I really had tried to convince myself that I was more securely attached than anxiously attached. But in the last few days—maybe because of Valentine’s day—I’ve been pining inside for true love again. UGGGGHH. Does it exist? Really? The dudes who seem interested never seem to call enough or ever. The waiting or wondering if you should call or text is exhausting.
Even though those thoughts run through my mind, I have signed up for two pretty safe dating sites and have answered ads to people from California, for godsakes. What the heck am I going to do with a computer-pal from San Diego, no matter how cute he is?
Do you remember that song that Bette Middler sang: “Spring can Really Hang You Up the Most”? I think I’m there in the middle of spring love sickness. God, my heart is just moaning for someone to wine and dine me, to buy me gifts, to be romantic with, to hold me like there is no tomorrow. And don’t get me started about the sexual urges. This must be seasonal, because I haven’t felt like this for a long time. And neither have the trees in my backyard.. lol
And the truth is, I know that there is no magic person that does all those things for anyone. I greatly remember the feeling of new love. It sweeps you away into oblivion for six months or so, then reality sets in, and you are caught in the place that love generally takes you to: lesson learning from the closest person in your life.
Am I ready for that? Are you ready for that? That’s what we should all be asking ourselves when we start pining away and swooning at the moon. “I’m ready anytime. If you take me, I’m ready to go. So, show the way to me. I am willing to be, ready to go. I seem to see Paris we’re on a lagoon. Atop the Acropolis we’re blue in the moon. I can swoon. We’re so blue in the moon.” From the Fantasticks when Matt and Luisa fall in love. I remember playing the part well. I almost fell in love with the young girl who played Luisa, just because I was so swept up in the love of the musical. And I’m gay. Go figure.
Love is tricky, friends. The feelings of loneliness are trickier. They tell us that we are not good enough, not pretty or handsome enough, not smart enough, not rich enough, and simply not prepared enough to have someone in our lives. But look around you at all the people who have partners. I can’t judge, but when you actually see what relationships are around you, do you really want one that looks like one of your neighbors?
I get the divine privilege of getting to see the worst in loving relationships. And let me tell you, what looks to be pretty on the outside is almost never what it seems. People work hard at relationships, especially when there are children involved. Add to that, two working parents, hand jobs, I mean hard jobs, troublesome children, a limousine service that has to drive the kids everywhere, and then taking care of basic needs like paying bills, cleaning the house, doing laundry, and cooking dinner. When is there time for making love in most families?
Okay, I’ve pretty much talked myself out of dating seriously right now. Talk to me tomorrow and we’ll see how I fare.
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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com.
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