Learning to Breathe: Reaching Your Destiny with Patience

The plot thickens! Your dreams are on the horizon as obstacles mount. Everything that you have been waiting for is about to happen. It’s almost here. Do you begin to freak out and let fear take hold? Do you think, what if…? Or have you been #learning_to_breathe through the obstacles, your fearful thoughts, and continue to have faith in the plans you’ve created?

As you probably have already discovered in life, fretting over life’s obstacles are futile. Life fluctuates—constantly. Heraclitus of Ephesus (Greek: Ἡράκλειτος ὁ Ἐφέσιος,c.535 – c.475 BCE) was a pre-Socratic Greek philosopher says:

“The Only Thing That Is Constant Is Change -”

Life is not about homeostasis. Even when you try to provide stasis, for example, by regulating your home’s thermostat; the temperature still varies throughout the day.

Life is more like the ambient environment of your home. You can try to keep it warm, cool, safe, clean, uncluttered, and comfortable, but obstacles to this desire for homeostasis constantly exist.

When you walk into your home and dishes need to be done from yesterday, the kids have made the living room look like their personal playground, and clothes are overflowing from the hamper, how do you react?

Continue reading below.


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Continued from Above:

How you react to any change is usually a true indication how you will react in times of stress. You know that life is changing around you. You know that the house gets dirty and then you clean it. You know that you go grocery shopping and then the food gets eaten. This is the circle of everyone’s lives. Yet, when you open the door to find all of these changes happening at the same time, do you throw up your hands? Do you sit on the couch, turn on the television, pop open a bottle of wine, and hope all of it will magically go away?

Sometimes, yes. But usually you regain some energy, get up, and force yourself to wash the dishes. Suddenly, you think that you can get a couple of loads of laundry done while you cook that frozen pot of stew you left in the back of the freezer (because it’s the only thing left to eat). You get on the road to recovering from stress by dealing with the Now. Even so, you know in your mind that the exact same thing will happen the next week and the next and the next.

To this I say: Breathe. Just breathe. Then, breathe again.

Life doesn’t have to be about the consistent battle to catch up with the mundane. If you learn how to deal with the mundane struggles of life by breathing into the Now, you will be able to take on the greater challenges of life. I’ll explain.

The Buddha says:

If the problem can be solved why worry? If the problem cannot be solved, worrying will do you no good.

When you consider the above, you realize that life has a way of leading you to a destiny of its own choosing. You may be in the car driving with your foot to the gas pedal, but you do not know if you will get caught in traffic, have a fender bender, or if you’ll get to your destiny on time. All of these metaphoric life lessons are consistently showing all of us that we can only execute a certain amount of control over life. The rest of life is in the hands of the Universal Force (or whatever you want to call destiny).

It doesn’t matter what you believe about life, you cannot deny that life is what it is no matter how much we believe in our best and our good. Life often turns out as if we have done nothing to change it—as it should. This is true because:

The time when we should and could be planning and thinking about the result is when we metaphorically plan to sow the seeds of the future in our personal garden.

You can’t fret about a garden full of radishes if you let life make the decision of planting whatever it wanted your own garden.

You must be the gardener, the one planting the seeds, and the one with the expectation of what the harvest will be. Everything in life metaphorically suggests this.

We may not have control if it rains on our garden, but we can water the plants to save them from dying. If we carefully design our garden to provide for all of our needs, the best we can do is be caretakers. Being a caretaker means to take control over the weeds before they control you or overgrow the plants. When the plants are small and tender, keep them safe during those fragile time! When you design your garden you must give room for the plants that will grow larger than others, not wait until you have two watermelon plants taking over the smaller plants.

The point here is that we have some control over the planning of our lives. But after we do what we can in life, the rest is up to the universe. We don’t reach into the soil and grow the plants. The Universal Source does the growing. If this is truth, then the only real control we can and must take is over ourselves.

The only way I know to do this is to breathe. To let go of the tension, trust in the Now, and Breathe.

Yes, the answer is simplistic, but taking control over the one thing in life that you can control—YOUR BREATH—will lead you to the path of the peacemaker.

If you want to feel at peace in your life, if you want to not fret over what you can’t control, if you ultimately want to feel no stress about life, you must learn to be absolutely, unequivocally fine with the Now.


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Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]

You don’t get to this voice if reason or recognize it unless you spend time with yourself in silence, asking yourself important self-talk questions. This is like dating. You must get to know the voice of the Spirit by spending time in meditation and silence. This is the only I know to clearly download the power of wisdom and recognize the voice—IN TIMES OF TRAUMA—that is always directing YOU into safety!



Coming soon, my partner David Menton and I are planning to start a Vlog with Vegetable Based enriched recipes from my plethora of fun and easy ways to make food taste amazing. Enjoy!





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