Bo’s Little Secret #anxiety #stresstriggers #mybiggestfan #lovewins
January 22, 2017
Tonight, I got the strangest pleasure out of watching Hollywood star’s fans making fools out of themselves. The television show, “The Biggest Fan,” was on. I just had to indulge. Tonight’s star was Kim Kardascian (or however you spell it… Obviously, not a big fan.)
Three people, two women and one man were friggin’ so obsessed with this star that they actually knew more about Kim than she did.
- They colored their hair the same color as she.
- Their bedrooms were decorated in Nouveau Kardashian (I’ll try another spelling) memorabilia. They dressed like her.
- They watched every episode of whatever the name of their show was/is countless times.
This show was literally ridiculous, that I watched the next episode and the next with 2 stars I didn’t know anything about.
This so-called problem is so bad in the world there is an actual name for the syndrome:
Celebrity worship syndrome (CWS) is an obsessive addictive disorder in which a person becomes overly involved with the details of a celebrity’s personal and professional life. Psychologists have indicated that though many people obsess over film, television, sports, and music stars, the only common factor between them is that they are all figures in the public eye. (Wikipedia, 2017)
Continue reading below.
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Continued from above:
Okay, so here’s my dirty little secret: I think I have CWS. Yes, I admit it. I actually fall asleep at night wishing I were a gymnastics star—not just any gymnastic star, but a women’s champion uneven bar worker.
Ever since I was a little kid going through a multitude of adult psychological problems, imposed upon my by sick adults, I simply would go into my mind and make up gymnastics bar routines. It’s so damn gay that I can’t even believe I’m writing about it. The reason I am, though, is because this blog is called: Finding Authentic You. I certainly can’t find my authentic self unless I’m totally honest with myself, nor can you!
It starts from here: Truth!
Tonight as I was watching The Biggest Fan, I finally realized that the reason this show was so intriguing and I was so judgmental of these obsessed fans is because I was one of them—carefully masked and disguised as a spiritual guru. Yikes!
What do I do with this syndrome, now that I realize I actually have it?
Fortunately, for me, the syndrome doesn’t have to do with one particular person in general. It could be anyone that I admire who is a bars worker. I have about five I could think of right now. Yes, I know the names of all the gymnasts in the collegiate arena and in the Elite, as well. I know the names of some of the men, but interestingly enough, even though they are hot as any human being can be, I’m not as intrigued with the men’s work. Interesting for a gay man, right?
The women have always been the stars for me, ever since I ran scores for gymnastics meets when I was 7-10 years old. My mother was an auditor for gymnastics meets. She convinced me to run the scores from the judges to the accountants who tallied the scores of the competitors. in the 1960s, everything was done by hand. (Yes, I’m older than dirt. We actually had to write things down when I was a child, by hand, on paper, and have people run them to a person with a 10-key, manual calculator.)
As I watched my sisters compete, I realized I wanted to be a gymnast. I went to training camps and recognized men’s gymnastics events were much too difficult and that I’d never have the strength or the courage to do most of the apparatuses. So, I decided that this little gay boy would covet women gymnasts instead of playing with Barbie dolls in secret, which I did until I realized that Ken had no genitalia.
What does a person do when he or she discovers something that could be considered a habit, an obsession, or even a diagnosable disease? Seek help? Burn all of his Nastia Luikin pictures? Take the balance beam out of his back yard? Or just try to stop thinking about the obsession entirely?
I remember when I was very small, I used to listen to my dad and his friends hooting and hollering about football and sports. I always wished I could be as passionate about something as they, or have a diversion that could take my mind off of my little kid problems. That is exactly what I did. I created the perfect diversion, one that no one would suspect, one that would stay in my head only, and one that kept me from obsessing on things I couldn’t change in my little life.
When I look at it now from this perspective, I see that my CWS was more of a saving grace than going to therapy, which wasn’t an option then. However, with most problems, usually when you recognize them, it’s time to understand you no longer need the problem or addiction or obsession and begin titrating from that part of your life.
- When I would go to sleep and feel restless, I discovered that I went back to my trigger.
- When I was anxious, I would go back to my trigger.
- When I was bored, I would use my trigger to inspire me.
What does all of this add up to? Keeping myself from the Present Moment, the NOW!
You may be saying to yourself, I love my football and so what if I’m obsessed with the Steelers winning the Super Bowl? (Wow, I’m excited to have actually really gotten that team’s name correct.) What’s so wrong with being the world’s biggest fan of a sport? Billions of people do it every day.
Let me ask you this: Do you believe that every one of those billions of people are awakened spirits on a path toward self-enlightenment? If they are, should a sport be so important to him or her that this person neglects life to be a fan, spends 1000s of dollars on tickets to games that could be used on children, healthy food, activities or even charity?
I have no reason to judge, simply because I’m asking myself the same questions right now. All that I know right now is:
Every good thing in life is happening in this moment. If you can find yourself enjoying a game without obsessing about it before or after, you’re probably okay.
If you find yourself spending all of your extra cash on memorabilia, you may be over doing it. If your thinking about your CWS instead of the person you’re having sex with, yikes! If you spend time replaying football plays in your mind instead of doing your job or watching for traffic, I’d say you need to take a second look at your CWS (Celebrity Worship Syndrome).
You don’t hear this voice by reason or recognize it unless you spend time with yourself in silence, asking yourself important self-talk questions. This is like dating. You must get to know the voice of the Spirit by spending time in meditation and silence. This is the only I know to clearly download the power of wisdom and recognize the voice—IN TIMES OF TRAUMA—that is always directing YOU into safety!
Deciding on and living by your core values is a tenuous challenge. My many years of spiritual coaching and life coaching can help you with this. I have helped many people in this situation see light and overcome the darkness of the past. Give me a call: 954-253-6493. SKYPE sessions are available. http://www.bosebastian.com/client-praise/
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What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…
What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?
If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?
Create a Better Life with One Healing Session with Bo Sebastian
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Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. : ]