5 Steps to Going from Pain to Gain #growingfrompain #divorce #abandonment #spiritualadvice

Recently, I saw myself take a completely different road than I normally would have taken after a painful breakup. In times of hurt, I would usually pout, mourn, then pout and mope, then get really angry, before any healing began. This most recent time, I walked through the door of being vulnerable into whatever change Spirit was calling me to do. As I did so, I discovered one of the most valuable parts of my subconscious grieving in the background, like a young child left in a dark hallway for forty some years.

I shared my story about this situation a couple of days ago in my 5-24-15 blog entitled “Finding Resolve from My Insane Ego.” What I didn’t explain was how a great friend and therapist had to share how differently I had reacted before I was even able recognize my own refreshing resolve to an old problem.

Screen Shot 2016-05-11 at 10.04.32 AMSo, how do you get from pain to gain? Most people think that the old paradigm of grieving, then getting angry, then pouting, then moping for days, and then taking lots of time off from life will resolve almost any kind of hurt. In my case, I made a completely different choice, spiritually. Here is the difference in the process:

  1. When something or someone causes you pain in your life, ask this questions immediately: What do I have to learn from this, God? Get out of your pain for long enough to simply ask. Don’t expect an quick answer!
  2. When you get clear about your lesson, ask the second question: How do I get my ego out of the way to learn this lesson? This is the time to spend lots of time quiet in meditation. Clear your mind for divine inspiration. (I know that your ego mind will want to rant and rave and be angry and hurt, but settle into the quietness by continually repeating a mantra such as, “I am so blessed, I am so blessed. I know I’m blessed.”)
  3. Call a friend or a therapist who can support your SPIRITUAL growth around this subject. Don’t call someone who will support your grief! This is important. (You may eventually need to talk with a grief counselor of some sort, but right now, we are hoping for a different resolve than the old way of living through pain.)
  4. Write an intention about the process. It may look like this: “I know that God is all in all, as big as the ocean and as small as the tiniest particle in physics. I, also, know that I am a piece of that whole, always complete—spiritually, mentally, and physically. Nothing or no one can take away from God. I am complete because God is Complete. What I’m feeling physically and mentally, now, is just an effect or a memory of pain—a neural pathway firing from my past like an old computer program. I choose to use this ego feeling to understand a bigger picture that may be lying dormant underneath this temporary pain.”
  5. Allow yourself and your body time to grieve. Death and separation from love is like going through an operation where something is removed from your body. If you have had surgery, you would have to take time to heal. Just imagine that what you went through physically REQUIRES TIME TO HEAL. Pamper yourself. Read a good book. Lay in bed for a couple of days and do very little. All of this is part of the physical process of healing. You will be amazed at how much quicker you recover from the mental anguish, when you treat your body as if it were healing from an operation.


I guarantee that if you do all that I have shared, your time of grief will be exponentially shorter, as mine was. Growing from pain doesn’t have to mean years of torture. Remember: Spirit wants you always to be happy. The reason why you experience pain in the first place is to eventually COMPLETELY resolve the pain from your past.

Picture of Learning Alone

Today’s featured book is “Learning Alone.” It’s a book birthed from my own psychological growth. I guarantee you’ll grow from understanding how to learn from your relationship paradigm in ways you never thought you could— mind, body, and spirit. Also, if you click on the Amazon site, you’ll see all of my 15 book— Cookbooks, Novels,  Self-Help Books, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.

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A Single Session w/Bo Sebastian 

What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian

Call 954-253-6493 (All Sessions are done via PHONE, SKYPE or FACETIME.)


If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and “being gay” defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]





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