Finding Resolve from My Insane Ego! #neuralpathways #psychology #anxiety #releasingthepast
May 24, 2015
Even the simplest of materials, broken down to its smallest ingredients is created from voluminous amounts of different combinations of atoms from the periodic chart. While most people generally go through life not even considering the combination of atoms that created milk; the majority of adults, however, wonder how certain insane thoughts came into existence in their own minds. Most of us wonder about what gave us the eschewed beliefs that have caused so much anxiety in our minds.
When you relive a thought over and over again in your mind hoping to come out with a better outcome, we define this as insanity. Yet, knowing this, we close our eyes to sleep and the scenario begins again. An answer occurred to me when I asked myself a very simple question: When was the first time that you remember feeling this powerful negative thought or emotion? As I went back into the recesses of my mind, I discovered a story I hadn’t remembered before, one that was hidden from my own consciousness.
Our minds are clever. When a thought is too painful, we have parts of our consciousness that protect us from that particular thought. This is why memories often come back in bits and pieces, especially painful ones that caused Post Traumatic Stress.
My particular thought came as I meditated quietly, asking for guidance about a circular thought of insecurity and abandonment that I often feel. I saw a vision of young boy—me—in a baseball dugout, anxious and angry about being forced to be there. My turn to bat was about to arrive. My heart raced and my stomach screamed out in pain, because I was never ready for that moment. No one had ever helped me practice, not even the coach. I was the kid who only got put in the line-up in the ninth inning when my team had no chance of losing.
In my dream, I would strikeout over and over again. But, the worst part of the dream was looking out into the bleachers for my remiss parents who never were a part of the crowd of supportive ones cheering in the bleachers. I was angry, abandoned, and left to support my own self at seven years old. At the end of the night, I walked home for one long, lonely mile in the dusk, alone, usually crying.
What I discovered in my dream was a sad scenario, yes. But, what excited me about this revelation was that I finally began to understand the impact of those moments as a child. As an adult, I can now help that young child inside of me to heal that feeling of abandonment, which wasn’t my fault at all. What a relief to know that the compound mixture of emotions that is now what I call insecurity, actually has a beginning.
As a chef, I know that if I can define all of the ingredients in a particular dish that I had tasted, I usually can come up with a recipe to create a similar result. So, too, knowing the ingredients of my circular thoughts, helped me to recreate a scenario that could finally be healed. I can now relieve those parts of my mind that seek to protect me from the painful inception of my insecurities—from their long appointed posts—and let the memory be healed.
Now, every time I feel insecure, I can talk to Bobby—my inner child—and tell him how precious and wonderful he is… was. I can share with him that, despite his feelings of being abandoned, he was not the cause of this pain. I can, also, assure my inner child that I—the adult—will never put him in a situation like the one from my childhood.
This is a start—a great start to heal the wounds of my insane ego. Yes, I know, with my deductive brain, that I am whole and complete, always, as a part of God. But, oftentimes, we all need to come out of our own ego bodies and minds long enough to treat the wounds of our past. This is my resolve and treatment for you:
“This is what I know. Spirit God is whole and complete, as am I, a part of this wonderful, loving creative energy we call Source. I’m thankful for this truth and for the Law of Creation. I’m knowing for myself and for anyone reading this that you, too, are whole and complete, right now. Nothing can add or subtract from the love that you are, wherever you are right at this moment. Feel this love in every part of your body and mind, seeking to enlighten and enliven you.
“I’m also knowing that anywhere in your ego mind that pain still exists as an effect from something in your past, that—in a time of divine inspiration and protection—you, too, will find the inception of your circular thinking, the story where the pain began. When you do find this story, you will also find the grace to forgive yourself, the people in your life who caused the feeling, and begin to walk on the awesome pathway to healing. I know this for you and for myself, right now, as I release this prayer to the Law. And so it is!
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Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]