I share the following story, because most people don’t see that the ramifications of all of these new Immigration Bans and Laws do impact regular citizens like me, who have fallen in love with a person from another country.
My fiancé and I are in the final stages of emigrating (leaving his country) and immigrating (becoming a citizen of another nation) to the United States. It is a long and tiring road, an expensive one, and had I known what a difficult road legal immigration would be, I may not have chosen it.
When David and I met for the first time, David was visiting the U.S. on a visitor’s visa. After almost 2 years of relationship, moving toward marriage had always been a possibility. However, never in a million years did we realize how difficult it would be to legally immigrate. Emigration is no problem from a place like Ireland. (Russia, yes it would be!) But, not Ireland. The Irish are free people able to come and go and drink green beer with minimal laws keeping them from immigrating to another country.
Truth be told, when anyone falls in love or has a close relationship with someone, the last thing you think of is the problems you’ll face later if you decide what you have is a real commitment moving toward marriage.
Since our goal was marriage, we had to get a K-1 Visa. This is a visa that allows an emigrant to come to the U.S. for a period of 90 days in order to get married. If he or she fails to get legally married after that time period, that emigrant is no longer legally able to enter the country and get a green card. If, however, everything goes according to plan, David should be able to legally work in the U.S. soon after marriage. How long is soon? If our next waiting periods has anything to do with our last waiting periods, and if Republican, Right-Winged agenda and Trump have their way with gays in America, and if immigration becomes more difficult in the next three weeks, If,IF IF IF.. who in the hell knows!!!!
Continue reading below.
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Continued from above:
Just a few short years ago a friend of mine was bound for getting expelled from the U.S. because of a work Visa not being filed properly. However, he had been in the country and in a relationship with his boyfriend for three years. He didn’t want to leave the U.S., so he was forced to marry a woman for money to go through the legal system to stay here. This entailed moving to another city for almost a year, while he and his surrogate partner (“I’m Gay, Why Did I Marry a Woman?”) took every other weekend to see each other. Also, work was hard to get for cash for the illegal alien partner. So, the process of maintaining the partnership, the house, the relationship, primarily was on the shoulders of my good friend. Fortunately for both of them, they had the strong foundation of love to endure through the grueling process.
Now with gay marriage legal, the process of marrying someone from the same sex is the same as a straight person (we think). When David and I began our immigration process, we were told to get a lawyer. We were quoted legal costs from $5-10,000 total, not including travel. That cost seemed daunting to us, especially after I looked at all of the information available to us on the Internet about the process.
We decided to fill out the forms on our own, take a chance on our intelligence, and pay about 1/8 of that cost, which in the end actually was a good idea. I think.
We have our final Embassy Interview on March 6. Six to ten days after that day, David and I will finally be together again. It has been for 4 months since he had to move back to Ireland to finish the final papers. I’m thankful for the ease of using Facetime, Skype, WhatsApp and any other functioning way to speak face-to-face with someone on the Internet. In the final days of the process, you can’t touch your partner, but you can communicate, which is the foundation and basis of any great relationship.
I’m glad that I ended up with an Irishman, because the U.S. has a great relationship with Ireland. But what if I had fallen in love with a person from the seven countries intentionally trying to be banned from coming to the United States?
How united could we be then? Could any amount of love and commitment be strong enough?
You don’t get to this voice if reason or recognize it unless you spend time with yourself in silence, asking yourself important self-talk questions. This is like dating. You must get to know the voice of the Spirit by spending time in meditation and silence. This is the only I know to clearly download the power of wisdom and recognize the voice—IN TIMES OF TRAUMA—that is always directing YOU into safety!
Deciding on and living by your core values is a tenuous challenge. My many years of spiritual coaching and life coaching can help you with this. I have helped many people in this situation see light and overcome the darkness of the past. Give me a call: 954-253-6493. SKYPE sessions are available.
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Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books:
Coming soon, my partner David Menton and I are planning to start a Vlog with Vegetable Based enriched recipes from my plethora of fun and easy ways to make food taste amazing. Enjoy!
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