And I’m Thinking About Forgiveness
November 12, 2014
I came upon a lesson about forgiveness. It stood in front of me like a brick wall. I couldn’t get to my life unless I chipped away at the lesson to make room for the light and space that couldn’t get passed. I tried to avoid it. I tried to deliberate it without changing it. I adjusted it to slip past it temporarily. But, day after day, unforgiveness stood in my way and blocked all the perfect and compassionate ways of love that could be blessing my soul.
So, I realized that “forgiveness is for me today, to give forth a new idea, a new perspective to my life and any current situation that needs my compassion.” (Dr. Arleen Bump) “Forgiveness, is giving up all hope of a better yesterday…” (Mark Twain)
I, also, realized that “forgiveness is like a poison that I give myself,” in the hope of hurting the person who harmed me. With this understanding, I made a mental assessment of all the people that I haven’t forgiven. You see, I had to look hard to find these things and people, because, before I left Nashville, I took three months to do just that with all my exes, friendships that had fallen by the wayside, and people that I had unfinished business with. However, what I realized is that forgiveness doesn’t stop with the big hindrances. Unforgiveness is a life force that affects every part of my body on a daily basis.
Unforgiveness begins with a judgment. I don’t like what you do, how you do it, or question your intentions. This is the inception for all unforgiving thoughts. If you don’t take a mental assessment daily of this energy, eventually it gets to you and stops the movement of good in your life.
Yesterday, I was halted completely by small pieces of unforgiveness merging together to make one large blockage, like a dam stopping the inflow and the expression God in me. So, I looked harder and found that my judgment of two situations in my life had been causing unforgiving thoughts to myself, not to the people who caused the infractions.
These people brought up in me a place where I tend to condemn myself and my reactions, so much so, that I hold myself in contempt of court, until I make everything better. But, the truth is about the situation, I need to learn to accept my human behavior and quit condemning myself for making mistakes. I hold myself to a higher ideal than I do most people. The ideal is so high, sometimes, that I can’t live up to it. So, what comes from it is self-condemnation and even denial of my own good.
I have learned to look at my humanness as I would the young Bo inside of me (I call him Bobby). When I make a mistake, I imagine that I have a child who has simply not understood, been reactive or had a tantrum, hasn’t been given the right information to make a solid choice, or simply tripped over his own self-righteousness. I may chastise the child or simply correct him, but most likely, I would stand in forgiveness, knowing that what he needed is encouragement and the right information to make a better choice next time.
Take a moment today to bring forgiveness to yourself and others in your life. You will find that the gift you give yourself in this action will shed incredible light and compassion in and through you throughout the day.
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Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]