Loving Someone Who Doesn’t Love You #relationship #relationshipsadvice #dating
February 27, 2015
“I’ll never love you as much as you love me,” was once said to a man who doted, romanticized, and practically worshipped a woman who could never love him back. He answered with compassion, “You don’t understand, precious one. The love I have for you is mine and mine alone. To feel your presence in my life brings great joy. My love has no expectations.” To that, the woman had no response, but to accept the situation.
When you listen to this story, you realize that our search for love is really a desire for a feeling, not a person, usually. And the feeling is ours to possess. If we have experienced love in the past, we may just want the feeling of a past relationship again, because loving someone felt joyful and wonderful at one time. When we begin to expect a return from love’s investment is when we experience pain and remorse. So, how is it possible to give unconditional love when reciprocity is usually a prerequisite, especially in romantic love?
I may have shared with you before that my mantra for the past year has been, “Relationships are what they are, not what I make of them!” When I speak this phrase as an affirmation, I begin to convince myself that love will unfold if it is there, in me, and hopefully in someone else.
However, I understand that what has been in my way for much of my life is the expectation that the trust and hope and security of an old eight-year relationship will somehow magically appear in the dating process of someone new. Every step of the way, as I date new people, I must realize that my movement toward love should stay steady, forward, and nonresistant. When someone shares that he is not ready for a relationship or would rather be friends, the relationship tells me what direction I need to go.
If I don’t listen and have already made up my mind about the relationship, I will grieve the loss of my dream, not the loss of the person. This is the most important fact to remember as you date, which ultimately leads to uncovering wounded parts of your tender heart.
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What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…
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Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]