterness makes no sense. There must be a way to extinguish both!

Many therapists and psychologists say that anger is the final stage of grief. What I perceive as a hypnotherapist and life coach is that bitterness is habitual, negative thinking. So, to get out of bitterness we must create actions to circumvent or interrupt the neural pathways of the habitual thought or action. If you seriously don’t want to be bitter anymore about someone or some action, then you must take control of your mind and stop the habit of thinking the negative thought. This process takes diligence and may take a clinical hypnotherapist to help. But, changing your belief will also stop the growth of the resentment building inside like a cancer. You must do this, or else you will end sick, because as we know, cancer often kills!

***

I am moving to Southern Florida to begin a new small imprint publishing company called: Finding Authentic You Publishing: . I am accepting submissions now for my January 2015 bookshelf. If you or any friends are interested, please go to the website and read the submission guidelines. Thanks.

Finding Authentic You is my brand and is also aself-help guide, which I wrote, with 365 Discoveries, meant to aid you in facilitating some of life’s most difficult challenges, like sleep. But, the discoveries also lead you to what you believe spiritually, understanding your goals, learning to believe in your self, discovering the most distinct you, unlocking all of your negative thinking, and helping you replace it with positive, creative thought using many different modalities, including hypnosis, prayer, and psychology. Once you know yourself, then relationship with Spirit and people is a fairly easy task.

For much more information about finding out about the psychology of the human mind and being your authentic self, self-love, and self-esteem, check out my new book below. “Finding Authentic You” will answer many of the questions I propose above. The book also has many discoveries about health, both mental and physical, as well as spiritual discoveries to lead you to your highest and best! Thanks for being a part of my tribe and helping get this book and all of my media below into the right hands, helping the right hearts.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=finding%20authentic%20you&sprefix=finding+%2Caps&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Afinding%20authentic%20you

Marlenepic


Finding Authentic You: With
365 Daily Discoveries & 7 Steps to Effective Change

* Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or http://bosebastian.com/Home_Page.php Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed. Please spread the word by liking the page or sharing this with your friends.

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Anticipation of Change #Change #releasingthepast #resentment

I have been on the precipice of change for almost a month now. Every day, I have to pray to God that I contain my anxiousness enough to live in the present and to continue to hold on to the premise that “expectations are prepackaged resentments.”

I remember a time in life when I had $500 in the bank, was 21 years old, and living in Beaver Falls, Pennsylvania with my mother, sister, and her 1-year-old son. I received a phone call from a director friend (who has recently passed away of cancer) in NYC asking if I wanted to sublet his apartment for the summer. He would charge me $250 a month, which was amazingly cheap, if I would just take care of a few things for him while he was away at summer stock. He needed an answer the next day, which would mean I would be on a bus headed for a city I had only visited once and was too overwhelmed to even consume the vastness of its danger, magnificence, and opportunity. However, I had been dreaming of New York since I was young. So, without hesitation, I said yes.

I was on a bus to NYC the next week with only two suitcases holding everything I would need to audition, live, and survive. I had no prospects of a job, but I knew I could do just about anything, if it would mean surging toward my dream. So, in my heart, I had no qualms about finding that one perfect job that solved my financial problem of having the money for the rent the next month, classes, and food.

I had a college roommate, who, also, has since died of diseases related HIV Disease, who worked as a waiter in a great restaurant. He introduced me to the owner. She was Italian and liked me, immediately. I began to trail Rick the next day and enjoyed 2 years of working at The Fives, which I believe still exists. Life seemed to flow like water from a fountain. I even got my Actor’s Equity card in the first month I was there, which is unheard of. I had the fire in my loins that it took to make effective change and a dream that had carried with it no shadows of despair.

Today, I’m older and have had much loss and have expected way too much of life. However, I realize that the power, the dream, and the recognition that Life is on my side, even when I believe it isn’t, remains with me, just as it did when I was twenty-one. You see, even my partner leaving, my best friend moving to Thailand, and my mother having a blocked carotid artery all in the same week was a shove toward the future that I needed to make this “Encore Career” move.

I feel fortunate to be in this moment, because life is surging through my veins again like a vital energy I haven’t felt in years. I have a new relationship that looks amazingly promising, a new publishing company I began a month ago, with 2o of my books, healing Mp3s, and a yoga video. My boss at the YMCA has offered to introduce me to 3 of the supervisors at neighboring Y’s in south Florida to teach yoga. And some of my current coaching clients are going to stay with me on Face Time.

The only thing that stands in my way is my own anxious thoughts about what to expect from the next moment. I am currently using my down time to meditate to extract these unrealistic beliefs that life should be in my timing, not God’s. I believe this with all my heart and I pray to release expectation, which has no spiritual, nutritional value. These are the only two hindrances that can keep anyone from essential and mortal change.

***

I am moving to Southern Florida to begin a new small imprint publishing company called: Finding Authentic You Publishing: findingauthenticyoupublishing.com. I am accepting submissions now for my January 2015 bookshelf. If you or any friends are interested, please go to the website and read the submission guidelines. Thanks.

Finding Authentic You is my brand and is also aself-help guide, which I wrote, with 365 Discoveries, meant to aid you in facilitating some of life’s most difficult challenges, like sleep. But, the discoveries also lead you to what you believe spiritually, understanding your goals, learning to believe in your self, discovering the most distinct you, unlocking all of your negative thinking, and helping you replace it with positive, creative thought using many different modalities, including hypnosis, prayer, and psychology. Once you know yourself, then relationship with Spirit and people is a fairly easy task.

For much more information about finding out about the psychology of the human mind and being your authentic self, self-love, and self-esteem, check out my new book below. “Finding Authentic You” will answer many of the questions I propose above. The book also has many discoveries about health, both mental and physical, as well as spiritual discoveries to lead you to your highest and best! Thanks for being a part of my tribe and helping get this book and all of my media below into the right hands, helping the right hearts.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=finding%20authentic%20you&sprefix=finding+%2Caps&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Afinding%20authentic%20you

The_Leaving_Cellar_Cover_for_Kindle

Finding Authentic You: With 365 Daily Discoveries & 7 Steps to Effective Change

* Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or http://bosebastian.com/Home_Page.php Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed. Please spread the word by liking the page or sharing this with your friends.

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Constructing a Jigsaw Puzzle with Broken Pieces #transformation #releasingthepast

I have constructed a few jigsaw puzzles in my fifty-three years. I remember finishing one particular puzzle of a beautiful Burma Railway over the River Khwae Yai. After finding all the edges first, then beginning the tedious task of assembling the numerous and often oddly shaped, interlocking and tessellating pieces, I realized that three of the main puzzle pieces were broken and a few were even lost, leaving the beautiful picture I was to follow as a pattern from the front cover of the box, looking a bit like an old bridge with some of its basic assembly torn and tattered. This pictured remained in my mind like a mistaken tattoo gotten on a drunken evening.

Jigsaw puzzles were initially a picture painted on a large board, then cut apart with a jig saw; hence, the name. John Spillbury, an English cartographer, is credited for beginning the mass craze in the late 1700s. Puzzle enthusiasts can spend hundreds of hours constructing 5000-piece jigsaw puzzles; sometimes, even varnishing and displaying them in beautiful frames.

I don’t suppose I would have wanted to display the last puzzle I completed, because it had been constructed with broken and missing pieces. How beautiful could a puzzle be if it has broken pieces?

I often feel this way when I take a panoramic view of my own life, watching from above like a eagle in flight. I see fragments of beauty. I see roads leading to paths unknown. I see a great deal of pain. I see graves for that which I lost. But, mostly, what I notice more than any one thing is missing pieces, parts I can’t define or piece together in a way that seem to interlock and hold fast. I imagine that those pieces of my life must be broken or simply not be fitting together correctly. So, I leave those pieces sitting on the side of my life until I understand where they belong.

In times past, I would try to stuff the pieces into a places in my life that seemed to have a hole there, but not exactly matching the curves and angles of the piece of the puzzle I held in my hand. In those times, I had realized that I’d often broken the puzzle piece by trying to fit it somewhere it shouldn’t have been in the first place.

I believe, now, that life would be okay with a few missing pieces. In fact, if the puzzle were completely constructed, my life would feel as it were coming to a close. If that were the case, the only action left to do would be to deconstruct it or display it. I’m not sure which I would choose, but know I want to continue on the path of constructing my life piece by piece. This is living in the now, taking the parts of your life given to you by spirit and managing them as best as you can—even the broken pieces a place if you wait long enough. I know that many times, years later, I have been able to take an old pain or heartbreak and fit the piece into a perfect place in my life’s puzzle. I find reason and understanding where I could see it before, leaving room for more self-compassion, first, and usually for the other person who seemed to stymie the construction of a particular part of my life.

No puzzle is perfect when it comes to life. Be amazed at the missing parts, knowing that God’s intention is to find the exact measure for every space left empty in your heart and mind.

***

I am moving to Southern Florida to begin a new small imprint publishing company called: Finding Authentic You Publishing: findingauthenticyoupublishing.com. I am accepting submissions now for my January 2015 bookshelf. If you or any friends are interested, please go to the website and read the submission guidelines. Thanks.

Finding Authentic You is my brand and is also aself-help guide, which I wrote, with 365 Discoveries, meant to aid you in facilitating some of life’s most difficult challenges, like sleep. But, the discoveries also lead you to what you believe spiritually, understanding your goals, learning to believe in your self, discovering the most distinct you, unlocking all of your negative thinking, and helping you replace it with positive, creative thought using many different modalities, including hypnosis, prayer, and psychology. Once you know yourself, then relationship with Spirit and people is a fairly easy task.

For much more information about finding out about the psychology of the human mind and being your authentic self, self-love, and self-esteem, check out my new book below. “Finding Authentic You” will answer many of the questions I propose above. The book also has many discoveries about health, both mental and physical, as well as spiritual discoveries to lead you to your highest and best! Thanks for being a part of my tribe and helping get this book and all of my media below into the right hands, helping the right hearts.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=finding%20authentic%20you&sprefix=finding+%2Caps&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Afinding%20authentic%20you

Marlenepic

Finding Authentic You: With 365 Daily Discoveries & 7 Steps to Effective Change

* Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or http://bosebastian.com/Home_Page.php Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed. Please spread the word by liking the page or sharing this with your friends.

 

 

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