Just How Well Do You Know Me? #relationshipadvice #johnmayer #gossip #hearsay
April 2, 2014
“It’s just the strangest thing. I’ve seen your face somewhere. An early evening dream, a past-life love affair. Do you know me at all?” John Mayer wrote, which I understand completely. That unwavering feeling wafts over me most days with some of my acquaintances or clients, but I never expect that emotion with close friends.
Last evening, while on Facebook, I saw an old friend I hadn’t spoken to for, at least, a couple of years. He was available in the chat function. I reached out and asked if we could get together for coffee. He surprised me and told me that his “good resources” told him that “I was dishonest and not a very noble person.” He also said, that as a result, we had nothing to talk about.
Of course, I responded with disbelief. I couldn’t understand why someone would share that I was dishonest. I don’t remember EVER telling a lie that would hurt or harm anyone. We all fudge the truth to protect people sometimes. But, lie to a friend about something important? That’s just not me at all, not even to protect feelings. I’m not, or have never been that person. So, you can imagine my disappointment with this so-called friend.
If you have had a friend treat you this way recently or in the past, repeat this to yourself a few times: “I am responsible for my own action and my own words only. I am, however, not responsible for what people think of! What someone else believes about me is his own business!”
I tried repeating my own affirmation a few times. I don’t believe I was depressed or had any kind of emotional trigger ignited. But, I do know, for sure, that life is full of times when friends simply disappoint us. This was one of them. Mostly acquaintances who aren’t privy to all our personal data, often, don’t live up to our expectations. As hard as we try to appease them, some times even close friends just must move on, without giving notice.
Once in a while, it’s okay to grieve those losses. If anything, my old now-blocked Facebook “friend” helped me understand that I still had some grief buried deep inside about other, closer friends who were led away from my life for no good reason. Like good gossip, someone said something to someone. I was completely left out of the loop. You would expect a good friend to confront you when he or she leaves your life. But, very often, people just don’t have the courage for the truth.
I pray almost every day this prayer: “I release and let go of all things that no longer serve my life. I am open and willing for peace!” Let us allow Spirit to release toxic friends from our lives. But, know that we are certainly free to grieve every last one of those people. Also, remember, not to burn bridges, because someday those people may end up back in our lives for a great purpose. Just not today.
* Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or http://bosebastian.com/Home_Page.php Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed. Please spread the word by liking the page or sharing this with your friends.
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