Month: November 2014

Cleaning Up the Mess: #Thankfulness

Last Sunday, Dr. Bob Luckin said this about thankfulness: “When you clean up after a party, be thankful that you have had the opportunity to have special people to your home and were able to experience joy, love, and fun.” After hearing his thoughts, I had realized I had stopped having parties because of the reality that I would have to clean up the mess afterward.

Suddenly, I wondered if I had missed even more blessings in my life because of my distaste for cleaning. I began to search my heart to consider what might be standing in my way about cleaning, as I have learned the three amazing questions to ask myself whenever I feel bad or indifference about anything:

1.) What wants to happen here?

2.) What do I need to let go of, to let this happen? and

3.) What is the gift that I bring to this situation?

In answer to question number one: God wants to bring more joy into my life by gathering my friends and family together.

Question two: I need to let go of the idea that cleaning up is a bad thing. When I was a child, after my mom left my dad, the children were responsible for all the cooking and cleaning. I resented my mother and my father for forcing a kid to get down on his knees and clean up messes. It’s time I let go of that old thought.

Question three: The special gift that I bring is the good news that I can initiate fun and joy with friends without feeling that I have to impose a negative feeling about cleaning afterwards. I can clear an old resentment, simply by understanding it, having compassion about it, and rethinking the old thought in a new way.

What I see even more clearly now is that I have been “ungrateful” during parties that I have thrown every time I let myself grieve the clean-up process. Even during the party, I’m already thinking about the mess afterward—keeping myself from experiencing ALL of the joy of the moment. How many times have you not experienced the NOW, because you were thinking about something negative in the future?

Today, I commit to living in the moment, no matter what the consequence. This year, I’m having a large gathering for Christmas dinner. I noticed that as soon as I offered to have it at my house, I began to regret it, because of all the work. Now, I have resubmitted the issue to my own brain. I will consider how wonderful it is to have great friends and family to invite to my house. As I prepare to cook and then clean up afterwards, the entire time, I will do my best to honor those close relationships, by being grateful.

This is the season to understand thankfulness. I’m grateful to Dr. Bob for uncovering a place in my life where I can love bigger and receive more joy!

Gluten-free cookbook coverBook Cover - Full SizeThe_Leaving_Cellar_Cover_for_KindleFatal Virtues CoverBooks have feelings:Cover Pic

A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for your family members and friends and support another friend in the process! Thank you and happy Holidays! –Bo

* * *

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

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Believing in Your Limitations

If a perfect stranger were to come up to you and say that you are the prettiest or most handsome person he/she had ever seen, would you be inclined to believe that person? If you gave a speech or a presentation, and everyone in the room gave you a standing ovation, would you embrace their praise or feel like crawling into a hole? Are you the type of person that often says, “No, really?” to a compliment? If you answered yes to one of more of these questions, then, perhaps today is a good day to tell you that you are all that and more! It’s time to start believing in your good, especially if you expect others to have faith in you and your expertise.

I have been talking a great deal about “your story.” What you believe about yourself often differs greatly from what others perceive about you. It would surprise most people in my life that I used to consider myself a very shy person. Most of my friends and people who kn0w me as a speaker and singer would think that this “story” about myself couldn’t possibly be true. I would agonize over performing and speaking. My stomach would ache for days before a gig. Most often, I had the professional expertise to pull off the performance, but I never felt good about what I had achieved. I would pick the one tiny flaw and make it larger than life.

I remember, early on in my career as a singer, it was my first time singing on a professional stage. I was a senior in high school, performing at the Governor’s School for the Arts. My friend, Tim, who is now a professor at the Escuola di Musica in Rome, convinced me to sing and play the piano for a cabaret he directed. I was the first to perform.

I sat at the piano and began to play the introduction of “What I Did for Love.” In the second stanza, my voice cracked on a high note. I was so embarrassed that I almost got up from the piano and ran back to my dormitory. A hush rolled over the audience, as I regained my composure. I started the song from the beginning. I remember deciding that I would do my best to finish the song with as much gusto as I could possibly gather.

At the end of the song, to my surprise, the audience gave me my first standing ovation. Even though I still wanted to crawl under a rock, I had to recognize that, sometimes—actually, most times—an audience is more concerned about the message a performer communicates, rather than the vocal performance. So, I held my head up high and listened uncomfortably to the rest of the show, replaying the horror of that moment so many times in my mind that I had no recollection of the rest of the evening.

The next day, I got so many compliments that I stopped counting. Still, I found it difficult to believe that my performance was good. Especially if you have been in a situation as a child where you had one or both parents often being critical, self-esteem is hard to garner, even in the face of success. You have to work hard at creating a new story, instead of replaying your childhood over and over again in your mind.

Today is a new day. You are a gift, a bright light to the world. Start sharing that gift by recognizing that you are a part of God. God doesn’t reject itself. God doesn’t make imperfection. God creates replicas of Itself!

Meditation PhotoUncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior CoverYour Gay Friend's Cover artGLUTEN FREE COVERWilla_Divine_Cover_for_KindleBilly Ray's Secret Cover

A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for your family members and friends and support another friend in the process! Thank you and happy Holidays! –Bo

* * *

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

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Promises, Promises: Creating Commitment #relationshipadvice

How many people reading this Discovery have been through a divorce wrought with a multitude of broken promises? I know I certainly have, which makes me wonder about promises in the future. Do you remember the song by the same name of this title? The lyrics began with, “Promises, promises, I’m all through with promises, promises. Now!” I’ve been thinking about the reality of making a promise and the ability to actually keep it. For instance, the big “if” is marital commitment. Can we make a promise in a world where we have no idea what tomorrow will hold?

I have decided to take a different approach to relationship. Actually, the guy I’m dating also decided the same thing as we have negotiated the commitment of tomorrow together. The premise is very new to me and quite honestly, scary, as I have lived in a world of anxious attachment. I’m not sure I can really commit to being someone’s friend first, leaving commitment to the day, instead of clinging tightly to a lifetime commitment. I’m certainly sure that promising my life to someone hasn’t helped me get any kind of security, but why does living moment to moment in relationship as committed partners seem so frightening?

I have faced much of my humanity in the past six months of breaking up with a partner, moving from my home of 25 years to a new state, giving up my established business for a dream, and living on the hope of a better tomorrow. Every insecurity that I could have possibly faced has come up to haunt me. As I meet each anxiety with compassion, I notice that I’m willing to agree that the past hasn’t worked so well in many areas of my life. As a result, I’m ready to make necessary changes that will help me be a healthier person—mentally and physically. Relationship is one of those precarious places in my life that just doesn’t seem to react correctly to the norm.

I met a person who is much like me in so many ways, especially in the way we believe spiritually and about relationship. However, both of us are very sensitive and vulnerable, as we have committed to being transparent with each other. Transparency in any relationship, even friendship, brings up strong insecurities when you are just beginning a new relationship. Neither of us knows what to expect, so we have to ask many clarifying questions along the way. These questions have brought up the kind of clarity that makes one have to think of the future to answer.

But, because the relationship is so new, answering questions about the future is difficult. The future is holds supposition that neither of us have the tools to talk about, yet. So, we have added the addendum that we can be committed, today, for now. As a result of taking away the burden of a promise that neither of us has the tools or the information to make, we step out into a new future together, excited and liberated from the norm. The difference is, however, that we hold each other’s hand while we go, creating and balancing that which we know—our passion and commitment—and that which has no boundaries, the future.

Willa_Divine_Cover_for_KindleUncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior CoverBilly Ray's Secret Cover Cookbook Cover
A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for your family members and friends and support another friend in the process! Thank you and happy Holidays! –Bo

* * *

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: 

 

 

 

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