Finders, Keepers: Love and Letting Go of Fear
February 14, 2017
Four score and 7 years ago I stood upon a rock and peered around me for the perfect place to bury my treasure. It was a glass angel from the lady who was literally my physical, earth angel as I grew up with violence and abuse all around me. Mary sheltered me as much as she could and edified me in so many ways that helped me become the adult I am today. When she died, all I tangibly had from her was this beautiful glass angel.
During a move—one of my 27 in my lifetime—the angel’s wing broke off. I tried to glue it, to no avail. In my heart I wanted to keep it, broken or not.
A greater idea came to mind when I found myself atop this huge, boulder in one of the most beautiful, secluded places I have ever been to in my life, Beersheba Springs. Few trails exist for the few visitors peppered on its banks, but when you go off the trail you see places that look as if they had been created by the gods. Where I stood, in that moment, was one of them.
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I had the angel carefully wrapped in my backpack. I felt as if my little piece of Mary was to take its rest in this perfect place of harmony and peace. Here I would always remember her, not in physical form, but as she was, a spiritual mentor, friend, and earth angel.
I write about this because I’m overwhelmed today about how complicated and intricately woven each day presents.
I take pleasure in knowing this bit of wisdom, because I realize that every step in this life is about adventure—not destiny. In that special moment of burying the angel, my life was about destiny, an ending place for the temporal and a beginning for the spiritual light Mary would continue to shine as I let her evolve and merge into my prayers and supplications. Everything has a beginning and an end.
What will you begin today? What will you let unfold in your life today that you have dreamed about, but not let fear stop?
It occurred to me, only days ago, that perhaps in the wonder of this same universal pull and secret delights of the gods that maybe my broken, glass angel had ended up in the hands of someone who needed to attain it, just as much as I need to bury it. Who would that person be? How would he or she be connected to me spiritually and why? What would that angel represent to him or her?
Have you ever wondered how many angels it takes to have you run into that one friend that you haven’t seen in 20 years on a beach across the country from you? Or how long it has taken for the perfect person to put up a sign in a window that actually gave you tangible direction in your life as you drove past the storefront?
How complicated are the interwoven spiritual threads of lives in this universe? How do we find each other and come upon treasures that seem to call our names?
One particular person comes to mind on Valentine’s Day that never let his dream slip away. He fantasized of someone like me for many years. He wanted a mate, a partner, a friend. He kept his heart pure and believed I would hear his call, even though it was difficult to believe when all of his friends and family told him he was a fool for believing in the intangible. But the truth is, everything begins in the mind, as a dream.
Even in his dismay of having to wait so long for his love, he still looked far and wide for that one person who would stand up and say, “I am the person you are looking for. Where have you been? I’ve been waiting too.”
He found me across the vast Atlantic Ocean—he in Dublin and I in South Florida. He reached out, began a conversation that would last long enough for us to realize that we were in love. Would it be worth a chance at authentic love and a life filled with that perfect match? We could only be courageous enough to try, for one of us to take the frightening step of flying thousands of miles to see.
From our friendship bloomed a working relationship, a spiritual relationship, a lifetime ally, a security blanket of truth and honesty, and most of all—a smile that launches my heart everyday. After a few visits and extended stays, we realized it was certainly worth it.
Here’s hoping this same courage of hope for you, my friends. I’m knowing that you can bury the old and step into the wonder of this vastly intricately woven and integrated universe of subjectivity long enough to make it real and tangible.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
You don’t get to this voice if reason or recognize it unless you spend time with yourself in silence, asking yourself important self-talk questions. This is like dating. You must get to know the voice of the Spirit by spending time in meditation and silence. This is the only I know to clearly download the power of wisdom and recognize the voice—IN TIMES OF TRAUMA—that is always directing YOU into safety!
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