Category: Pyschology

Loss of Sexual Desire – Part II

The Loss of Sexual Desire —Part II

It appears my first blog got some people a little angry. I really don’t mind that people have an opinion on what I write. I actually welcome it. Opinions are the first step to developing a good sense of boundaries. However, we also need to own our own opinions and realize that there is room for other ways of thinking, such as in religion and politics. Can any two people sit together and agree totally on those two things?

So, I see the biggest contention point that I had made yesterday was the point: does nonintimacy separate us in relationships. This is the paradigm that I don’t believe the readers yesterday were hearing that disagreed with me.

When one partner feels that he or she needs an intimate sexual relationship and the other doesn’t, the partnership has come to a great impass. I’m not saying that they can’t work through it, but anyone can see that a problem exists.

HOWEVER, If two people agree that no sex needs to be involved in their partnership, well, then, you have a perfectly fine agreement and marriage. Case over. Intimacy can come in many different packages for this kind of couple. It can come as an unexpected cup of coffee in bed one morning. Flowers for no reason. Cuddling together on the couch to watch a movie. Massaging each others shoulders. Simple care when the other is sick. Many people are satisfied with just that. And in this agreed situation, that is perfectly fine.

My contention was with the client who comes in and decides that he or she no longer can bear that the other partner isn’t interested in him or her sexually. What happens then? Does the relationship change? You bet.

If one partner is still thriving sexually, while the other isn’t. And the other partner has not desire to help fulfill the needs of that of sexually thriving partner, you have a big problem. I’ll tell you why.

What you may not see as the partner who is fulfilling all the other needs of the relationship, is that your partner is looking elsewhere now to fulfill sexual needs. It could start with porn and masturbation, then go to internet talk. But eventually, it will end up in affairs. This happens in epidemic proportions. If you don’t believe me, Google it and research the data yourself.

As a practitioner I have seen unfulfilled partner after unfulfilled partner wager his or her trust in relationship with his/her own intimate needs time and time again for the likes of a hint of intimacy after having been put on sexual hold for too long. You may not agree with it, but this exists.

If you are the partner that has stopped feeling sexual, I believe it would in your best interest to come to an understanding with your partner about his/her needs and how they are going to be taken care of. It’s not something that should be buried or not talked about. Trust me, if you bury it, it will kill the relationship. Or worse yet, keep the relationship going for years without you realizing that your partner is having a parallel life with someone else or lots of someone elses while he/she lives their perfectly normal life with you.

Can you honestly choose that for yourself? How authentic is that?

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I Haven’t Even Started Yet

I Haven’t Even Started Yet

I went to a Spiritual Friends group meeting today that meets once every second Monday. (You can find it on Facebook searching: Second Monday Spiritual Friends Network, if interested.) The group is filled with therapists, ministers, practitioners, and people who use healing modalities as their life work.

I sat with four people I didn’t know, which is unusual for me. They were all Jungian Psychiatrists, therapists, and life coaches. I certainly I had heard of Carl Jung, but I didn’t know a great deal about who he was and the foundation of his therapeutic work.

It happened that the talk today was on Jungian Psychology, which is why a few new people showed up to listen. We learned about something called “The Big Red Book.” I had definitely never heard of the book, which was first published in 2009. It is a publication of Jung’s diaries and drawings from 1913-1922, I believe.

Carl Jung was the first to talk about how dreams tell of our subconscious mind and used this information for cognitive therapy. He talked of things like “our shadow self” and “the anima and animus,” which is the feminine and masculine subconscious. He introduced our inner child. He talked of metaphor and a larger consciousness than the ego self. And he first spoke of what we now generally know as a collective consciousness.

I have spent many hours writing to you about a state of consciousness that is very telling of our psychological state—our compassionate observer self. When we are in this place, not only do we have a special point of view that sits outside of the ego, but many believe we also share a state of consciousness with all other beings in this place called the “collective consciousness.” This is how we can, perhaps, know when someone is about to telephone us, or we get information about the future before it happens. All of this information is said to be in this collective consciousness for all to share.

So, this being said, you don’t have to have a special gift to be blessed with ESP. You simply have to be practiced in the art of getting completely out of your ego self and into the subconscious observer self. The longer you spend time in this meditative place, the more aware you become of things you may never have been concerned about before in your life.

I entitled this blog, “I haven’t even started yet” because what I am beginning to understand is that, my work, and the work of the people that re around me is to collect the people that are on this path. We are about teaching people the way to consciousness that can protect us from any harm that may be coming our way in the future by projecting information into this collective consciousness for us to hear.

If you have been meditating and have a clear understanding of what may happen in the future (even if it is on a subconscious level), you will be more apt to avoid what will harm you. Maybe this is the way Spirit is preparing us for a time when the world is prone to more corruption and cataclysmic earth changes of all kinds. This collective consciousness my be how we get protected from harm in the future—a pipeline, perhaps, for things to avoid. Who knows? But it certainly could be a viable possibility.

When I lived in New York and had a dream of a plane crashing into a building marked 666, this would have been explained by Carl Jung as a collective consciousness moment. I moved from NYC the next year subconsciously because of that dream. I had no idea that the dream would actually come true. But something in my heart led me away from what may have killed my partner had we stayed, who was working in the World Trade Center at that time.

I believe with all my heart that Spirit is trying to build a clear perceptive pathway for each us to communicate with this collective consciousness. It is time for you and I to get on board and learn to use that 90% of our brain that is not being used, perhaps, just for this reason and this reason alone.

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