Defying Age? #aging #growingold

Painful signs happen as our pretty coifs slowly turn gray or white. Flags fly high on our skin as it sags or creases deep into the recesses of our eyes and laugh lines. Our memories fail like overused hard drives. And our surge to live diminishes like batteries losing their charge. What’s the secret to growing old gracefully?

One of the hardest aspects of life is either growing older or watching someone we love grow older. I remember viewing a picture of myself laugh. Around my eyes were 10 creases in my skin. I immediately went to an aesthetician and began getting facials and skin peels, until I couldn’t see the wrinkles. I didn’t want to age. Worse yet, I didn’t want anyone else to see me age. Then, one awful day recently, I became allergic around my eyes to every skin product I tried. Alas, I will have puffy eyes for the rest of my life! God, I was mortified.

I’ve had friends tell me that they have earned every gray hair and wrinkle. Well, I’ll take the credit for having weathered the storm, but I don’t want to APPEAR WEATHERED! We can leave that for those sun worshippers on South Beach who are too burnt and too old to be tanning or wearing G-strings. Time and place, people!

Today, I brought my 81-year old mother home from the hospital after having her left carotid artery cleared of plaque build-up. Three years ago she had a triple bypass. Five years ago, almost to the day, she had a colon resection. Each time, I see her lay in that hospital bed, wan, helpless, cut from head to toe, and unable to do for herself, I see my own ephemeral life passing by. Aging is hard to face, but change and getting older happens every moment of every day. I can’t avoid the inevitable anymore.

So, today, I won’t color my hair or get another skin treatment, as I know my lesson is to be auspiciously aware of the demise of my mind and body. The sages of old had a meditation exercise in which you imagine yourself getting older, dying, and then merging back with the earth. I believe, the exercise is to help us recognize the reality of the human existence. Eckhart Tolle calls this existence the Pain Body, as this is where our Egos experience discomfort, aging, and the resistance to peace and spiritual awareness. I don’t believe this means to abuse your body with bad food and no exercise. I simply feel that no matter how much you do to preserve the body, you can’t avoid age.

Today, I’m thankful for my 53 years and quite comfortable in my skin. I bought a fancy new hat last week. I look like a picture of my dad in it, especially when I’m on the arm of a 33 year old. I envy many things in life, but youth is not one of them. I don’t want to go through the hard times again to the get to this place of contentment and peace. I guess, watching youth pass us by is part of releasing from the resistance to homeostasis. We can get facelifts, chest lifts, tummy tucks, and derma-whatevers, but everyone knows how old you are. You are not fooling anyone, especially yourself. With age comes wisdom and peace. Enjoy it while you can, as, soon, it will be over. Next month, you may be saying what my father said on his deathbed, “If I would have only known…”


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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

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