Falsely Accused: #rape #domesticabuse #falselyaccused
December 22, 2013
Many people inflict violent harm to others, businesses, and communities. Even the most heinous of those crimes must go to trial to be sure someone is rightly accused and convicted. This is a good thing. Have you ever spoken with someone who had been falsely accused, spent twenty years in a penitentiary with the violence and rape in prisons, then because of a new DNA test ended up released from prison? Imagine being that falsely accused person, or someone like Nelson Mandela or a person just doing his/her normal daily duties, who just so happened to look like a murderer. Or worse yet, being accused by a loved one out of vengeance for something such as domestic or sexual abuse. Moving through a trial and accusations is terrible to go through with anyone.
The one time I experienced a false allegation, first hand, was with a client. A husband and wife were filing for divorce. They had three children. The oldest of the children was a 16-year-old boy who became terribly angry at his father for stepping out on his mother with the father’s secretary. After listening to three months of violent fights between his parents, the young boy staged a sexual abuse case against his father. He told a friend’s parents his father had been abusing him. Of course, the friend’s parents brought him to the police station for protection and to tell his story to DCS.
When my client was called to the police station in the middle of the night after thinking her son had been missing for two hours, she was relieved and confused at the same time. Could this truly have happened under her roof? All signs actually pointed to the father not being guilty, but the proceedings went forward, with the father banned from the family until the ugly truth would come out.
After a polygraph test, the father was exonerated, and the child came clean to a counselor at the Department of Children Services. From what I know, the parents were never able to talk to the young boy about what really happened. I don’t believe the father, after four years, has had any kind of healthy relationship with his son.
Though the father wasn’t my client and had hurt the kids and their mother terribly by having an affair, my compassion still flowed toward him. The one time I had been accused of something I hadn’t done was one of the most painful times I had ever had to go through. Even my friends held me accountable until I was proven innocent. Even then, they remained suspicious and probably pulled away from my life, because, later, they became ashamed they hadn’t trusted me. This is not a win-win situation for anyone, even when you are exonerated.
But, my advice remains the same for anyone in this situation, no matter how severe the resistance or allegations are; be your authentic self. Don’t change in the face of someone else’s lies. Find ways to prove your innocence that may be out of the box. With me, I kept telling friends that I would love to get together with my accuser (and them) and talk it through. I had nothing to hide. When my accuser never came to the table; eventually, all of my friends and ministers decided the person making up the story wasn’t me. This process took almost a half a year of my life and lots of painful moment. I can’t imagine a Nelson Mandela story or someone being imprisoned falsely for a murder. These days false imprisonment happens less, because of DNA testing, but even then, you can be a part of a person’s daily life and have your DNA all over a home without being a perpetrator.
Life is difficult. But the law is even more tenuous when it’s up to the accused to find a fail-safe story with corroborating evidence to support one’s innocence. If you just happened to be alone the night of a murder and were watching television with no one knowing of your whereabouts, you are simply out of luck. With the dawn of cell phones and GPS information connected to the phones, just by making one phone call that night when you’re by yourself, can sometimes be the proof you need to show you were nowhere near the scene of the crime, especially if yourself cell phone remained in the on position all night.
I’m not so certain why I chose this subject this morning. It’s a Sunday near Christmas and my heart is thinking about false imprisonment. Maybe I need to do some self-inquiry on myself to understand where my metaphoric heart may be holding fast to a lie from the past. I know I always feel better when I question myself about my thoughts and action. My mind is connected to an intricate network of thoughts and patterns and attachments from my past, like a computer. If I understand the connections, I am most likely to be an observer of my actions than feel I AM my thoughts and actions. Being the observer is a much more powerful place to exist.
New Challenge: Go to Week 8 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” at www.Bosebastian.com
Look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!
Below is information that I will be sharing for about a month, as not every person on my list reads the blog every day. If you have already read it, just skip over it. Thanks for understanding.
A Year to CLEAR Challenge:
(Please Know: You Can Join Us At Any Point in the Year Challenge.)
The masses search outward for things that qualify them as a person, but I always go inward for that which quantifies me for greatness. At twenty-five I preached on street corners in NYC as an in-the-closet Pentecostal minister. One day I heard a still small voice say, ‘God cannot be contained in a book or a law or even in a religion. Dig deeper, reach further to find me, and you will find your authentic Self.’”
A Year to CLEAR Challenge!
The acronym CLEAR stands for (Compassionate, Loving, Enthusiastic, And Relationship-Ready). The goal of this project is to engulf readers in a weekly study that will transform them by removing blocks, promote self-growth, and give them wings to fly freely into daily life. Each week, by going to BoSebastian.com and choosing the Year to CLEAR Challenge tab, a new challenge or thought to provoke conversation, growth, and group functionality.
My vision is to make Finding Authentic You the book to have in your Kindle or on your computer. The book is a comprehensive look at growth—spiritually, mentally, and physically.
As a yoga teacher and student of the Ayurvedic tradition, I bring to the table understanding of physical challenges, the ability to overcome mental problems with Life & Health Coaching, as well as hypnotherapy, and expertise in meditation and spirituality as a minister.
The combination of all three in one book with an interactive connection to like-minded readers, for one year, is what makes this Year to CLEAR Challenge a must-do for every spiritual seeker.
The One-Year Approach to Change
No one believes he or she can change overnight. But success in change comes from the metaphors of nature. Seasonally, life changes all around us in nature. Finding Authentic You offers a gradual change perspective, looking at the triune aspects of change as in yoga: Body, Mind and Spirit.
Accessing the ability to change and finding yourself actually pursuing change must be a daily search, which I call getting to the “observer mind.”
In this frontal cortex of the brain we find the anatomy of change and the power to counter every negative trigger of the human process. The workings of Hypnosis, NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) are all positive actions to help the mind and body flow to a positive space for change.
Every aspect of FINDING AUTHENTIC YOU fulfills this constant need for diffusing the negative past and dreaming of a fulfilling future.
Step 1: Recognize That Change is Inevitable
Step 2: Release from Resistance to Change
Step 3: Understanding Change and Allow Spirit to Define It
Step 4: A History Lesson—About You
Step 5: Look at Your Past with Compassion
Step 6: Making a Strong Commitment to Change
Step 7: Dream Your Fabulous Future
Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One to Four Challenges:
TOOLS FOR CHANGE:
Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com
• My Latest Book: Finding Authentic You—7 Steps to Effective Change (800 page downloadable Kindle version)
• Introduction to Meditation
• Smoke Cessation mp3
• Weight Loss mp3
• Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3
• Insomnia mp3
• Eternal Om mp3
• Meditation Music mp3
• Guide to Meditation mp3
• Healing the Body mp3
• And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.
Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com
* * *
Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.
I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day. I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header.
Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!