My Second Slap in the Face #sensorydefensiveness #migraines #spiritualadvice #perfume #cologne
February 22, 2016
Thirty years ago, a woman had been chasing me for about a month. She was a coworker and an associate where I worked, so it was hard not to interface with her daily. Eventually, she invited herself to my home for dinner. She brought a bottle of wine. When she got too drunk to drive, she asked if she could spend the night. After I tucked her into the guest bedroom, I went to my own room to sleep. Just as I closed my eyes, I heard a gentle knock on my door. Before I could get my clothes on, she invited herself into my room. She wore practically nothing, sat on top of me, and began to massage my neck and head. When I had to push her away. She slapped my face. She left the room and my house, obviously not too drunk, after all.
I share this story, because it is easy to know when you physically slap someone in the face, but far harder to know when you do so without any physical contact. I would say that almost once a week now someone, without physical contact, slaps me in the face. How is this so?
For a long time, the ability to wear cologne as a man or a woman was a right of passage into adulthood. I remember my first bottle of Brut. It stunk like hell, but I did not know that. I loved wearing it, everyday. I did not care who else had to smell the cheap fragrance. It was mine to wear. Or was it?
What people who wear cologne and perfume in large volumes do not realize is how much it affects those around them. It is as potent as cigarette smoke to a lot of people who are sensitive to smell and get migraines from being around people wearing large amounts of inorganic fragrance.
If any of those people ever had to suffer even four hours of a migraine, let alone a 3-day migraine, huddled up in dark bedroom, with ice packs on his or her head, just praying that the medicine he or she took would kick in long enough to sleep, they would consider just how much of an outright slap in the face cologne can be. These kinds of migraines are the result of me spending just 15 minutes in the car with someone who has just sprayed cologne before getting into my car.
For one month, around the Christmas holidays, when work was slow, I decided to see what it was like to become an Uber Driver. What I did not realize is that the only hinderance that would prevent me from enjoying the many lovely people I would meet was the inexhaustible amount of cologne and fragrance I would have to endure. I even kept a surgical facemask in the car, but my eyes would swell up, so it did little good.
The reason why some women and men wear so much cologne came from a friend who sang in a choir with me. She had to stand next to me on opening night, drenched in cologne. Since I had to sing, I had no choice but to confront the situation; otherwise, my throat would have closed up and a migraine would have soon followed in the middle of the show. I needed to move to another place. She told me, “We women have to spray enough cologne on to last for the entire night. It will wear off, otherwise. Don’t worry!”
Too late! I had a migraine for two days after that show.
I have to speak up and share. If you look at the content of your cologne or perfume and no organic oils are a part of the smell, you probably wear a toxic chemical that is going to give someone a very uncomfortable headache, if you have to stand next to, drive with, or sit with that person during the day.
If you are sensitive to cigarette smoke, think of this as a metaphor for the amount of impact your own physical smell with cologne or perfume affects those around you. No matter the expense of the cologne, toxic is simple toxic.
This year, if you desire to commit to a change for a New Year’s Resolution, do it with your MIND first. Remember, as in the title of my new book coming out just in time to help you with this (in March)… lol… that all change happens in your mind, first. You must change your Old Story, to make a consistent and long lasting change in Your Life.
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Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]