Religion (#Creationism), #Science, and #Extraterrestrials continued to be an intrigue as a ten year old boy, even as I suddenly became the target of much discrimination, humiliation, and judgment. How did I handle the problem of not understanding why I was so different?
The answer lies in the place I went for consolation:
I distinctly remember being faced with mean children, especially older boys, who would ask me to have sex with them, call me a fag, and assumed I was already gay before I even knew it. I never acquiesced to any of their threats, desires, or manipulation.
I stayed innocent about sex until I became pubescent. I had no real sexual drive at 10, so I was not tempted by them. Every girl in the neighborhood loved me and would fight over who I liked the best. The girls loved me, but the boys humiliated me, except for my three boy buddies my age.
I couldn’t understand why I was singled out by these mean older kids. Was it because I played the piano? Was it because I liked to sing? Was it because I was right smack dab in the middle of 4 young sisters, whom they secretly wanted and who influenced me more than they knew?
The answer as to where I took my grief, my fear, my torment and my anxiety is to what I knew as God in my heart. I seriously don’t know what I would have done had no angel appeared to me that night when I was 6 or 7, while I was in my bed.
Nothing and no-one could tell me that what had happened to me wasn’t real. I told no one and therefore no one could dissuade me from believing. The angel didn’t instruct me not to tell anyone. I simply knew that this was my precious guardian angel that helped me in times when I didn’t understand life. This is the answer I often heard when I would go to Spirit and ask why bad things were happening to me:
These children don’t understand me as you do, my child. They will eventually learn about me—everyone will. The bad they do to you and to others will come back to them—to their bodies, to their lives, and to their homes. No one escapes this law of God. Trust and wait for that day of judgment to come when you will understand all of the answers.
Actually, even though when I look back I am amazed at my own patience at 10 years old, this kind of answer to my prayer kept me at peace. I saw enough of the “mean children” get reprimanded and beaten and chastised for their behavior, so I understood the consequence of mean behavior. I simply knew I didn’t want to be bad, not in the least.
There was a time, however, and I remember it distinctly, that my siblings began to steal money from my father’s bottle of coins in his bedroom. I did see every one of my siblings doing this, and decided this was a rule that could be broken. I did steal some coins for candy, and also my brother tells me that I stole his paperboy money for candy as well. I can’t say that I remember that, but I’m told by my mother and sisters that I had done this at a very young age.
My dad eventually discovered his money was missing. All of the siblings were questioned, including me. My father couldn’t believe when I confessed. He didn’t paddle me like he did the rest, but instructed me that this was not something he expected of me ever again in the future.
My dad, though he didn’t understand how to treat a young boy like me, actually was very proud of the fact that I was a straight A student and could play the piano brilliantly for that age. He doted on me to our company and often made me play “The Summer Knows” for his friends and family, which even at my age now is a difficult piano piece to play.
What I want you to take from this is:
Regardless of where you are on your spiritual walk, you too can ask Spirit any question in the silence of your own thoughts. You will be answered, whether it be in a book, someone saying something to you that answers the question, watching television and a lesson seems to stare you in the face, or, like me, in a small still voice inside. You can’t build a relationship with God unless you spend time with and in the presence of the Great Spirit. There are many blogs in my 8 years of writing that teach about meditation. Also, you can look at the end of this blog and find a meditation that you can use to help you understand the mechanics of meditation for yourself. Please do me a favor and sign up for my youtube channel. I am really trying to build my social presence on youtube, so that I can begin to reach more people. Thank you.
Again, meditation is a step in spiritual development we must be on to get stronger spiritual and identify our paths on this Earth. Our entire purpose for being on this Earth is to get stronger and stronger in Love and Compassion. When we make choices that benefit the ego self, we often go in the wrong direction in life; this would include choices that are based in fear.
Fear is not love. Anything in your life that presents itself as fear is an illusion trying to keep your from a God Choice or a Miracle!
Join me again for more of my story in the next blog…
Buy My New Book at Amazon.com
Take the opportunity to read Your New Story, Your New Life, my last book, which defines how to change your external life by changing your mind and your thoughts and gives you exercises to accomplish this.
Please follow and like us: