Living Life with No Expectations! #livingNOW #expectation #noexpecation
February 21, 2015
Living life with a purpose—no problem. Getting rid of the past—starting to get easier every day. Spending time alone and in meditation—I actually look forward to it. Living life with no expectation—DAMN… I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to manage this one.
Managing your life without expectation is like living life without being codependent on God. I can’t believe how hard it is to learn the lesson to let go and release from the idea that I should have what I THINK I should have—not what is best for me—according to the perfect will of Spirit God. Early last week, my acting agent told me that I would probably have some SAG extra work (double time pay) this Saturday. On Thursday, I texted her and asked her if she had heard from the production company. She had not. I remembered the last two times I got this kind of work, I didn’t hear until well into the evening before. So, I kept my hopes high and the day free so that I would be available to work.
This morning, I woke up, checked my phone, and felt a grave let down when I had no response from the agent. In my mind, I realized I had already got the job and spent the money without any real confirmation the job was mine. My question is—and continues to be—how do I manage to stop living life before it actually happens?
A great therapist friend taught me about the neurological impulse of anxiousness as a result of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSD). Without delving too deeply into terms that you won’t understand, the impulse to feel anxious actually comes before your mind computes and deducts what happens to you in every situation.
So, in laymen’s terms, no matter how hard you try to NOT feel anxious about anything in life, if you have been stymied by a terrible incident in the past such as rape, abuse, abandonment, robbed at gun point, you will probably feel anxious the rest of your life, before you ever get the chance to see the issue clearly with your deductive side of the brain. So, knowing this, how can we begin to manage our anxiety?
What I do (and I’m not always successful) is start my day with affirmations and acclamations that confirm who I am, what I want to feel, and that God cannot reject Itself. Then, when an incident like yesterday happens, I confirm in my own mind, after the fact—because the anxiousness will come first—that I am okay, that Spirit God is in perfect control of my life, that the will of God never goes against my best interest, and that the NOW is waiting for me, as soon as I let go of my anxious feelings. When you do this, you mentally prepare yourself before your anxiety presents, which allows you to bolster your own will to live life free of anxiety. Eventually, you will understand that the anxiety is merely a human instinct that was there to protect you. Now, you simply must manage it like a hurt arm or high blood pressure.
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