Full Frontal or Just Back Side Up?

Since I have been single, I have taken to trying out a few dating sites. I started out with the more dating oriented ones (OkCupid and PlentyofFish and Match.com). After about two weeks, you really see that there are about 3 people that you may be compatible with and unless someone new signs up, you really get bored. With Match.com, I wouldn’t suggest spending the money. It was fairly worthless. There were men on that site who I know have been in relationship for years and haven’t even lived in Nashville for years. It is a scam.

Well back in my younger days, I was kind of addicted to the old kind of gay websites that roped you in with all these naked pictures. I would spend lots of time talking to people that were probably enigmas. I had to completely get off of the sites, because it had become an addiction, and happens to be one of the biggest growing addictions in the world today.

Some close friend, however, told me that one of the old ones that I used to haunt was kind of the go-to gay scene now, so I took a chance and signed up yesterday. Holy Shit!

So, I go to this site called Adam4adam.com and, Oh Jesus, it is filled with 90% crazies with butts in the air stretched wide open, full frontal, flowering blooms, and guys doing the nasty. And the profiles are wild. Most of the men want 3-ways, fetishes, sex now, then at the end, they say, and would be into relationships too… I’m thinking… REALLY!

What part of all of that first part means relationship—well, the kind of intimate, monogamous relationship I would be into? What are you telling the universe with that kind of crap all around you?

Honestly, I have not had sex since I broke up with Steve. I really don’t want to until I find someone who is worthy of having an adult relationship with. I’m just tired of making these pseudo-intimate commitments that end up in never really knowing the person, because if you have sex first you get ahead of knowing the authentic person inside the body you grow connected to. I’m sure that’s what happened with my ex.

I honestly don’t feel like I even know him at all at this point. When I hear of his lifestyle after we broke up, it’s as if he was hiding who he was the entire time we were together. It’s no wonder he wanted his own apartment. He needed to be who he really was. That’s understandable. Had I known there was a mystery person dying to get out for drugs, alcoholic binges, and one-night stands, I would have never suggested him moving in. But that’s my great mistake, that taught me to never be so naïve again.

But I do have to say that talking to these dudes on this Adam4adam.com if making me laugh. It is a lesson in life that I will hopefully be able to share in small doses with you. For instance, this man tonight who seemed very normal by his photo and profile, hit me up and asked to talk. He looked normal. Was dressed in a suit in his one photo. I thought he was a business-type person. He ended up being a nudist who wanted to have dinner nude at his home this evening. Lol–without even meeting first. OMG I’m sorry, but nakedness and food just don’t belong together.

Then I had a conversation with an African American man who said he remembered me from walking down the street one day five years ago. He said I smiled at him and my gaze went right through him. He wished, then, that he had gone up to me and said hello. He told himself that if he ever had the chance to meet me again, that he would. That is why he was contacting me tonight. Funny thing is, I remember the meeting. I just remembered seeing him around and was smiling to let him know that I remembered him. Funny how life works out. We just had a nice conversation about God and spirituality. He could end up a friend.

And yet another man contacted me today who was completely intrigued with hypnotherapy and wanted to know more about it. He was interested in about finding his authentic self. I hope he calls and follows up, though I know it is a long shot on these kinds of sites. But the truth is, you just never know.

Leading with your own authentic self, whether it be on the street with a stranger, or on a site that is completely out of your comfort zone, can lead you to a magical, spiritual moment that was designed perfectly for each person involved. I hope you will learn to lean into life instead of backing away from it, like this experience and find more genuine moments like the ones I had today.


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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com.

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