To decide if love can let anyone down, we must, first, examine what we call love. To the secure mind, love is pure, true, a deep connection that must be discovered and worked on. To the anxious mind, love can appear to be someone desiring us with great passion or someone who loves enough to take our heart, but doesn’t follow through with promises. For the avoidant heart love is something that is never to be obtained. It is, in varying degrees, approachable, but not precious enough to hold to and honor.
As you can see, our definition of love is generally defined by how we have been loved in the past. If our initial story of love with our parents or guardians was one of abandonment, we may see love as anyone who will stay around, even if we are mistreated. If our initial story of love was about never knowing if our parent would be home or available, we would see love as something that we want, but expect little from. If we had a secure base to begin with, we may see love more clearly than the rest of the 75% of the world who had rough beginning with parents and guardians. Still, no parent was perfect, so even the most secure person would still have an eschewed vision of the purest form of love.
Love, by spiritual definition, is what supports the foundations of the world. God, as the energy of Source, is Love. If love lets us down at any moment of any day, there would be no world, no firmament, and no humanity. So, Love in its truest essence cannot let anyone down. But what we have called love in the past, can certainly fail us in so many ways.
Perhaps, we should stop using the word love in intimate relationships, all together, because what most of us see in any relationship, including parents, doesn’t seem to resemble the love that upholds the world. Most human beings have come from a long line of emotional attachments that have turned sour with a change of mind, a change of heart, and a change of situation. To that, we attach the word love, inappropriately. You cannot be in any intimate relationship without having disappointment.
But, you see, love in its truest essence is always the same. So, to expect love from any human being would be to ask humans to be God personified. Even if we begin to understand that we live and move and breath as the Spirit of God on this earth, we can’t actually BE God, embodied. This would taking our spiritual truth to the extreme and would tilt the balance of any mind toward narcissism.
Ernest Holmes says this succinctly (concerning being like God or Love): “This is a far-reaching thought and should be carefully scrutinized. It is to be taken figuratively and not too literally, for we cannot really become God, but we can and do partake of the Divine Nature, and the Universal does personify Itself through man (and woman) in varying degrees, according to man’s receptivity to it.”
Perhaps, we should just consider that true love is the highest calling and not even Mother Teresa would consider herself a giver of the most divine form of love. Because at Love’s essence, it holds the highest degree of expectation. Let us seek to be love’s conduit, embrace it, and hold it dear, but let’s stop calling intimate relationships—love. At our very best, we are seekers of the nature of love, conduits of fragments of love, but always fall short of being Love personified.
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Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]
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