Ever since I was a young man in my twenties, I have had countless single, beautiful girlfriends who were chronically single or were in pesky, bad relationships. None of them could seem to break the mold. One relationship followed the next—different guy, same infection.
After twenty years of sage gay advice, I decided to write my book, “Your Gay Friend’s Guide to Understanding Men.” The interesting thing about what happened after I wrote the book is that almost all the girlfriends I used to hang out with, stopped hanging with me. Who replaced them were women and men who had relationships that were working. It almost was as if I was living the story to write the book. Then the examples kind of fled the scene. (Honestly, I never used a friend’s name or exact problem in the entire book. But I’m sure anyone could have found his/her story there, which could have caused the schism.)
Bad relationships can happen to anyone. Trust me, it isn’t just pretty, smart ladies who make mistakes. Though they tend to magnetize the men who are users, anybody can attract infectious relationships.
Let me define an infectious relationship:
- One that doesn’t have balance or equal say between the partners.
- One in which physical abuse is present.
- One in which only one person can speak from the heart, and the other has trouble communicating.
- One in which verbal abuse is present.
- One in which one is dominant and keeps the other repressed.
- One in which no romance is present.
- One in which the partners are having secret affairs.
- One in which one or both partners are addicts.
- One in which you are not the most important other person in your partner’s life.
The above are the bad infections—the ones that need therapy or dissemination—in other words, treatment.
Relationships that share their ups and downs, have tiffs and fights, but keep the integrity of the love and romance in tact are actually normal relationships. Some of these may need some counseling now and again, but that doesn’t mean that they won’t work in the long run.
If you are struggling to find a good relationship, one of the things that I suggest you look at most closely is this: Regard how the person you are dating …
(To Read the rest of this Blog, please click on the link below. Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and LifeCoach, available for private sessions to Quit Smoking, Lose Weight with the new Lap Band-Hypnosis, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334. www.blog2grow4spirit.com )
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