My Mother, My Friend #mothersday #tributetomom
May 11, 2014
When I was seven years old, my mother sent me to the candy store. The summer before fourth grade, I came home from the store to a vacant house, my mother’s empty closet, and no mother for six long years. In the days following her departure, I had to face a father who discovered she had been having an affair with his best friend for eight years, who also had six kids. My angry and alcoholic father made life miserable for his six children and for anyone who didn’t hate his ex-best friend.
Needless to say, he turned all of us against my mother. Her plan to leave my father and then regain custody fell by the wayside. We were hard fisted into hanging up on my mother, if she called and, if she visited, he demanded that we slam the door in her face and call her a whore. The word mother takes on a different definition when you have no logical or rightful information to describe who should have been beside you in those formative years.
After my father became too abusive, all of the children had grown to teenagers. Each one of us, in our time, went back to visiting our mother on the lowdown. Eventually, when my father beat up my sister and me for spending 35 cents on a purple slush, I moved in with my mom. Getting to know her after six long years without her was difficult, to say the least. She lived in a one-bedroom apartment above my grandmother, so she and I slept in the same bed. You can imagine how uncomfortable that felt, until we had enough money for an apartment together. Of course, that meant taking my father to court to get alimony, which practically killed any chance of ever having a healthy relationship with him—ever.
My mother’s life was not as I expected. Eventually, she would gather most of the children with her, and I would become a son who barely saw her, hold her, and communicated with her, until I soon went off to college and she moved 800 miles away to Tucson, as I stayed back in Pittsburgh at Carnegie-Mellon. Another 20 years past, before we ever spent more than a week together. Suddenly, after the family scattering to all sides of the U.S., my mom and two sisters decided to make a huge change and move to Nashville to be near me.
In that move, I began to befriend my mother and learn about her—all the hard facts about why she left us, how she ached inside, and how much she cared about me, as she nurtured me through some very hard times in my life. So, when she asked if she could move into the attached apartment on my house 6 years ago, I said yes, even though I knew this would mean truly growing through some of my worst fears of abandonment and letting the most difficult challenges of my past surface, so that they would heal.
My mother went to therapy with me and discussed all of the most difficult issues of my life with me. She learned to love my life and my friends, when being gay wasn’t something in her purview. Now, she says she loves gay being better than straight people, which makes me laugh. During the time of my mother living with me, I’d have to say that something in my soul healed that could have never had a chance to see the light of day had I not said yes to the opportunity of a lifetime. God offered me the chance to remake and reshape one of the most important relationships in my life.
So, I thank you, God, and I thank you, Mom, for being there to help me find my authentic soul and gather the broken pieces of the past to find a whole, healthy human being ready for a steadfast future of much more love than I could ever imagine.
To this information, I freely add that in July, I am moving to Southern Florida to begin a new small imprint publishing company called: Finding Authentic You Publishing: findingauthenticyoupublishing.com. I am accepting submissions now for my January 2015 bookshelf. If you or any friends are interested, please go to the website and read the submission guidelines. Thanks.
Finding Authentic You is my brand and is also a self-help guide, which I wrote, with 365 Discoveries, meant to aid you in facilitating some of life’s most difficult challenges, like sleep. But, the discoveries also lead you to what you believe spiritually, understanding your goals, learning to believe in your self, discovering the most distinct you, unlocking all of your negative thinking, and helping you replace it with positive, creative thought using many different modalities, including hypnosis, prayer, and psychology. Once you know yourself, then relationship with Spirit and people is a fairly easy task.
For much more information about finding out about the psychology of the human mind and being your authentic self, self-love, and self-esteem, check out my new book below. “Finding Authentic You” will answer many of the questions I propose above. The book also has many discoveries about health, both mental and physical, as well as spiritual discoveries to lead you to your highest and best! Thanks for being a part of my tribe and helping me make this book be a Bestseller.
Finding Authentic You: With 365 Daily Discoveries & 7 Steps to Effective Change
* Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or http://bosebastian.com/Home_Page.php Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed. Please spread the word by liking the page or sharing this with your friends.