Easter: Big Benefits with “Little” Passed #relationships #relationshipadvice #datingadvice
April 5, 2015
Relationship at any age is about give and take, isn’t it? How many people have you dated, kissed, casually had sex with, or even married who actually brought benefits into your life without dragging you into the “have-to’s” and “you’ve earned it’s?” Is it possible to derive human benefits from any relationship without the little, tiny “but-if’s?”
If you are in your twenties, you probably just blow off the guilt plays and move on to your next conquest. But, when you pass thirty-five or forty something happens to your mind that keeps considering this one looming question: What if this is the best I can do?
I’m not sure, but I think I’ve done more compromising than relating my entire life in both friendships, familial-, and intimate relationships. I’m ready to relate, to have fun, and bask in a little bliss without having to stop to cry a little about spilled milk. Honestly, I wish I had some of the bitch I had back when I was in my twenties. I knew I would find the perfect match, then. I didn’t worry about age and time ending before I had the chance to marry my soul mate. I’m not even sure I believe in soul mates anymore. I mean how can I be yours and you be mine, if we don’t even know each other? Right? How can any one person know another?
Once, I imagined that, at fifty, I would meet a guy who would take me back to my teens and give me back those amazing, tingling feelings that only happen when someone is too naïve to care what happens next. I actually thought I would be swept away just one last time. This time, though, the feelings would last forever. But, who believes in forever, anymore?
I’m not the kind of guy who falls in love forever. That is a reality. That is a cold hard fact. And facts are supposed to be true. So, why am I feeling like I just met my teenage crush, whom I’ve only known for a six weeks and, now, I can’t stop thinking about him. Already, I’ve started to make every couple of days about him—just him? Crazy, right? Is this a good thing? A benefit?
All my friends say, “Enjoy it while it lasts” or “Take it one day at a time and don’t worry,” actually knowing me more than I know myself. When I take their advice, I live in the NOW and experience bliss. I’m quite sure, I wouldn’t have had any of these amazing moments had I pondered the future or hung out in the what-if’s.
At this age, it’s the little things, really, that make a difference in relating. Can you let go of believing that this new person in your life is anything like someone you have related to in the past? Can you keep focus on the NOW? Can you take in every precious moment without forcing yourself to live in the torment of past relationships, rising like the Phoenix from the ashes?
You know, Easter is upon us. Today is the day we celebrate the resurrection of the Christ. In no uncertain terms, what was once dead is now alive, but in a spiritual way. I’d like to think that my newfound belief in relationship is the recapitulation of every human, traumatic relationship faux pas turned spiritual—maybe even a little Zen. This is the way I’m choosing to celebrate the triumph of Easter!
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