Month: January 2015

Listening vs. Analyzing #compassion

Nowhere is the skill of listening more important than in expressing compassion. Who hasn’t been in a situation, when all you needed was an ear to listen; but, instead, you got someone who tried to solve your problem. Sometimes, being heard is just enough to make you feel secure and loved.

We have different voices that operate in our minds to keep us in check. The voice of our body operates with hunger, physical needs, aches, and pains. The voice of the deductive mind helps us be able to add 2 + 2 and manage our appointments throughout the day. Lastly, we have our inductive or spiritual mind. This part of our mind dreams, imagines, and observes without judgment. We call this part of our thinking our God Mind.

This God Mind is the mind with which we listen in times of compassion. We don’t have to listen with our deductive mind, because we want to observe rather than deduct and be more of a conduit for love. In other words, when we act in a loving and compassionate way, we want to channel God through us, instead of using our Ego to help another person.

Yes, in this God mind, you may find yourself saying something out of character, but flow with it and allow yourself to fully express as Spirit. You will be dumbfounded by how different you feel in times of duress. You may even experience complete joy and fulfillment, even when someone else is feeling bad. What you now feel is the pure abandonment of loving with the Spirit of God through you. How different we all feel when we let go of the idea that we have to do anything to manage others. When we simply take the hand of someone in need and reach deep into the pocket of our soul, we find that God is more than willing to do the rest for us and as us.

 Anxiout Attachment Cover

 If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and “being gay” defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

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Patterns That I Face Everyday #codependency

Patterns That I Face Everyday

We have often heard that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. This is a pattern. For example: I begin a new job and, immediately, don’t like how the boss treats me. I complain to others around me. People always persecute me. Why can’t I find a job where others treat me fairly?

If this pattern happens over and over again, you probably are living in an old story that needs changing. You could also use a new way of looking at this picture. I had a friend who would always found a reason to quit a job after only a month or two. Sometimes, she would be everyone’s favorite person at her new employment for the first few months, because ultimately she was a hard worker. Then, suddenly, her boss would persecute her again. Often, she would have to take her problems to human resources and sometimes to the police. If it wasn’t sexual harassment (she was gay) then it was others getting her hours.

She had a mother who tried hard to support her. This was one of those symbiotic relationships that continued until my friend was about 35. The mother nurtured and loved her child beyond the scope of reason. She needed her daughter’s love and approval to co-exist, so she bent the rules where her daughter was concerned, often giving her money when she needed it. What her mother didn’t understand for a long time was that her daughter needed psychological help and that she had been corroborating with her own child to enable her, never to heal her issues.

Eventually, the daughter’s alcoholism and drug abused got to the point that she became volatile and angry, not only making it impossible to gain employ, but also causing issues with the mother’s family life. The mother finally cut off her daughter. The daughter had no more patterns to fall back to. Eventually, she got the help she needed to break her old habits. But, she had to release the pattern of dependency and codependency to make this happen.

Patterns in our life are like programs on a computer. They run like a mainframe on the computer—in the background—and often don’t present as a problem until its too late. So, we have to look at negative patterns in our lives to help cue us to our deepest problems inside the mechanism of our own brains. This would be like noticing that the printouts from your printer are slightly eschewed. Eventually, you need to change the ink cartridge or the alignment to make the copies appear correct. You wouldn’t continue to tear up the printouts. You would look for the problem that caused them.

This is the same issue with life. When you see a pattern in your life that looks wrong or continues in a negative way, you must look for the problem at the source, not blame it on the paper or the resulting printout. When you do this, you begin to take a look at your own life with a little distance. An omniscient perspective is always a much healthier one to gain a much needed change in attitude.

Anxiout Attachment CoverMeditation PhotoGluten-free cookbook cover

 

If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and “being gay” defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

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“Unsafe” in Relationship #relationship #relationshipadvice #AmericanSniper

The word unsafe would be hard to define if you matured in an environment that never protected you. You would believe that life was a battlefield, as in the leading role of the movie “American Sniper.” The sniper had an angry father who taught his two sons to protect each other at all costs. He taught these concepts to his children via a swift and sharp belt. So, although the sniper picked a “safe” person for intimacy in his wife, the rest of his world was unsafe and mirrored a life always at risk.

When I find myself doing something my father would have done, I become aghast at my actions. I rarely give myself a chance to do good in my father’s honor; because, in my mind, he caused me so much frustration and turmoil. However, he did have some good traits. Many of his relatives would considered him one of the best people they knew. But, most often, narcissistic behavior flies under the radar, because narcissists usually only treat families and spouses with such disdain.

Still, I have to ask myself some questions about my own behavior when I mirror the behavior of one of my parents or a former partner:

1.) What pattern from this moment mirrors a pattern in my past?

2.) Can I change the behavior of this moment by recapitulating the past or, conversely, by rewriting my story?

3.) What person in my present, mirrors my father’s behavior? Why did I attract this person to my life and to what end?

4.) Is this a person who brings out my anxiousness, because of his/her Narcissism, Obsessive Compulsive, or Addictive behavior?

I absolutely know that my life would be better if I only attracted those to my life who were safe. Unfortunately, everywhere I look is someone angry, but wearing the mask of calm, nice, and spiritual. I only get to see any person’s true colors after getting to know him or her. It is only in the long run, you get to see if the person’s endurance for holding up that mask can be maintained or manipulated. You see, holding up a mask is honorable if you try to change negative behavior. “Fake it until you make it,” we often hear, when trying to alter a negative attribute.

The best we can do is to be authentic to our truest feelings and see if our feelings and thoughts affect others in a positive or negative way. If you are constantly causing others to be angry or sad, then you must look at your behavior and know you have the necessary means to change it. You can decide to change or keep inviting people into your life who anger you. If you decide the latter, then watch the angels cause a storm in your life so big that everything gets blown over.

A choice in this world we do not have is whether to be spiritual or not. Everyone has a spirit; and, therefore, is spiritual. Everyone is moving toward God, not away, even though their lives may look a mess. All things are happening for the Good! So, you have a choice to either be a victim to these things, be a student of life, or live life with the mastery of a sage. You will end up learning any of those ways. The victim learns via sleeping consciously during the struggle. The student learns consciously during the struggle. The master invites the lesson into his life even if it means a temporary struggle.

 Anxiout Attachment Cover

If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and “being gay” defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

* * *

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

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