Giving Up All Hope of Having a Better Past #releasethepast #livinginthenow
February 24, 2014
Gerald Jampolsky, MD, author of Forgiveness: The Greatest Healer of All, once said that “forgiveness is giving up all hopes of having a better past.” I have mourned many days about my past and wished that I had grown up with a better father, a mother who hadn’t left me with an abusive alcoholic, a brother who sexually abused me, but nothing I say or do will change the past. The best means of getting over my past is to try to understand why this path had been placed before me and learn all the lessons I can from it. The past will never change! It is mine for my lifetime.
I once dated a man who was a bit younger than I. (Okay he was about 15 years younger.) I was intrigued with him, because I met him at church, and he was talented and handsome. After about five dates he told me that he thought my past was too broken to go forward. He couldn’t see getting past the hurts of my past to have a healthy relationship. I have never been hurt more by anyone in my life, probably because that phrase was what I had been repeating to myself for a long time. Finally, someone said it aloud!
Hiding my past has never helped me forgive or move forward. Learning from it has, though. I know with absolute certainty that I could never be writing this blog today or my latest book if I hadn’t had the insights from getting over so much pain and abuse in my life. I feel like I have fallen off of many steep ski slopes, broken a few bones, and have come back to win the gold as of now. I won’t let anything from my past sever the ties of my present good. I make laws against it.
Also, I don’t have to carry my past around with me like heavy baggage. I can leave it at the doorstep and come into every new relationship in the present. Yes, who I am has been shaped by my past. But, I don’t need to share every story, every detail, and every fault for someone to be my dear friend.
Sometimes, bringing the past into the future or present is just too much garbage for others to handle. Perhaps, on the most intimate level, I may share a story that helps an intimate partner or friend understand why I have reacted poorly in a situation. But, why else would I need to bring my ten thousand ton treasure trove of negativity anywhere. The past is like the last ten years of taxes. You have to keep them incase you get audited, but you don’t have to look at them every day. I keep mine in a storage shed in a large black, weatherproof box. I don’t even want them in the same space as I am now.
Even my financial situation doesn’t have to come with me into the present. I can make new laws of prosperity and forge forward with new ideas and creative ways to make money. I don’t have to stick to any old plans, especially if they haven’t helped me attain my goals of security and peace.
Leave your past where it belongs—IN THE PAST!
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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.
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