Category: Safe Boundaries

Speaking Out for Your Soul’s Survival! The Big Picture…

You can’t turn on the news or look at Social Media without an onslaught of posts about Sexual Abuse #metoo confronting you. I wonder about the big picture.

For an example, when we think of the mutilation of African women so that men can enslave and brand them, this news disturbs the deepest part of our being. Why? Is it just that we have compassion. Or has this news invoked a feeling of insecurity and being unsafe for you?

Picture of a woman tortured in Uganda

My guess these kinds of stories about anyone (animals included) cause an equal amount of both feelings—compassion and empathy for our own need for security. However, when droves of men and women (mostly women) gather together to find strength to speak out against the male majority running the country, who have tried to enslave women and take away rights from any minorities, even in notably free country such as the United States, we must look a little deeper to see the real cause and the rush to speak out!

When I think of what the ultimate feeling of happiness would feel like, I imagine having the physical things I need to feel comfort, having loved ones, but most importantly I would need to feel an underlying feeling of peace and safety. No one can feel truly happy or joyful without feeling safe. This would be like having the largest diamond in the world, but having to live in a vault with the diamond, always afraid that someone will rob you of your valuables and your intrinsic value. But are our valuables material things?

When we dig deeper, we find that most of our own lives and the majority of the people we know have never had a solid foundation of security.

I review my own childhood and see this clearly. I don’t have to dig too deeply to see that my greatest prayer is always to experience peace and for my husband and family to feel secure their own lives. I pray for this because I know there is no true joy without security.

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I recently spoke with a very famous man who had everything he desired in the material world, but had absolutely no peace. He had sacrificed his entire life for wealth and fame and never once thought about the toll it had taken on his and his family’s lives. After he had decided to retire a few weeks back, he looked like an entirely different human being—a smile, weight loss, a ruddy color in his skin, and most importantly a glimmer of peace in his eyes.

I asked him how he felt about leaving the material world that had supported him for so long. His answer was met with unexpected tears. He said, “I pray everyday that I will find what really makes me happy and will bring me peace. I don’t have this… Not yet. But, I now know that I am going in the right direction.”

This man’s story speaks of finding peace as his primary goal. Underneath his cries and our cries for truth, transparency, power, human and animal rights, we feel an underlying need to know with the deepest sense of our authentic self that we are Safe—safe from terrorists, safe from Super Egos, safe from governmental mistakes, safe from narcissistic choices that affect everyone of our lives, especially those who are much less fortunate than we are.

When you prepare your signs for your next protest or support a loved one who is speaking out about being treated unfairly, say a quick prayer that whoever is marching, being interviewed, speaking out finds the peace he or she searches for!


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Why Do Our Closest Friends Hurt Us the Most?

You’ve heard that “no good deed goes unpunished.” What you haven’t heard is that “no great relationship or friendship goes unpunished.”

People often feel that when they meet a long lost soulmate that they will forever be in bliss with them as they share the most dynamic parts of their hearts, sorrows, and joys. However, it’s these same emotions that are often used when two great people in relationship find something disparaging between them to separate their two physical human bodies.

I know that nothing can separate our hearts from the love that we share in the One Mind of Spirit, but our humanness can sure look bleak in the midst of a harsh break up of a friendship that has lasted for a long time.

I write about this today, not because I have recently had this scenario play out  in my life, but because I have experienced this so many various times in my life. It seems that our human life oftentimes only have room for our attention to be on a specific amount of people. When it appears the load gets too heavy, a friend will often desert you or cause a rift to push you away; probably, because they are afraid you do not have the time you once had for him or her. I’m not actually certain of the why’s. I simply know it has happened numerous time.

In times past, I have grieved deeply about this phenomena. I don’t enjoy the break-up process. I feel it’s a waste of time and love to go through years of friendship with someone and suddenly never hear from that person again. I usually end up taking the responsibility and wondering what I did to make this separation happen.

Every time but once, though, I had gotten no response when I share my grief and dismay and no real understanding of why. In the past 20 years I have only had one person actually tell me why he left my life. Thank you, friend, for your courage.

The other so-called friends had not been so courageous, even though I had been at their side for so long. I have been dismissed without a word so many times now that I can’t even remember how many times this has happened. It’s no wonder we grieve these moments and then put up walls to keep us from forging new relationships that will hurt even worse.

Losing these old friendships is like experiencing a divorce. When these relationships crumble as if they had always been made of wet sand, you begin to wonder what constitutes relationship. Is anything forever? Does everything have a beginning and an end?

I had a dream last night of an old friend who had been in my life for so many years. She had always considering me her best friend, so much so that she would say it out loud at parties, embarrassing me around other friends that were equally important to me.

I sometimes felt this true camaraderie, but often felt the judgment of my other friends who literally detested her. I often would have ten people not show up to a gathering just because I invited this particular “best” friend. I would have to say that she is the only person in my life that I had actively sought to dismiss from my life after she uninvited me to a Super Bowl party because my friend that was tagging along with me was too over weight and would take up too much room in her house. Yes, it took a great deal of incidences like this to make me say, “Enough!”

I dreamed of this woman last night. We were friends again. Maybe she was actively trying to convince me in the dream that we “should” be friends again. I was thinking about letting go of my fear that she was still the mean-spirited person that I had remembered. The dream ended up with me going to her house and celebrating New Years with some of her friends.

As I usually go over my dreams with my husband when I get up each morning, I realized that this dream was simply putting to rest my human struggle with this past relationship and realizing, even after all of these years, there is still only one love that truly exists between any of us. That one love is God the Good. Maybe some friendships are more like candles that burn brightly for a while and then fizzle out.

If we settle in on this premise, we won’t grieve the parade of friends that come in and out of our lives for specific reasons or spiritual growth and stick with hold close those whom you have chosen to live with and be around each day.

I always feel fortunate to have a few close friends to me that nurture my life (nearby and far away). I also have those few friends from the past that will be there for a long time, even though we don’t talk as much any more.

But I have stopped grieving over what truly isn’t lost. No love and friendship is really gone, not in death, not in separation. Separation only exists in our thoughts. If we imagine that separation is an impossibility in the One Mind of God, we will never have to experience the loss for friendships past or present, in death or in life.

I hope this helps someone today.

Lots of love,



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How Can You Be Grateful in a Time of Crisis?

In a time when most of our lives are filled with fear of ISIS and some kind of natural disaster, I hope you take time to be grateful for all of the wonder and plentitude in your lives. Make a practice of beginning everyday with gratefulness. Spend 10 minutes thinking of everything possible to be thankful for.

What we do when we fill our mind with gratitude is replace the negative, cognitive response to the overwhelming surge of negativity around us. We can’t turn on the television or the computer without being inundated with negativity. The world is a negative place to be dwelling at this time. Let’s face our reality.

We are Spirits living in human form. We are here on this Earth for a reason. We may be learning some amazing lessons; however, we are on this Earth to be shining the light of God that is within each of us. This light is not just in some of us. It’s in all of us.

When you hear of someone from ISIS creating a mass murder plot, this is a time to pray for the people who are tragically being pulled into this negative vortex from abuse, misfortune, and quite probably rejection on many levels. This is a time to thank God for the light that shines into the darkness for all negativity to come to the light to be healed.

Yes, it is a time to grieve the death and sacrifice of blessed lives. But, let’s face it, unless you or someone you know has been directly affected by this negativity, it impacts your life on a mental level only. Though we are inclined to feel guilt about NOT taking time to grieve some of these personal losses`, would it be better for our minds—the breeding ground for all the seeds sown in our consciousness—to make a mental picture that can support the light that is within us?  Could we challenge ourselves to find something powerful and good to see in every terrible situation?

This is a must. If we let into my mind all of the negativity of the world, each of us would be a miserable, depressive person. Your body and mind need to make some sense of the world around you. The only way you can do this is to create reason from the Light and Truth that you know.

For instance, we know that there is only one Mind. This Mind is in me and is in you. This Mind has created all, even the perceived people who have forced our thoughts toward a negative place. Yes, this negative person has had choices. In the end, the person chose negativity.

However, often this negativity results in the outpouring of compassion and love, creating our heroes. If not for poverty and the impoverished, we would not have a Mother Theresa. Would it not be for segregation and prejudice, we would not have a Martin Luther King, Jr.

We have our heroes because of the darkness. These people have taken the negative and have stepped forward to create positivity out of the dust of negativity. 

This is the kind of person we all want to be. We don’t want to watch the news and become fearful, adding extra padlocks to our doors and reinforcements to our windows in case of another hurricane. Though we want to protect ourselves and our families from any undo harm, we also want to keep our minds and hearts positive. This is a time when it is imperative that we stand firm on the Truth of Spirit God!

There is none other in all of the Universes than this One Mind, this creative source that is working together for the good of all, taking the bad circumstances and turning them into paths of light for each of us walk.




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