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Gaining Independence

When I was a child, I remember thinking that one day I would be out of the hell hole where I was raised and be able to exist in a place where I would get to freely choose what I could do and what could believe. No one would harm me anymore. I remember thinking that thought with fervor and strength.

I also remember studying every night and trying to be the best I could be, so that I would never have to work in the steel mill as my family did and those before me. In all of high school I only got one B in English as a Senior, because I was in the hospital and didn’t understand my assignment. All the rest were A’s. I was deliberate in my attempt to be independent. I knew that what I would need would be tools and brains to get out from under the regime of a hard hitting economy and a family tree of people who just never seemed to get anywhere but right where they were standing.

But when I left home, the ties and neural pathways in my brain of home stayed with me. They kept me bound for a long time after I left. Though I was free to be who I wanted to be, I acted as if I were still under the regime of the drunken task master and the abandoned young child. I tried to break loose, but the chains of the past were much stronger than I knew.

It was only years later, when I was thirty, when I faced the past that I truly found true independence. This moment in time was the hardest adventure I had ever faced in my life. Leaving home without a dime, getting superb grades, eating Ramen noodles and 19 cent tuna fish for every meal for weeks on end, moving to NYC by myself was nothing compared to facing the demons in my past.

I remember the day of my first therapy session. I was the last person on my therapist’s roster. I must have been, because I spent 3 hours with him—2 of them were spent crying as a baby. I had no idea what was hidden inside. And even more so, I had no idea that what had happen to me as a child was not normal. I remember one thing very clearly, the therapist saying, “You were a strong boy, Bo. So strong to have endured all that. You should be proud of yourself.”

I couldn’t imagine being proud of myself. I didn’t know what that feeling was. No one had ever been proud of me. I had graduated 3rd in my class, gotten awards, scholarships, been casts in shows and musicals, and never felt what proud felt like.

I do remember my first time. My cousin had died in a motor cycle accident. I was asked to sing for the funeral. It was my dad’s favorite nephew. After the funeral, my dad hugged me and said, “I’ve never been prouder of you, son!”

Something inside moved… shaked… quivered.  I didn’t think I needed my dad or anything he had to say or do. But there it was out in the open. And I was frozen.  I had sung hundreds of times and gotten standing ovations, and nothing ever made me feel what that moment made me feel. Proud.

The truth is, true independence takes time and work. But it also takes a village. You can work your entire life in therapy only to find that what you really need is to cry on your own mother’s lap for 45 minutes and tell her you need her. (I’ve done that when I had a terrible break up.) I realized she was the person I was crying over, not the man who abandoned me. She was the first person who left me feeling abandoned when I was eight years old. I needed her to help me get through that heartache. Fortunately, for me, she was willing to participate in the healing of my deep wound.

For this country’s Independence, many people had one vision to achieve. Independence for you may also take a village. Don’t be afraid to reach out and get help. If I can crawl out of that deep well of despair, you can too. I’ll believe in you, if you can’t believe in yourself. That’s why we’re all here together. Because we need each other to walk proudly and stand up independently.

When the red, white and blue flag flew proudly over America, it wasn’t just one person who gained independence. It was many. And so it is with our own independence. Sometimes it just takes a more than just you. Don’t be afraid to reach out and get help.

Please check out our Week 10 challenge below.
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New Challenge: Go to Week 10 of the “Year to CLEAR Challenge” at www.Bosebastian.com
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Look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!

Below is information that I will be sharing for about a month, as not every person on my list reads the blog every day. If you have already read it, just skip over it. Thanks for understanding.

A Year to CLEAR Challenge:
(Please Know: You Can Join Us At Any Point in the Year Challenge.)

The masses search outward for things that qualify them as a person, but I always go inward for that which quantifies me for greatness. At twenty-five I preached on street corners in NYC as an in-the-closet Pentecostal minister. One day I heard a still small voice say, ‘God cannot be contained in a book or a law or even in a religion. Dig deeper, reach further to find me, and you will find your authentic Self.’”

A Year to CLEAR Challenge!

The acronym CLEAR stands for (Compassionate, Loving, Enthusiastic, And Relationship-Ready). The goal of this project is to engulf readers in a weekly study that will transform them by removing blocks, promote self-growth, and give them wings to fly freely into daily life. Each week, by going to BoSebastian.com and choosing the Year to CLEAR Challenge tab, a new challenge or thought to provoke conversation, growth, and group functionality.

My vision is to make Finding Authentic You the book to have in your Kindle or on your computer. The book is a comprehensive look at growth—spiritually, mentally, and physically.

As a yoga teacher and student of the Ayurvedic tradition, I bring to the table understanding of physical challenges, the ability to overcome mental problems with Life & Health Coaching, as well as hypnotherapy, and expertise in meditation and spirituality as a minister.

The combination of all three in one book with an interactive connection to like-minded readers, for one year, is what makes this Year to CLEAR Challenge a must-do for every spiritual seeker.

The One-Year Approach to Change

No one believes he or she can change overnight. But success in change comes from the metaphors of nature. Seasonally, life changes all around us in nature. Finding Authentic You offers a gradual change perspective, looking at the triune aspects of change as in yoga: Body, Mind and Spirit.

Accessing the ability to change and finding yourself actually pursuing change must be a daily search, which I call getting to the “observer mind.”

In this frontal cortex of the brain we find the anatomy of change and the power to counter every negative trigger of the human process. The workings of Hypnosis, NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) are all positive actions to help the mind and body flow to a positive space for change.

Every aspect of FINDING AUTHENTIC YOU fulfills this constant need for diffusing the negative past and dreaming of a fulfilling future.

Step 1: Recognize That Change is Inevitable
Step 2: Release from Resistance to Change
Step 3: Understanding Change and Allow Spirit to Define It
Step 4: A History Lesson—About You
Step 5: Look at Your Past with Compassion
Step 6: Making a Strong Commitment to Change
Step 7: Dream Your Fabulous Future
Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One to Four Challenges:
TOOLS FOR CHANGE:
Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com

• My Latest Book: Finding Authentic You—7 Steps to Effective Change (800 page downloadable Kindle version)
• Introduction to Meditation
• Smoke Cessation mp3
• Weight Loss mp3
• Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3
• Insomnia mp3
• Eternal Om mp3
• Meditation Music mp3
• Guide to Meditation mp3
• Healing the Body mp3
• And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.
Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.

I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day. I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header.

Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!

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