Counting on Technology More than Friendship

In the past three days, I have not received two very important text messages that contributed to misunderstandings and a couple of days of energy lost. Ultimately, I wonder if all of us are basing too much of our lives on the technological acumen of cell phones and computers and not enough on our own spoken word!

After six text messages in which I thought a friend was joking with me, I finally got a call last night with a distraught voice asking, “Do you have a few minutes to talk?”

When my dear friend and I began the discussion, he shared with me how disappointed he was with me, and my reactions to him the entire day. Almost aghast, I laughed. (Again, I thought he was joking.) Honestly, this was a total comedy of errors, until we realized that I had never received a text message he sent the past evening, which held important information that I couldn’t and didn’t respond to. In return I sent him a screenshot of my phone’s missing message that hinged on the entire day of misunderstanding, so he could see that sometimes text messages just don’t get delivered. (Two hours later, after our conversation, he sent me another text message that told me he had JUST received the message I sent with the screenshot.)

When we finally sorted out all of the misunderstanding resulting from the missing text, I realized that had we taken this conversation to the phone and conversed, none of this would have happened. My point here is: Text messaging is awesome for small and concise answers to direct questions. But texting and emails are not appropriate for conversations that require an immediate answer and hold the capability of losing vital energy.

My litmus test for deciding whether to use text or my voice is this: If I hold my finger on the SEND button and immediately feel anxious or that I am losing energy in waiting for an “expected” response, then I am texting instead of using my voice to share information.

Our voices hold our passion and our intent. Unless you are an incredible writer and also a soothsayer who knows how people will react to what you write, a text message will never replace your voice. I’m certainly glad of that. I know that if my friend had waited to call me with his important information, I would have understood the immediacy with which he needed my support. I would have reacted in a way that he deserved as a vital force in my life.

Secondly, I don’t know how responsible anyone could feel for something that she/he didn’t control at all (like a missing message). I apologized because it was the right thing to do. But, I also realized that the entire incident was based on a text message I never got. And my dear friend lost half of a day believing I didn’t respect his work and commitment to our project together. I never would want that.

So, I have to wonder that something higher was set in motion that neither him nor I could have changed. Yet, the one important aspect of all of this is the lesson learned from it: Call when your message is important! Don’t text!


This book is a story of never saying what you want or believe, until maybe it’s too late. This piece of Southern Literary Fiction will have you laughing and crying as the confusion of life, love, and crazy characters find their way into your heart. Go to Amazon!

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Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]



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