Canvassing the Past! #anxiety #change #livingintheNOW

In traditional therapy, most people spend a lot of time digging up graves from the past, canvassing the surrounding areas for incriminating evidence as to who was responsible, and then allowing emotions to rise to be healed. I wonder if this old tradition is foolproof. How much of the past is worthy of our amazing present; and, by blaming others, can we honestly take control of our own lives?

Immersing yourself in a feeling is a good idea, WHEN it happens. But, wallowing in it may be the beginning of your demise. A healthy recollection of a moment or catching yourself in the middle of a PTSD trigger can actually help you train your neural pathways for different reactions. Reliving them over and over again cannot help change anything. Doing the latter, you will spend the next ten years in therapy and never move past your negative feelings and blame to take responsibility for your own life.

I speak from experience. I had been abused sexually, emotionally, and physically as a child. I was left by my mother at eight, lived with a raging and abusive alcoholic after that, and was abused sexually by two different men. For many years during therapy, I thought I would never be rid of the ugly, dirty shame that came up from all that went wrong in my past. Then I was introduced to New Thought Religion and, also, alternative therapies for PTSD, including hypnosis, parts therapy, and IFS (Internal Family Systems). All of these modalities and changing my religion helped me so much that I don’t even think about blame anymore. I take complete control of my life now and don’t allow anyone in my life that will seek to control me or push me back into the darkness of my past.

All of you are smart enough to Google all of the above modalities, so I won’t bore you with the particulars of each therapies. I’ll simply say that if you have been spending your life canvassing your past to find cause and blame, you will be digging up graves for the rest of your life. Everything in your past was for a purpose, even the ugliest of moments.

We grew. We matured. We learned to gain strength in the face of distress. We are works of art because of the chiseling tool of the past. It’s time to look at your beautiful life in this moment and start from here to rebuild, take notice, or simply give some well deserved thanks to all that has happened to you to create this wonderfully unique individual.

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If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page ( and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and “being gay” defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: 

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Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]





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