David replied something equally absurd. We continued to talk about how easily people get caught up in life and miss the small signs that reflect the honest truth about a soul.
The television show, “The Black List” is based on the premise of a male spy specifically targeting a female FBI agent. When the agent meet her husband, he was working as a teacher in a high school. He was kind, gentle, loving—yet, this FBI agent, who is supposed to be able to get to the bottom of any kind of crime, actually gets duped by this deceitful spy. How does someone pretend to love when love is supposed to be the most transparent and vulnerable place in our hearts? Why does our heart need love so much that we turn a blind eye to truth and facts?
When you think about it, pretending to love is the most horrifying kind of lie. Yet it happens everyday. Perhaps, not to the extent I mention in the past example, but we lie to ourselves and others about love. Most times our intentions are good, but we simply don’t know ourselves enough to be transparent. If we cannot be transparent with someone else, how can we expect it from our love interest?
Continue reading below.
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Continued from Above:
True love and compassion takes the kind of relationship that best friends acquire from sharing experiences and secrets that you would not otherwise have unless you really trust someone. Most loving relationships hold back those deep secrets for fear the loving relationship will run away.
As I reflect back on many of my relationships in the past, I definitely remember signs of problems early on. But lust, the anxiousness to be in a relationship, and TV and movies all teach us to be anything but forthright with our relationships. We are taught to keep the garbage to ourselves and hide from those places in the past that may show someone a tainted image of you. This is the reason why political figures get in trouble so often. They hide what will obviously paint a terrible picture of them. However, if you look at this premise, the reason why we distrust anyone who keeps a secret from the past is not because of the wrongs in the past. We distrust because the person was not transparent.
When relationships start as friends before dating, you ultimately spend most of your long talks on sharing your authentic experiences of life, the past, your thoughts of the future, and your worst fears. This is what creates deep and lasting bonds between two individuals. Hiding is not the way to a secure love.
As friends we learned to be supportive and nonjudgmental to each other. One can look at another guy and say, “Wow, he is really gorgeous!” and the partner will feel nothing but relief that he can share his truth without experiencing jealousy. Love transcends the ephemeral and moves to a place where you want the best for each other and never want to hide your deepest thoughts.
Love looks for the opportunities to grow and to release more fears to feel the arms of security fold around you.
In other words, love cannot grow when any kind of deceit is present.
Do not assert with your mouth what your heart denies.
Christianity speaks of this as well in the scripture (Luke 6:45): “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mind speaks.”
All religions agree that you cannot had love when your heart is deceitful. Yet, many live in constant turmoil in their current relationships, because they cannot seem to find the path to truthful conversations and interaction.
As I have told many clients in the past:
Not every relationship is meant for the long haul. Some are meant to move us closer to our own truth. It is the strong-willed person with an pure understanding of Truth who will release what no longer serves him or her to find the ultimate experience of love.
Releasing fear always draws us closer to love.
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You don’t get to this voice if reason or recognize it unless you spend time with yourself in silence, asking yourself important self-talk questions. This is like dating. You must get to know the voice of the Spirit by spending time in meditation and silence. This is the only I know to clearly download the power of wisdom and recognize the voice—IN TIMES OF TRAUMA—that is always directing YOU into safety!
Coming soon, my partner David Menton and I are planning to start a Vlog with Vegetable Based enriched recipes from my plethora of fun and easy ways to make food taste amazing. Enjoy!