Month: January 2017

If Fear Wins!

Most of us have had a day or a week when we simply resign to fear. Fear’s tendrils wrap around our mind. We are consumed with negative thinking and spiral into a general funk. I get it. I’ve been there plenty of times. However, only a perceptive person can unhook from fear’s tendrils. This proactive stance is actually quite easy. I’ll show you in this blog.

In the “Conscious Reporter,” David Gardner writes:

Fear is a weapon of social control used to manipulate thoughts and actions without people even knowing it. Today it is used to control and alienate would-be practitioners of alternative spirituality. How has this happened and who stands to gain from it? By understanding how fear is used we can be free of manipulation in our choice of spirituality.

Continue reading below.

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Also, check out one of my latest books:
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_____________________________________

Continued from above:

“Human behavior is predictable and therefore controllable”
(F. Skinner)

“The fight-or-flight response is one of the most basic instinctual mechanisms we are born with. Fear has an impressive history of helping us to avoid harmful situations, and as we listened to it and survived by running from predators, these instincts were probably reinforced through generations as those who survived through fear brought their children up to survive in the same way.

“But fear can also be used as a mechanism to control us and scientists have long been fascinated by fear reactions, conducting many studies trying to understand how fear becomes conditioned. The greatest developments in this field have been in the realm of ‘Behaviorism’; the theory that animal and human behavior can be explained through conditioning.”

The truth, however, is that though humans can only be conditioned if they are unaware or hypnotized by fear. When we understand why fear exist, we can preemptively condition our own minds to react in a different way. This is the way humans are far different than animals.

However, most humans react like lab rats because they have never trained their own minds NOT to be stimulated to societal fears.

To prevent fear from paralyzing us, we must first take precautionary methods:

  1. Do not introduce too much negative news into your brain. You cannot successfully condition yourself to react differently to fear if you are constantly watching the news. Traditional news stations typically are trying to induce fear, so that you will continue to watch and tune in daily to make sure that you are okay. When, in fact, you are already and have been safe the entire time.
  2. You must also reduce the amount of television and movies that you watch that make your mind void of feeling for killing, murder, explosions, torture and the spilling of blood. It seems we watch these shows to make our minds immune to the idea that this could happen to us. The truth, however, is that all of this mass murder drama affects the subconscious where our core beliefs exist.
  3. The subconscious must be nurtured more than the conscious mind to the core values and truths that keep you mentally stable and psychologically fit.

Yesterday, I fell prey to some bad news that blindsided me. I didn’t realize that I was even reacting to it, until I was already pouting. I turned on the television, midday, which is not something I often do, just to try to get my mind off of my feelings. After the show—an old comedy called Green Acres—I actually turned off all electronics and got quiet.

When I did this I was able to fortify the part of my mind that needed a booster shot of Truth and Love and Security. Because we don’t carry around a spiritual or psychological advisor in our back pockets, we must be our own nurse’s aid, administering the proper spiritual medication to keep us protected from the infection of fear-based ideas.

The prayer sounded something like this:

“There is only One Presence, One Power, One Love, active in my life, active in the universe, and surging through me now.

“This love in my sound mind is consistently peaceful. I have been created with this Benevolent Mind, so I am like It in all ways.

“It is the macrocosm. I am the microcosm. I am a reflection of all that is good in the world. This is why I feel the tensions of the world and the fear of society with such a strong compassionate heart.

“However, my object is not to fall prey to this fear, but to be a light instead.

“My objective in life and to myself is to shine, not to hide my light under a bushel. To shine I must be fortified with dynamic Truth. This truth is compassion for myself and others, infinite intelligence that leads me onto the perfect path each moment.

“Indeed, I am a reflection of all the good and prosperity that I see around me.

Fear is an illusion. It will always be an illusion until the love in light bearers like you and I shine bright enough to squelch the negativity under our heels. This I can see happening in my mind now.

Love yourself today!

___________________

You don’t get to this voice if reason or recognize it unless you spend time with yourself in silence, asking yourself important self-talk questions. This is like dating. You must get to know the voice of the Spirit by spending time in meditation and silence. This is the only I know to clearly download the power of wisdom and recognize the voice—IN TIMES OF TRAUMA—that is always directing YOU into safety!

____________________

Deciding on and living by your core values is a tenuous challenge. My many years of spiritual coaching and life coaching can help you with this. I have helped many people in this situation see light and overcome the darkness of the past. Give me a call: 954-253-6493. SKYPE sessions are available. http://www.bosebastian.com/client-praise/

 

* * *

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493
(Sessions CAN BE DONE via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

*****

Coming soon, my partner David Menton and I are planning to start a Vlog with Vegetable Based enriched recipes from my plethora of fun and easy ways to make food taste amazing. Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

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Feeling Depressed and Abandoned? #anxiety #stress #abandoned #change #lovewins

Almost everyday, someone contacts me and explains that he or she is feeling depressed, anxious or abandoned by friends and family. This “feeling” is worldwide right now because of all of the upheaval around us (the macrocosm). So, in our own worlds (our microcosm), any small change can cause a huge imbalance in our emotions, making us feel depressed and rejected. I get it. I’ve been there before.

The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that 350 Million people around the world have diagnosable depression. This does not count our small bouts of depression that come and go or the millions of instances where children and adults go undiagnosed from severe depression disorders.

Continue reading below.

________________________________

Sign up for our mailing list BELOW. (You need to only do this once!) You’ll be privy to the latest and greatest ways to help yourself eat, exercise, meditate, and express your authentic life in ways you never thought possible. I promise not to flood you with ads or sell your name to advertisers. This is a personal e-mail server, which I use only to make big announcements. Thanks for signing up in advance.

GET A FREE E-BOOK ON MEDITATION FOR SIGNING UP!

Also, check out one of my latest books:
(This week featuring: “Your New Story, Your New Life” The Metaphysical Mind.)

GO TO AMAZON

_____________________________________

Continued from above:

  • First and foremost, clinical or major depression is growing at an incredible rate.
  • People of all ages, backgrounds, lifestyles, and nationalities suffer from major depression, with a few exceptions.
  • Up to 20% of people experience symptoms of depression.
  • 10 times more people suffer from major depression now than in 1945 (2)
  • The average age of first onset of major depression is 25-29

I AM NOT ALONE! YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

This is my new motto for my practice and my life. I know that many of you feel as if you are walking around in shadows or in the dark, trying to take hold of your life and make something of it with relationships and work. However, transforming your life doesn’t start with the external, though I know that many of you are on spiritual quests as well.

Our deepest wounds and struggles are what cause us to transform into beautiful, evolved spiritual beings living in human bodies.

I often look at the path of the butterfly for a perfect metaphor of the path of transformation from skirmishing around slowly in the dirt to spinning a web high above the earth to hide from the world, for a time; then, suddenly, you find yourself breaking out from the cocoon and you have wings you never realized had been developing all along.

I know this for myself. Thirty years ago, I had diagnosable depression. I had suicidal ideations. I desperately felt alone in the world, though I had been surrounded by people who loved me. I looked for ways to hide from life and lived in my head most days. My thoughts were unwieldy and cyclical, playing like an unwanted movie over and over again until I wanted to scream. How did I make them stop?

Honestly, as I look back, it was many factors, but two specific ones stick out. I had grown up in a severely abusive childhood with sexual abuse and no real role models. Most of the time, I fended for myself and took care of those who were to be caring for me. It was an upside down life.

I vowed to grow up healthy and wealthy and much wiser than those that were to nurture me, but failed. In anyone’s mind, though, we grow attached to our “ideas of success” and our “dreams of amazing love” rather than the reality of our human existence.

I was speaking to a friend this morning who didn’t have to go through all of the struggles I did to find the right mate. His first love stayed his love for his entire life. I shared with him how many times I had to live out every mistake to show my heart what was right and secure and what definitely was not right for me. I went through so much hurt trying to correct the wrongs of my past—in the people I dated. I wonder now how I ever found my way.

Honestly, the only two real aspects of my path that kept me going were 1.) talk therapy with a life coach, spiritual coach, or therapist; and 2) my own search for spiritual truth.

When I discovered what I believed, wrote it down, and confessed it many times daily as an affirmation, my life began to turn around.

What I understand now about the depressed mind is that it is not the ONE MIND I confess I am a part of now. This ONE MIND is not sick at all. It is perfect. However, when we are depressed, we don’t believe we have any sense of perfection whenever we conceive of ourselves as humans with faults. We just simply see our inability to be Like God.

My friends, you don’t need to be “like God.” You are already God. Your only goal in life is to be to get rid of those thoughts that no longer serve you and SHINE YOUR LIGHT.

I had a friend tell me of his endeavors to finish a piece of artwork he had been commissioned to do. He kept getting trapped by small problems. Finally, he was able to send me a picture of the finished product. I could see none of the faults he specifically defined for me. All I saw was his incredible intent and his powerful light in the work. However, I had to convince him of this. Seriously, I spent over 15 minutes telling him, treating for him, and loving him into the idea that his small imperfections were part of the beauty of his work. If the client wanted a perfect replica of something, he would have taken a picture and had blown it up.

Managing our depression is often as simple as sitting in the quiet and confirming that we are a part of this great world and made in the image of God—imperfections and all—especially our imperfections. Because of this, even our flaws are simply okay. Even more than okay, they are beautiful.

Love yourself today!

___________________

You don’t get to this voice if reason or recognize it unless you spend time with yourself in silence, asking yourself important self-talk questions. This is like dating. You must get to know the voice of the Spirit by spending time in meditation and silence. This is the only I know to clearly download the power of wisdom and recognize the voice—IN TIMES OF TRAUMA—that is always directing YOU into safety!

____________________

Deciding on and living by your core values is a tenuous challenge. My many years of spiritual coaching and life coaching can help you with this. I have helped many people in this situation see light and overcome the darkness of the past. Give me a call: 954-253-6493. SKYPE sessions are available. http://www.bosebastian.com/client-praise/

* * *

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493
(Sessions CAN BE DONE via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

 

 

 

 

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The Secret Lives of Ministers #pedophiliainchurch #churchofficials #narcissisminchurch #spiritualskeptics

No surprise to anyone, ministers are humans and have private lives that often do not seem to add up to the qualities you would expect from someone standing behind a pulpit. Some have a completely different persona on stage (pulpit) than when they are off. They treat their parishioners with love, but treat others (waiters, staff, close friends and family) very differently.

How can we detect this kind of narcissistic behavior when all we see is the good side?

In my life I have had the nuisance of having two such ministers that I would likely say are narcissistic. I have worked many years in the psychiatric/psychology arena and have seen and studied such behaviors, mostly because I come from a home with a father that had similar attributes and needed to understand it to overcome its lure.

Everyone in the world thought my father was a saint. But, to his family, he was a demon on wheels. Nothing was ever right. He would go from nice to venomous in seconds. And his anger was tyrannical and vengeful. Life was either his way, or you did not belong in his life.

Church congregations seem to be magnets for people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), and especially a type of NPD called ‘covert’ NPD.

NPD leaders in a congregation tend to be covert because the characteristics of NPD are quite diametrically opposed to the common image of Christian (Spiritual) behavior and countenance. This covert quality will serve to effectively hide the NPD leader for an extended period of time (even decades).

Because NPD people are highly talented at shifting blame and attention away from their own character flaws, the average congregational member may never suspect that there is a very sick leader who is perpetrating the decline of their congregation.

 

Continue reading below.

________________________________

Sign up for our mailing list BELOW. (You need to only do this once!) You’ll be privy to the latest and greatest ways to help yourself eat, exercise, meditate, and express your authentic life in ways you never thought possible. I promise not to flood you with ads or sell your name to advertisers. This is a personal e-mail server, which I use only to make big announcements. Thanks for signing up in advance.

GET A FREE E-BOOK ON MEDITATION FOR SIGNING UP!

Also, check out one of my latest books:

(This week featuring: “Your New Story, Your New Life” The Metaphysical Mind.)

GO TO AMAZON

_____________________________________

Continued from above:

Here’s a dirty little secret:

Pastors and Church Elders are 93% of our most wanted felons for pedophilia. (Abel and Harlow Study, 2014)

It is critical to note that this abuse is no less prevalent within the faith community. In fact, there are studies that demonstrate that the faith community is even more vulnerable to abuse than secular environments. This disturbing truth is perhaps best illustrated by the words of a convicted child molester who told Dr. Salter,

I considered church people easy to fool… they have a trust that comes from being Christians. They tend to be better folks all around and seem to want to believe in the good that exists in people.

Yes, this fact above is primarily about sexual abuse, but it is also about Religious Abuse and, more importantly TRUST, which it is pertinent to this conversation. Most people don’t want to know that evil happens within the church walls, because they think, If I can’t trust the church leaders, who can I trust to help me with my problems?

Though the above is very true, this makes vetting trustworthy faith leaders even more important. Because church leaders are doing their best to lure you into their congregations, they are going to show you their best behavior at the beginning (as any one does in any new relationship). I am one of the best diagnosticians when it comes to narcissism when the person is sitting across from me on my office recliner. But, you dress a narcissist in a nice suit, put a charismatic smile on his/her face, make them intellectual and charming and add the dynamic of spiritual, I’m just as much fooled as the next.

In fact, studies show that people who have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome) are more likely NOT to see this kind of phony behavior because we tend to be pulled in from the triggers from our past. So, if you have been diagnosed with PTSD from a narcissist in the past (as I have), you are going to more likely to be swept away by this same kind of person. The psychological dynamic is:

We are attracted to the very people who hurt us in the past for two reasons: their behavior appears perfectly normal and we intuitively want to heal the hurts from the past by inviting the same behavior into our lives OVER AND OVER AGAIN!

There is Life After Narcissism. Many books have been written about it. One of my favorites is: “Going Through Hell with a Toxic, Narcissistic Church Leader” by John Xavier.

My story is two-fold. I had a female minister who “Blew a trumpet in Zion” when she met me. I was her lifesaver and the only person who could lead her music ministry. After many of my friends warned me about her (her signs of narcissism, inappropriate sexual allure to men in the congregation, and foul dealings and misappropriation with church accounting), I still believed I was her personal savior, as did many she placed conveniently around her (she hand-picked the Board Members, she mistreated the staff, she pitted people against each other by talking behind their backs, and frequently made best friends of the people she needed the most.).

These were all things that became apparent to me a long time after I fell in love with the congregation and felt equally comfortable with the praise and more adulation I got from them each week during and after the services.

It took a wrecking ball the size of New Hampshire to get me out of that church, but one day I just decided I couldn’t be both her friend and her staff. There were too many problems in between. When I left the cozy place of being her BFF, she began to hate me and started malicious lies about me. The past was painful, so painful that it took her getting fired for exposing the church to a lawsuit, counseling wives to leave husbands she was having affairs with, and other disgusting behavior—for me to believe and trust my own instincts.

Recently, I had encountered something similar, but recognized it way sooner, thank God. Unfortunately, not soon enough for me not to fall in love with the congregants and make some friends that now have had to make the hard choice to stay where they are being fed, where they love the pastor, where they love their church friends and even have committed to bank drafts of thousands of dollars to support the church, rather than believe my astonishing news.

No one wants to believe that a pastor has dirty doings or simply bad behavior. Even I was NOT convinced I was completely in the right until I contacted a member of this pastor’s previous church, someone he had known and had been a dear friend of for 15 years. What I learned about this man had completely shown me all that I needed to know to realize my instincts were right—for me.

I can’t make anyone else’s choice for them, but I must not be in a church or in a friendship, where I feel a negative undercurrent, even when what one sees on the surface is professional, loving, and on point.

I write this blog to give people (congregants) permission to be suspicious of the very people that are guiding their children, ministering to their vulnerabilities, and entrusted with their hearts. Everyone should be discerning every moment you are around who you’ve entrusted to help you grow spiritually. It took the people in the first church I spoke about 8 long years to discover and release the negativity that seemed to become a malignant cancer that couldn’t be cured.

Understanding the reality of these disturbing church statistics is one of the first steps in transforming our faith communities into places where children are safe and abuse survivors are welcomed, valued, and loved. Perhaps a better understanding of these disturbing statistics would have prompted church members to make a habit of questioning the finances of the church and the behavior of the minister inside the walls of— and outside the church.

___________________

You don’t get to this voice if reason or recognize it unless you spend time with yourself in silence, asking yourself important self-talk questions. This is like dating. You must get to know the voice of the Spirit by spending time in meditation and silence. This is the only I know to clearly download the power of wisdom and recognize the voice—IN TIMES OF TRAUMA—that is always directing YOU into safety!

____________________

Deciding on and living by your core values is a tenuous challenge. My many years of spiritual coaching and life coaching can help you with this. I have helped many people in this situation see light and overcome the darkness of the past. Give me a call: 954-253-6493. SKYPE sessions are available. http://www.bosebastian.com/client-praise/

* * *

A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493
(Sessions CAN BE DONE via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)

www.bosebastian.com

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books]

 

 

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