Can Self-Esteem Create Love?

Mary and Emil Krovich realized they couldn’t have children early on in their relationship. They lived in a rural steel mill town in Pennsylvania in a tiny home that had one spare room, which they knew would never be used as a nursery. They moved next to a large, Italian, Catholic home with six kids, a mother, father and a grandmother all living under the same roof.

I was one of the children in that large home, who sometimes seemed to get lost in the smattering of love that daily got doled out by Mom, because Dad didn’t think that was his job.

So, when Mom left Dad when I was in fourth grade, there was not even a dash of love left to hold on to—to carry to school in the morning—to get me through the taunting or the nasty kids who had nothing good to say about anyone, least likely the kid who played piano and tap danced with his four sisters.

But Mary Krovich took over where love took a train out of my life. She made sure that every day that I had a boost of self-esteem and the love that a child would need to get through a day of life. My brother and my sisters didn’t get the nurturing from Mary as I did, and each of them had their different problems, some worse than others. But, I somehow always ended up on my feet with a good sense of self-esteem and a knowledge of love and God. I believe it was because of Mary. And I’ll treasure her memories for the rest of my life.

Her sister Phyllis gave me one of Mary’s glass angels after Mary died. During one of my moves, one of the wings of the angel broke off. Soon after that, I had a vision of a large angel with one wing appear to me in the middle of the night.

The angel spoke ominously: “My name is Theoraphasz.”

I asked the angel what the name meant. The angel said that is meant: God speaks in the final days of human existence.

Then I asked the angel why it had only one wing. The angel said, “My child, it is because you have the other.”

I’ll never forget that dream, and I’ll never forget the glass angel that foretold the story of my spiritual journey from that day forward to now. I was led to bury that angel in a magical place at Bearsheba Mountain behind a waterfall at Blue Hole. (If you have never been to that Tennessee treasure, I highly recommend it.)

I have only seen two other people in that special place. And it just so happened that the other person I saw was a minister friend of mine whom I trust would never disturb the burial ground of that sacred angel.

As babies, we begin to develop neuro pathways from the moment we are born. Nurturing and loving from our parents creates pathways that eventually make for a safe journey in loving relationships. As we get older, if a parent or a teacher affords us the opportunity to have the courage to try an art, a sport, or something dynamically unusual—and then encourages us to give it everything we have, self-esteem develops.

We are not trying to develop robots on earth. We are trying to help children have the self-confidence to be themselves—whomever that is—with great respect and honor.

I was lucky to have a modicum of that in my formative years. As a result, now I can easily share with my clients and students that same right. I hope by reading this today, you help someone in your life be encouraged today.

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com.

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