In Me, As Me, Is Me
November 14, 2014
Sometimes we wake up feeling so human that we can’t begin to believe that the “kingdom of God is within” us. Some days look bleak, overcast, and cold—much like our souls and bodies feel—a mirror perhaps into our human condition at the time. But who we are in Spirit never changes, no matter what our conditions appear to be. So, the only attribute of us that needs to switch gears is in our minds. We have to be able to see that God is in us, working as us on this earth for our experience to change from negative to positive.
I have been wrestling with this point of view for a few days. After many days of feeling on top of the world and that the universe was at my fingertips, I slipped in a malaise of fear and couldn’t seem to see my good no matter how many affirmations I whispered to myself. I will share my experience of getting back on the horse, as it were, so that you may be helped my own process of regaining my power in the face of negativity.
Most times, when we lose our power, we can go back in our minds and find a trigger that set us back a few steps. For me, it was one man who spoke to me as if I were a child, chastising me for something I didn’t even know I had done and didn’t have the tools to know I did something incorrectly. So, two things happened in that moment. I felt as if I was unprotected by God because I hadn’t been given the tools for the test, before the test was given. And a person, much like my father, triggered a PTSD moment for me about my dad’s abusive nature to me as a child.
After this encounter, I spent the first day in a daze. I lost all energy for anything in life, even parts of my life that had nothing to do with what happened. I walked around accusing people and pointing out flaws in things so that I couldn’t and wouldn’t look at my own self for answers. But, I did one truly wonderful thing, that, perhaps, I may not have done a year ago. I reached out to a friend, before I went completely AWOL (absent without leave) from my spiritual core.
This friend is a spiritual counselor and a wise man (thank you, David) because he didn’t buy into my story. He listened quietly to what happened and said, “Bo, you are not going to be helped by me encouraging you to believe your own negative story. However, I’m going to share some points of view from your story that might change how you look at it.”
He proceeded to share how the people in my life felt as they reacted to how I “acted out” after I had been triggered. Psychologically, he actually, switched my neural pathways into seeing a different perspective, which I needed in that moment. (People with PTSD sometimes have to use illogical patterning to switch off the old story, to gain right perspective. An example to help someone get out of a PTSD moment is to get them to count backward from 100 subtracting 3 every time. The therapeutic logic can be looked at, if you wish, in many sources on the Internet.)
Though it hurt to not have a friend encourage me with hugs and “you’re wonderful,” what my friend did was exactly what I needed in that moment. After I hung up with him, I began to take a mental assessment of what I was feeling, instead of avoiding my hurt. I reached into the locked vault of “you’re wrong and terrible for being wrong” to find that maybe admitting where I made mistakes was better than adjudicating them.
Then, I went one step further to notice that making a mistake is not sinful or horrible, but simply part of being human. I wasn’t a “bad boy” for being human. I simply fell short of my principles for a moment. When I assessed all of this, I began to affirm my oneness with God and Spirit again. I noticed, immediately, that my words did not return to me void. My consciousness began to accept the affirmations of my good because I ACCEPTED ME!
Then, when I began to feel like Bo again, I did a mental assessment of who I hurt the process, much like the 12-step programs. After I did my work, my clarity returned. I’m now able to see that God works in me, as me, and IS Me on this earth. I embrace who I am with power, as should you!
This book is a story of never saying what you want or believe, until maybe it’s too late. This piece of Southern Literary Fiction will have you laughing and crying as the confusion of life, love, and crazy characters find their way into your heart. Go to Amazon!
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Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.
Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]