My Unhealthy Past Taught Me…

Today, I have been confronted with stories about my past. For example, someone wanted me to explain decisions I had made in an old relationship, reasons for exiting that relationship, and there were questions about post-break up and how to move on. I guess these questions are appropriate since my last blog was about putting away the past—completely.

With everything we put out into the universe,
we should expect the universe to bounce back a bit
and give you a healthy balance concerning
your view point and the your present Truth.

I thought it would be appropriate that I share what I learned since the last blog:

When you are confronted with stories about the past and questions that force you to put one hand back into the garbage can of your past, what kind of precautions should you take?


Talk about the past using the present to help you define it with the intention and Truth you embrace now—with no blame, no animosity, and certainly without regret!

The questions I was asked happened to be about one of the most tragic times in my life. My partner of 8 years had an affair with the partner before him, whom I was with for 7 years. The incident changed my life forever. Looking back at my life 12 years ago can only be described as watching a movie I had seen before, but waited 10 years to watch again.

When you are asked to unearth what is dead and gone, digging up the grave may be a difficult task if you covered the dead bodies with cement and buried it so deeply that it would take Cargo Shovels to unearth it. However, my past isn’t buried. What’s done is thrown away. However, what I learned from the past is written in my subconscious and easy to access at any moment. In fact, I even wrote a book about all of my relationship experiences that anyone may read called: Learning Alone.

Is it fun to reread this book about my past? Hell, no. Do I enjoy answering questions about it? Not always. Am I ashamed of my past? Absolutely not. Have I learned from my past? YOU BET!

The reason why I wrote the book was to resolve the past and make resolute decisions about my future. I didn’t want to relive any of the pain again. I wanted to see the large signs of problems and the tiny, almost-so-small ones that you have to wear bifocals to see them. I want to know all of it so well that I never… ever make the mistakes again.

For that reason, I can say that I didn’t fall prey to the many shadowy men I met in South Florida. I found someone who is my best friend, I can laugh with, play with, is my prayer partner, and spiritual equal. I can honestly say that because of my perspective of the past compared to my present Truth, I can chat about the past, take the story off of the bookshelf, read a few passages, and put it right back where it belongs—filed away.

The past doesn’t have to define you. But if you don’t resolve it and even write about what you learned, you do nothing but leave it in a garbage can that travels with you to every room you go.

What I neglected to write yesterday was this:

Never live from the past, but learn every lesson you can from it. If you have to write an essay about the lessons you learned and file it away for quick reference material, do it! You will be a better person for it.

Then throw the old point of view away, the hate, the animosity, and mostly the regret away forever! Amen.


Deciding on and living by your core values is a tenuous challenge. My many years of spiritual coaching and life coaching can help you with this. I have helped many people in this situation see light and overcome the darkness of the past. For more information and individual pricing or as a guest speaker, give me a call: 954-253-6493.

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