Merging Business with Successful Relationships #relationshipadvice #businessandpleasure #drphil #homebusinesses #neurium
April 4, 2014
Dr. Phils says, “Interpersonal conflict often arises when one of two parties doesn’t feel valued, appreciated or respected.” I believe this can be the case when business mixes with pleasure in any kind of relationship, especially intimate ones and friendships.
I once was married to a man for eight years who worked from home as an artist, while I worked from home, as well. I took on the responsibility of being his art manager, as he was a great painter, but not such a good market manager. Suddenly, lines began to blur and our relationship was also a business. Looking back, I’m not sure if that was such a good idea to help him, but you do what you need to do to make relationships work. He, also, wasn’t so great at sharing responsibilities in the house. In many ways marriage can be like dealing with a business, especially where money is concerned. So, when one person does all the managing work such as cleaning, paying the bills and cooking, I guarantee that person will feel resentful and unheard.
In interpersonal friendships, lines blur when we invite friends into business situations. A good example of this is when a great friend asks you to take part in a home business adventures such as Amway, Avon, Travel International, Mary Kay, Neurium, energy drinks, telephone long distance plans, you name it. I think I’ve had an experience with a friend asking me to join all of the above. I, inevitably, have to stop a friend now in her tracks and say, “I have been down this road with a friend, and I really don’t want this to mess up our relationship. But, I can’t do this for you!”
With some really good friends, this was difficult. When up-line sponsors teach down-line sellers to get new people to buy into the business, they teach them business tricks. One of these tricks is to mention you have an “opportunity” you want to share, but not mention the name of the business. However, these tricks feel deceptive to friends when placed in situations that look as if they need reciprocity. For instance, a friend invites you to dinner. He pays. Then, mid-meal, he starts sharing about his new business venture that has made so many people money. You suddenly feel as if you must return the favor of dinner for listening to the speal, much like going on a “free” vacation, only to get roped into contracting for a vacation week to the Bahamas once a year.
Honestly, the hardest part of being in self-made business is having to place your friends in the position of helping you get your business or your art into the hands of people who will pay the bills. It’s just good marketing to start with the people who love and support you most to help spread the good news of your business. It’s sometimes demeaning and often brings self-loathing, though, to the business owner. I have known of many clients who have come to me with a loss of self-esteem because of so many refusals in a sales position, especially among friends and family. Salesmen have to have thick skin, but you don’t imagine that having a home business would require that same cavalier attitude.
I have always hated to market myself. But, I learned that if I was going to be in business for myself, then it was eminent that I get over the marketing part. Some friends walk away and feel offended when I talk about hypnosis or life coaching. Others asks and stay around, because they understand and want to support me. Anyone’s hope is that no one walks away when, for instance, you ask any them to take a look at your new book. You have spent almost three long years creating 650 pages of so much needed advice about relationships, spirituality, and health. At this point, you would give it away, if you could. But you have bills to pay too. So, the expectation is that people who love you will buy it, whether they will read it or not. I know, because I have a bookshelf and a drawer of music and literature I’ve bought and never used. Some I have tried. Others, I simply bought knowing I would never partake because of style or genre.
So, I’ve said all this to introduce you to that new book below, the one I shared about above, so useful to anyone on a journey for to a better you!
Link to Book
Finding Authentic You: With 365 Daily Discoveries & 7 Steps to Effective Change
I have to be honest with you. I used that age-old marketing scheme, just now, to make my point. So, how do you feel now that I have shared my business venture with you? Do you feel unscathed and happy to help? Or, do you feel as if you have been fooled into buying something you really don’t want or have the money for? The hope of any friend, is that you will help. No one wants to bother you and force you into anything. But with friendship, expectation follows, just the same as with your intimate partner not participating in something important to you.
My mom bought my book yesterday. She barely has the money for her medicine every month. But she insisted. She wanted to help me get the sales going. You don’t know how much that meant to me, because most people believe that others will help and simply move on from the situation without reaching out to help a friend make something big happen.
When a product goes viral like Taylor Swift or Topsy Turvy, usually, the reason is that more than a few friends realized that their friend’s product was awesome, so they shared it with other friends. Yes, the product must be wonderful and useful for this to happen. But the concept is the same for anything, which is why I have a load of unread book and unused CDs from friends who reached out for help.
Help a friend today realize his or her dream. You’ll feel better about creating your own dream as you do, I assure you.
* Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or BoSebastian.com Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed. Please spread the word by liking the page or sharing this with your friends.