Category: Addiction

What Is Reiki? Can it Help You?

I have a huge number of friends who are not only into Reiki, but are studying it, because of an awesome friend and teacher here in Ft. Lauderdale, Elise Oranges. “Reiki is a gentle and subtle method that combines meditation with light touch to reduce stress and increase calmness, self-love, peace, and healing,” Oranges says.

Elise believes strongly it relieves stress, helps you gain clarity cope with challenges. In my estimation and from my own experience with it, Reiki is very much like hypnosis, but as you go into a meditative state, the Reiki practitioner is moving your energy, specifically using the energies of the chakras to clear negativity and create an active flow of positive energy to and through each chakra.

This work is subtle. It is not massage. If you’re looking to have your muscles manipulated, Reiki is not for you. If you are looking to discover your own subtle energy flow and help a practitioner open you to a greater flow, this is the right modality for you.

Elise also has helped many people dealing with addiction to use their own healing energy, feel the presence of a higher power, and as a result, give reason to staying clean and sober. This is my favorite reason for admiring and adoring Elise’s work here in Ft. Lauderdale. If you live in the city or nearby, she has many classes, circles, and of course has private clients.

If you want to find a Reiki Practitioner near you, Click Here.

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Deciding on and living by your core values is a tenuous challenge. My many years of spiritual coaching and life coaching can help you with this. I have helped many people in this situation see light and overcome the darkness of the past. For more information and individual pricing or as a guest speaker, give me a call: 954-253-6493.

SKYPE sessions are available. Click here for more information.* * *

 

 

 

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Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Your New Story, Your New Life” with a pathway to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website or on Amazon. Thanks!

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Confessions of an Adulterer

No one would have guessed it was I, the one everyone honored and cherished. I was the best friend, not the good friend. I was the cheerleader and confident. I gave to the poor and sat tirelessly by the bedside of the sick. I made myself a pillar of the community and of the church. I was the father of the year. I wanted to appear unblemished, because underneath I was covered with the scabs of the past.

My story is an age-old one. You know it well. I got married to my childhood sweetheart just after college. We had three children, whom I cherish more than life. I have been married for almost twenty years now and I can’t imagine what it feels like to be single. I would never trade my life for anyone else’s in the world. In fact, I have been told many times in my life that I am truly blessed and lucky. I feel those attributes like a mantel I wear daily.

Pureness and security brought me to my thorn in the flesh. At night, when everyone slept, I slipped into the den and turned on my computer. Then I could imagine what my life would have been like had I been my gay neighbor, my coworker with all the one-night stands, or my sanctimonious preacher from my church who remains single to show his unwavering love for God.

In those late nights I would watch snippets of nude movies and Google things I could only put on an Incognito Window, because when I was finished, even the computer felt dirty. But it was there in my den, late in the evening, I realized that the only thing I hadn’t done in my life was cheat. I needed to feel the essence of being bad to be whole and complete, to be a real man. I wanted to experience being in the arms of another to know the truth that I held so blithely everyday. I needed the juxtaposition between my pure life and the depths of something so vastly not me that I ached inside for impurity.

What was once every week or two in the den, became every night in the den. I would forgo loving my wife, holding her for the two-dimensional stress of searching for the perfect stranger to defile me for the sake of my own humanity.

After careful consideration of all the ramifications of my actions, I went to Craigslist and read through the ads, carefully composing one of my own. I made a dummy e-mail, a pseudonym, I made sure that whatever windows that were open were erased from the memory of the computer. Then, one night long after my intention, I finally got the courage to post the ad.

It wasn’t what I expected I would do. I found myself looking for a man, instead of a woman. Perhaps, because I didn’t think it would be as bad to be with a man. Maybe it wasn’t quite the betrayal to my wife. It would be just play. A man could understand a one-night stand, where a woman would be vulnerable, I told myself. Maybe I would meet another married man and all would be solved.

I remembered the pornography I watched in the months prior. What was it about any of those situations that I wanted to try or would be capable of trying as scared as I was then? Yet, I posted my ad. I took a picture of myself from the shoulders down. I said in the ad that I had to stay anonymous, and wanted to have a fling with a man, but wasn’t out.

A few men answered. Some disgusting. Some more lewd than I could imagine being. But one man stood out—beautiful and sexy. I could tell by his return email to me, he had some depth. I seriously didn’t expect him to be the man I met. He was warm and kind and passionate and more intelligent than almost anyone I had ever met. When I left his house, I found that I had to have more of him. Not just so much more the sex. I wanted to see him again. I pursued him like an anxious, hungry dog.

What he thought was a one-afternoon fling, ended up being a man captured by the grips of unbridled, unrequited lust. After a month of changing my work schedule almost every day, lying to my boss, lying to my wife about staying late at work, and meeting this man almost everyday, I actually fell in love with this man.

What do I do now? I think about him all the time. I wish I had not gotten married and had children, so I can play out the life we could have had together. He is my soul mate and my one true love whom I never expected to meet in my lifetime. A man, nonetheless. The only man I had ever been with.

When my wife went to sleep one evening, I snuck out to his house, because the only thing I hadn’t experienced was spending the night with him. I knew I couldn’t stay the entire evening, but I wanted to hold him and sleep in his arms for just a few hours to see what it would feel like.

When I got home that evening, my wife and my son were up. He had been sick with the stomach flu for hours. My wife asked me where I was. She had been calling me on my cell phone. I had left my phone on the desk by the computer.

I came up with an alibi about feeling antsy and wanting to take a drive listening to loud music, and didn’t want to wake anyone up. She believed me. She had no reason not to. We tended to my child together. I apologized profusely for not being there. Her focus was on my son, fortunately for me.

The next day I broke it off with him.

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day. If you are looking to enter the RSS or Atom Feed, you have to go to the home page of the blog to get there. Also, I write this Blog as a part of Finding Authentic You Ministries. If you would like to send an offering or a tithe, your donation would greatly be appreciated: 5001 Maywood Drive, Nashville, TN 37211.

And I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header.

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Practicing Deception—Coping with an Addict

When a person is an alcoholic, for example, and is trying to hide an addiction from associates, family, and friends, everyday he/she learns to become more and more adept at becoming deceptive. His/her behavior becomes intricately weaved into his/her addiction until even he/she can’t tell the difference between a cover-up and the truth.

If you have ever spent a day with an addict and didn’t know you were doing so, you may never know that the person is suffering from a behavior problem. But, if you are privy to the knowledge that this person is an addict, and then spend that same, exact day with the person, you can see signs all around him/her that point to the addiction.

I had an interesting talk with a friend today about this very subject. We were discussing how both of us have been fooled in the past by addictive behavior. She shared that there were signs all over the place that would reflect alcoholism in a past work associate. He had shaky hands. He sweated profusely under no signs of duress. And he consistently left early from work, apparently before the time he began to drink, which was early evening.

My friend is very bright and thought that her associate was showing signs of low blood sugar. This is actually the case when one is having DTs from alcohol. Low blood sure is one of the signs.

But her associate never even mentioned for an entire year—not once—about ever having a drink. So, being a rational, deductive person, my friend never assumed anything was out of the unordinary, until circumstances changed. When work started to enter into the path of the associate’s drinking, a problem started to erupt. When the he had to stay past the time he could endure not having a drink, he had a sudden breakdown and actually showed up drunk. So, after an entire year of working closely, it took that long for a very intelligent woman to see that her closest associate, whom she entrusted with large amounts of money and very expensive materials, was an alcoholic.

In my case it had been a couple of people. I once lived with a roommate in NYC who seemed like the nicest guy in the world. Until, one day I discovered that I was missing money. More than just once, chunks of money were gone from my wallet. Then my roommate, who had a good job, didn’t have the money to pay his portion of the rent. When confronted with the issue, he became belligerent. Of course, by that time, six months into the roommate situation, I realized there was a drug problem.

The other situation I had was a person I was dating. He was a binge cocaine addict. This kind of addiction is the hardest addiction to detect. When people can go months without using, then suddenly disappear and you can’t find them for three days, you know there is a serious problem. They often come clean and say they will never use again, but that is not the case. Binge addiction is addiction nonetheless and needs to be treated like common addiction. When this happens just weeks before you are planning to move together, it is even a worse problem.

Detecting deception when it comes to addiction is one of the hardest things that you can ever go through as a parent, a partner, or a friend. One thing you have to realize is that the addiction—the disease—is causing the deception and not the person who you love in your life. Still, that doesn’t make anything easier in the truth bearing and the putting up safety barriers around your self to protect from more lies and more deception.

Honestly, if I had it to do all over again, I would stay away from anyone who was in the midst of addiction if I could avoid it. Anyone who must bear this burden carries the toughest of heartache as they move through the selfishness and the lies to the last ditch efforts to have any relationship at all. Parents usually find themselves in this situation more than anyone. It’s much easier to leave in any other relationship. But parents tend to hold themselves responsible for the problem and stay until the child sometimes commits suicide or robs them blind. I have seen few kids come completely clean. Most parents have regretfully had to put distance between themselves and their children after numerous attempts to help and voluminous amounts of money spent on treatment.

Playing hardball doesn’t even begin to describe what you must do to take care of yourself and put a person on the road to recovery.

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day. If you are looking to enter the RSS or Atom Feed, you have to go to the home page of the blog to get there. Also, I write this Blog as a part of Finding Authentic You Ministries. If you would like to send an offering or a tithe, your donation would greatly be appreciated: 5001 Maywood Drive, Nashville, TN 37211.

And I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header.

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