How Many Dates Does a Relationship Make? #relationshipadvice #dating #relationship
April 16, 2014
Most of us grew up with the idea that our lives should include a loving, intimate relationship or family to be complete and whole. For some, that simply means friends with benefits. For others that means extended families acting as surrogates for family. But, for most of the world, relationship means families and children and special homes connected to this dream of special love.
For me, I just wanted that one person to love me ‘til death do us part. The home and maybe the children would come later. However, finding that person has been a crapshoot in the dark—without dice. I have given much advice on finding the right person in relationship, but every word of every book about relationship should be rewritten to include this last piece of advice: Everything can be right in a relationship. You can love each other, respect each other, and want to grow together. But if two people are not on the same page (same state and city, place in spiritual growth, politically compatible, and even want to watch some of the same television shows), relationship may not work.
I have felt that absolutely everything was right in a relationship, and the next day someone broke up with me. I have felt in the past that I was being treated with respect and with special romance, when my partner was shacking up with someone else. People lie, cheat, and basically do what they want to keep their own sex lives and egos bolstered. They may even go undercover with special screen names and hunt the unexpected tryst on days you are away on business or completely busy. I had a friend who had a former lover invite scores of men to his home right after he would leave for work every day. This happened for five years before my friend found out about it. To this day, my friend feels as if this was his greatest love. “Love,” I say to him. “How in the hell could you have considered what you and he had as love? He cheated and lied for five years! How is that love?”
Perhaps, my opinion of love and my expectation of love needs to come down to a human level. I thought that the least I could expect of love was monogamy, trust, openness to relating in an intimate way, and respect. But, apparently, after dealing with so many dysfunctional relationships in my Life Coaching Business, I can really depend on relationship to be one thing: a changing organism that may turn into a monster unexpectedly at any moment or may be your securest base for intimacy.
So, let’s get real about your relationship. Are you happy in yours? If you aren’t, then why are you staying? Has it become too comfortable to leave? Are you too afraid that you want too much out of a relationship and will never get what you desire if you venture forth toward another? Are you afraid that it’s too late for new love for you because of age? Do you have less self-esteem than you have desire to change?
All of these answers are viable and reasonable. Except, aren’t we worth more than half of anything? I don’t want to have to give up the most important aspects of what I believe relationship could be. Do you?
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For much more information about finding out about the psychology of the human mind and being your authentic self, self-love, and self-esteem, check out my new book below. “Finding Authentic You” will answer many of the questions I propose above. The book also has many discoveries about health, both mental and physical, as well as spiritual discoveries to lead you to your highest and best! Thanks for being a part of my tribe and helping me make this book be a Bestseller.
* Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or http://bosebastian.com/Home_Page.php Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed. Please spread the word by liking the page or sharing this with your friends.