Hate and Vitriol: #healingwounds

I believe we all know the definition of hate and have experienced on many levels in our lives. But, vitriol is one of those words that we hear, but don’t often know exactly what it means. The dictionary defines vitriol as cruel and bitter criticism.

Over the past weekend, I drove eight hours. Often, I’ll take an audio book to pass the time. I chose a book a life coach friend suggested, Changing the World. I was taken by the account of the author, Dain Heer, who wrote about his experience as a child. He spoke of being the only white boy in the ghetto. He wrote of being molested twice by relatives as a child. He shared how his self-hate and vitriol were paralyzing, to the point of considering suicide. Much of his account was the exact same story as my childhood. Most of my life, I imagined that I had been cruelly selected for this terrible fate. Yet, here he was speaking to millions about my childhood and sharing how he grew from this same place of paralysis.

I have to say that I was moved beyond normal emotion. I felt a hand reach down into my heart and pull up unhealed places from my past and bring them directly to the light. What most intrigued me about Dain’s story was how he processed the emotions of hate and vitriol. I’m going to say, beforehand, that you don’t have to believe his truth to be happy about his healing. But, his process was quite an amazing and different take on the past. I’d like to share it.

Dain believes in a spiritual growth course called Access Consciousness. Within that theory of belief, he suggests that spirits coming into human body have some say over whom becomes their parents and whom is connected to their reality while here on earth. (I know this can be a stretch for some readers. But, when you think about it: who really knows much about what happens in the spirit world and beyond? It’s all more of a guess and a gut feeling, when it comes down to what we believe spiritually.) So, say you can imagine that this reality is possible: You can—with God and other family members in spirit, decide who plays which roles in your life—like a casting director for a movie.

This would mean that when we get to earth, we have to create a human experience to change our spiritual or emotional belief. Possibly, this earth could be a school of sorts to helps liberate us from fear, negativity, and pain. So, even if I have experienced sexual abuse, on some level, I may chosen it to heal myself from self-hate. Also, as a collaborative effort in spirit, I wanted to give my abusers the chance to make a different choice, as well. (Wow! That is hard to swallow!)

However, when I decided I would open that door to take a peek at my past from this unusual perspective, I felt less and less like a victim. I felt more and more victorious about overcoming all the obstacles that were set before me.

Honestly, who really knows what and how spirits manifest and from where we began. But, the role of playing a victim for my entire life has not served me well up to this point in life. The victim mentality has only nurtured hate and vitriol.

I no longer want to accuse or point fingers at anyone from my past. It’s time for me to grow out of that old paradigm and into a healthier way of looking at life and my past. This is certainly a way for me to change my point of view and begin forgiving, so that my heart can heal completely.

Remember that hate and revenge is like a poison slowly killing the person who holds it in his/her heart.

Coming Up: I’ll be writing more about the power of our Co-Creative Minds!


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This book is a set of exercises to move you from past pain and hurt into a new spiritual and psychological paradigm that will change you inside and out. Come take this journey with me. Buy the book now!

[Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books helps people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE. Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle: ]



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