A Portrait of My Mother; A Portrait of Me

I trace the fine lines around my mother’s eyes and feel the rich colors of her heart in every passing gaze. Yet, in the silence of whispers and in the magic of doing nothing, I follow the long silken strains to the inner recesses of her undernourished mind. The magic this Christmas was realizing that all she is, everything she was, and even her future reflects a mirror image of myself.

I spent a few days a little depressed around the holidays. Every time I asked myself what was wrong, I kept repeating that I’m frightened about the future. I wondered if I’m good enough to keep love flowing in my life, to sustain a thriving business, and to continue to write with persistence and authenticity. All seemed to come to a head when I wrote down how many people I have unresolved issues with in my life. I made a list like Santa. Only, I checked this list thrice. Yes, there were at least fifty people on the list about whom every time I recall the past, I feel a sensation of sadness. When I go down the road of our last conversations and recount the great moments in our lives, I realize that all I really feel is loss. I repeat to myself, “This is Direction, Bo; not Rejection!” Yet, I still feel the stinging pain of abandonment in every lost relationship; especially now during the holiday.

I sat at the kitchen table with my mother this afternoon. She said, “I’m going to use the new plates you bought me for Christmas dinner. I sure do wish I had some nice salad plates to go with them.”

I took a deep breath and spoke quietly: “Why is it so hard to be thankful for what you have and not complain about what you don’t have?”

She responded, “I’m not complaining. I’m just stating a fact! I’m thankful about the plates you bought.”

Yet, all I could hear in her issuance of the statement about the salad plates was: I wish you had bought me a set with pretty salad plates! I let myself feel guilt and manipulated by her words, instead of taking them at face value. Then, it occurred to me just how much she has done without, her entire life. Finally, I’m able to give her things she had never had, the security of a life that she thought she would never get. So, when she makes statements such as the one about the dinner plate, perhaps, it’s just that she feels the sense of lack from her past more than she feels the joy of having something lovely in the present. Or her mind sees the holes in the infrastructure of her life, rather than focusing on the solid, secure basement.

You know, I can understand this concept. I had mentioned about the sadness about the fifty people in my life. But what I didn’t tell you was how many thousands more I have in my life who absolutely love and adore me and make my heart overflow with joy daily. I have a partner that is the best man in the world. He makes me laugh and smile all the time. He helps me feel secure and loved 99% of the time. I have a job that excites me every day. And I have artistic hobbies that keeps me flowing with creative energy. With all that is good in my life, I am still a portrait of my mother. I trace and retrace all that is wrong with my life, instead of settling on the wonder and the joy that God recreates in my life every day and every moment.

Life isn’t about loss. To quote a woman who had conquered cancer, only to find a new growth, years later, she said, “Life is loss. Every moment of every day passes before you have the chance to enjoy it. The trick to being happy is to cherish the current moment, more than you mourn the loss of the one passing you!”


New Challenge: Go to Week 8 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” at www.Bosebastian.com


Look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!

Below is information that I will be sharing for about a month, as not every person on my list reads the blog every day. If you have already read it, just skip over it. Thanks for understanding.

A Year to CLEAR Challenge:
(Please Know: You Can Join Us At Any Point in the Year Challenge.)

The masses search outward for things that qualify them as a person, but I always go inward for that which quantifies me for greatness. At twenty-five I preached on street corners in NYC as an in-the-closet Pentecostal minister. One day I heard a still small voice say, ‘God cannot be contained in a book or a law or even in a religion. Dig deeper, reach further to find me, and you will find your authentic Self.’”

A Year to CLEAR Challenge!

The acronym CLEAR stands for (Compassionate, Loving, Enthusiastic, And Relationship-Ready). The goal of this project is to engulf readers in a weekly study that will transform them by removing blocks, promote self-growth, and give them wings to fly freely into daily life. Each week, by going to BoSebastian.com and choosing the Year to CLEAR Challenge tab, a new challenge or thought to provoke conversation, growth, and group functionality.

My vision is to make Finding Authentic You the book to have in your Kindle or on your computer. The book is a comprehensive look at growth—spiritually, mentally, and physically.

As a yoga teacher and student of the Ayurvedic tradition, I bring to the table understanding of physical challenges, the ability to overcome mental problems with Life & Health Coaching, as well as hypnotherapy, and expertise in meditation and spirituality as a minister.

The combination of all three in one book with an interactive connection to like-minded readers, for one year, is what makes this Year to CLEAR Challenge a must-do for every spiritual seeker.

The One-Year Approach to Change

No one believes he or she can change overnight. But success in change comes from the metaphors of nature. Seasonally, life changes all around us in nature. Finding Authentic You offers a gradual change perspective, looking at the triune aspects of change as in yoga: Body, Mind and Spirit.

Accessing the ability to change and finding yourself actually pursuing change must be a daily search, which I call getting to the “observer mind.”

In this frontal cortex of the brain we find the anatomy of change and the power to counter every negative trigger of the human process. The workings of Hypnosis, NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) are all positive actions to help the mind and body flow to a positive space for change.

Every aspect of FINDING AUTHENTIC YOU fulfills this constant need for diffusing the negative past and dreaming of a fulfilling future.

Step 1: Recognize That Change is Inevitable
Step 2: Release from Resistance to Change
Step 3: Understanding Change and Allow Spirit to Define It
Step 4: A History Lesson—About You
Step 5: Look at Your Past with Compassion
Step 6: Making a Strong Commitment to Change
Step 7: Dream Your Fabulous Future
Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One to Four Challenges:
Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

• My Latest Book: Finding Authentic You—7 Steps to Effective Change (800 page downloadable Kindle version)
• Introduction to Meditation
• Smoke Cessation mp3
• Weight Loss mp3
• Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3
• Insomnia mp3
• Eternal Om mp3
• Meditation Music mp3
• Guide to Meditation mp3
• Healing the Body mp3
• And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.
Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day. I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header.

Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!

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