I’m fifty-three and for many years ministered in a Pentecostal church preaching against homosexuality, even passing out tracts on the street corners in NYC telling gays they would go to hell. What’s important to know was that, even though I preached against gays, I was still homosexual the entire time, as are many preachers and politicians fighting a loud battle against gay marriage and other bible rules and policies. I truly believed, then, that I would go to hell if I stepped over the sexual boundaries of my religious belief. I also believed that it was my duty to save those bound for hell doing the same sexual perversion as I was tempted to do. For this reason and this reason alone, I spoke out against gays and held my head up high, as I pushed down the supposed sin inside for a righteous life.
As I am a life coach today, I hear stories of men and women suffering severe depression, alcoholism, suicidal ideations, and drug addiction because of suppressed gay tendencies. Their recovery, generally, has to do with admission of the feelings they have kept deep inside, so that they can quit hiding and be loved for the authentic person they are. Coming out of the closet actually restores health to those wounded by religious law and rules.
I had a married client with one small child. My client suffered with alcoholism and drug addiction, trying to suppress his gay feelings. By the time he reached me, he had already left his home and moved into an apartment. He hadn’t even tried being with a man. He simply knew he couldn’t play the part of the loving husband when he and his wife hadn’t had sex but ten times in their entire fourteen years of marriage. What opened my eyes the most about this situation was his mother’s attitude. She would have rather seen my client miserable, addicted, and suicidal than leave his home and child. I have trouble believing she actually thought this through completely. Isn’t the idea of a parent to accept a child and love him/her for the authenticity and talents he/she brings to the world? Yet, this mother paled in her responsibility. What if one of the brothers in Duck Dynasty came out and married a black man? Would this same parent be as outspoken as he is now? I rather doubt it.
I noticed, though, that the evening that all of this news came out about Duck Dynasty, was the same day as New Mexico ruling in favor of gay marriage. Did the world news speak about New Mexico? No. They focused in on Duck Dynasty. I wonder if this was a ploy to move the attention to struggle instead of victory for the gays.
A few years ago, I also had a client who was a Pentecostal minister, Republican, and a Bush supporter who decided to come out. He didn’t change any of his political beliefs or religious beliefs. He simply admitted to himself he was gay and could never even want or desire a woman. He never had been married or even dated a woman. This man was in his late twenties. Again, his mother, also a Pentecostal woman, railed at him with words I can’t even write on my blog. I saw some of the text messages from her. She wished him dead, instead of being a sinning Sodomite. She felt he would be safer dead and in God’s hands than being a sinner.
So, you see, that belief about a certain religious idea runs deep in the veins of the person speaking, so much so that it outweighs reason and, obviously, current psychological data.
In the code of ethics for therapists, it is written that a therapist can’t push his/her religious beliefs into a session with a client. They can’t tell a client that being gay is against God’s law or try to turn that person into being straight. It is actually stated and written in the Code of Ethics. So, why are therapists still around getting away with this kind of behavior in the name of religion? Because the religious beliefs of a person can cause a client to seek out reformation from being gay.
I have had many clients, and even I sought out help to be “UNGAY.” Trust me, you can marry, have kids, force yourself into a “straight” paradigm, but you will never feel ungay. This is an impossibility. Talk to the hundreds of thousands who have gone through the therapy, only to continue to see men on the down low and men who have tried but never succeeded.
So, should we not allow this man his right to speak about his feelings? I’m not sure. I feel the more he rails against gays, the more people who are in the middle about supporting or denying gay rights, might realize that they have been fighting on the wrong side of the political battle. Extremism isn’t pretty. It is bigoted and biased. So, the more rational people who can see this and part from old beliefs, maybe, the better. I’m not convinced that no matter how popular this may on Duck Dynasty is that he will attract many followers by his demeaning and negative beliefs. Let’s have a little faith in human nature!
New Challenge: Go to Week 8 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” at www.Bosebastian.com
Look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!
Below is information that I will be sharing for about a month, as not every person on my list reads the blog every day. If you have already read it, just skip over it. Thanks for understanding.
A Year to CLEAR Challenge:
(Please Know: You Can Join Us At Any Point in the Year Challenge.)
The masses search outward for things that qualify them as a person, but I always go inward for that which quantifies me for greatness. At twenty-five I preached on street corners in NYC as an in-the-closet Pentecostal minister. One day I heard a still small voice say, ‘God cannot be contained in a book or a law or even in a religion. Dig deeper, reach further to find me, and you will find your authentic Self.’”
A Year to CLEAR Challenge!
The acronym CLEAR stands for (Compassionate, Loving, Enthusiastic, And Relationship-Ready). The goal of this project is to engulf readers in a weekly study that will transform them by removing blocks, promote self-growth, and give them wings to fly freely into daily life. Each week, by going to BoSebastian.com and choosing the Year to CLEAR Challenge tab, a new challenge or thought to provoke conversation, growth, and group functionality.
My vision is to make Finding Authentic You the book to have in your Kindle or on your computer. The book is a comprehensive look at growth—spiritually, mentally, and physically.
As a yoga teacher and student of the Ayurvedic tradition, I bring to the table understanding of physical challenges, the ability to overcome mental problems with Life & Health Coaching, as well as hypnotherapy, and expertise in meditation and spirituality as a minister.
The combination of all three in one book with an interactive connection to like-minded readers, for one year, is what makes this Year to CLEAR Challenge a must-do for every spiritual seeker.
The One-Year Approach to Change
No one believes he or she can change overnight. But success in change comes from the metaphors of nature. Seasonally, life changes all around us in nature. Finding Authentic You offers a gradual change perspective, looking at the triune aspects of change as in yoga: Body, Mind and Spirit.
Accessing the ability to change and finding yourself actually pursuing change must be a daily search, which I call getting to the “observer mind.”
In this frontal cortex of the brain we find the anatomy of change and the power to counter every negative trigger of the human process. The workings of Hypnosis, NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) are all positive actions to help the mind and body flow to a positive space for change.
Every aspect of FINDING AUTHENTIC YOU fulfills this constant need for diffusing the negative past and dreaming of a fulfilling future.
Step 1: Recognize That Change is Inevitable
Step 2: Release from Resistance to Change
Step 3: Understanding Change and Allow Spirit to Define It
Step 4: A History Lesson—About You
Step 5: Look at Your Past with Compassion
Step 6: Making a Strong Commitment to Change
Step 7: Dream Your Fabulous Future
Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One to Four Challenges:
TOOLS FOR CHANGE:
Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com
• My Latest Book: Finding Authentic You—7 Steps to Effective Change (800 page downloadable Kindle version)
• Introduction to Meditation
• Smoke Cessation mp3
• Weight Loss mp3
• Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3
• Insomnia mp3
• Eternal Om mp3
• Meditation Music mp3
• Guide to Meditation mp3
• Healing the Body mp3
• And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.
Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com
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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.
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Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!
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