The question of how deep to look is for the person who consciously moves toward self-improvement. How often do we challenge ourselves with “self” work, and should we take a break from it to spread our wings into the perfect NOW?
When I feel as if I have come to a reprieve in my own psychological work—basically to come up from air—I tend to begin to stretch my arms out to search for other life in the universe. Most times I end up finding people who are on the same path as I, which only leads me to looking back at myself again. Eventually, I’ll get used to looking at my own faults and shortcomings without wanting to the crack the mirror in half.
I had a long talk with a friend last night about addiction and self-discovery. She had been in a 12-step program for five successful years and feels as if she doesn’t think about alcohol anymore to deal with her issues. However, she also goes to therapy every week and has a psychologist call her on her problems with transparency and truth. So, this kind of therapy can keep someone who deals with addiction on the mark. I’m thankful for that work she continues to do, because I know it will make a vast difference in the long run. But, our conversation veered off a bit about how much work is too deep and when do someone need to stop to smell the roses.
I’ve been in and out of therapy for almost 30 years now. Sometimes, the therapy just feels like it has a good ending. Other times, I feel as if I would stay one more day, I would suffocate. I’m absolutely certain, that if I would remain during the suffocation periods, I would probably do the best and deepest work, but often I didn’t have the courage, self-esteem, and strength to look that deep. So, I gave myself a much-needed reprieve from therapy and danced a little through life, mindless and carefree.
Even when you’re not in therapy, you continue to work on the issues that your therapist suggested. If you were self-aware enough to go to therapy, then you probably have the kind of mind that assesses and re-assesses everything you do and say. I started a psychological process called “self-inquiry” that involves asking myself questions about my own actions. I daily account for my decisions and choose better ones, when the choices I made aren’t good enough. This is like the program on our computer that runs in the background and doesn’t need our constant attention.
With that, I believe we should all allow ourselves the ability to stop watching every move we make under a careful, judgmental eye and take a break from trying so hard. If we are meant to receive love at all on this earth, then we must have our arms open to receive. You can’t be in a position to receive, when your own mind is constantly looking at your shortcomings. Today is a day to take a break and rest in the loving arms of Spirit!
Please check out my new book: “Learning Alone: The Love Song of the Anxiously Attached,” a look at life through relationship, particularly anxious attachment, and finding the courage to face life without a special love!
Also, A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.
* * *
Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.
Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.
Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]
- Betting on a Winner #addiction #datingaddicts
- Is Any Fact Completely True?