I believe that, when the bible shares a story, it can be absorbed by our souls on many levels. For the spiritual seeker, you may be able to create a larger metaphor relating to the human psyche. In the recreation of Jesus’ birth, the “Inn” in this story represents the Mind. When Joseph and Mary arrived at the Inn, no rooms were available. The Innkeeper (metaphorically, the subconscious – the keeper of the mind) found room for the pregnant mother and her husband in the stable with the animals.
To my mind, this wonderful version of the Christ story helps us realize one very important fact as we enter this holiday season: What are we NOT making room for in our minds?
This week’s Challenge 6 on the Year to CLEAR Challenge below is: “What you have in mind, will appear in your life—good or bad.” Are you thinking about a new job, but not creating space for it in your life? Have you taken the classes you need to be available for this new position? Have you had someone look at your resume and make sure you have done the best job representing yourself? All of the above choices lead you to make room in your mind for the positive shift of creative change.
Change only happens when you take steps forward to increase possibility and look for guidance from Spirit. If you want a relationship, what exactly do you do to find one? When I was single, I took some time to pray about exactly what I wanted in relationship. I read an amazing book that prepared my mind for the “right,” secure relationship. Attached. by Amir Levine is the perfect book on so many levels. Once I realized my heart was ready for a securely attached relationship, I had to make room for love.
If you spend every night working late, hanging out with friends, or taking care of pets, parents, or children, you don’t have room in your life for another relationship. If a glass is full of old wine, you must pour out the old to make room for the new wine. So, begin by looking at what relationships in your life are actually not benefiting you, this includes relationships to habits, work and friends. For instance, is the amount of time you spend at work really helping your health and social life? Can you find a way to leave two hours earlier and make room for a date once in a while?
The next action I took in finding right relationship was to go online and find a couple of dating sites that actually were about connecting two people wanting healthy relationships. If you go to a dating site that is just about hookups and casual dating, you might as well not participate, if what you want is a partner.
I posted a recent picture that looked like me. (Please don’t post pictures that are two years old because you are too heavy now and are embarrassed at any recent pictures with graying hair. If you attract someone to your profile with a misrepresentation of who you are now, you are doing yourself a big disservice, and also setting yourself up for rejection. Either wait to lose the weight, color you hair, and post a good picture of healthy you, or be proud of your extra weight and every gray hair.) Trust me, plenty of people are overweight and even more are graying. Some people even desire an overweight man and woman with gray hair. I think you may find some on silverfox.com.
The next action you must take is to reveal your authentic self in the biography section of these dating sites. Most people don’t take time to reveal something authentic and attractive about their character. This is paramount in finding right relationship, especially in the heterosexual and lesbian world. (I hate to say this, but I can because I’m gay. I think that more heterosexuals and lesbians are likely to look past physical characteristics and look for good, secure mental and social qualities, than gay men. Gay men have learned to act more from a sexual and sensual perspective than most other couples. This isn’t speculation. Ask 99 out of 100 gay men.) Yes, the people who actually look for a good person do read! If someone just looks at pictures, you are not likely to find secure relationship there, either.
Once you have done the legwork, then the rest is about letting God and Spirit lead you to the right person. I spent a lot of time looking at profiles and people. I sent a few letters to some men I thought would be right for me. However, what you don’t know about most of these dating sites is that many of them keep the profiles online long after the person has exited the dating process. So, you may send 10 letters and only one person may be currently, actively looking. Make sure you look at the last time that person you are interested in logged on. I saw a person on Match.com whom, I know, has been in a 3-year committed relationship and has moved to Atlanta, still in the actively-looking section of Nashville. The problems with dating sites part of the experience is not fun. But the more you put yourself out there, the more responses you will receive.
Be careful and ask a lot of questions of the people you talk to. Make sure the person is real and the person he/she claims to be. Ask for more pictures. Ask questions about life and past relationships as it becomes appropriate. This is called vetting a person. You want to be sure you’re on the same page before you waste time meeting for coffee, first. If a short date goes well, then take it to the next level for dinner. Make some Room in your Inn!
Look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!
Below is information that I will be sharing for about a month, as not every person on my list reads the blog every day. If you have already read it, just skip over it. Thanks for understanding.
A Year to CLEAR Challenge:
(Please Know: You Can Join Us At Any Point in the Year Challenge.)
The masses search outward for things that qualify them as a person, but I always go inward for that which quantifies me for greatness. At twenty-five I preached on street corners in NYC as an in-the-closet Pentecostal minister. One day I heard a still small voice say, ‘God cannot be contained in a book or a law or even in a religion. Dig deeper, reach further to find me, and you will find your authentic Self.’”
A Year to CLEAR Challenge!
The acronym CLEAR stands for (Compassionate, Loving, Enthusiastic, And Relationship-Ready). The goal of this project is to engulf readers in a weekly study that will transform them by removing blocks, promote self-growth, and give them wings to fly freely into daily life. Each week, by going to BoSebastian.com and choosing the Year to CLEAR Challenge tab, a new challenge or thought to provoke conversation, growth, and group functionality.
My vision is to make Finding Authentic You the book to have in your Kindle or on your computer. The book is a comprehensive look at growth—spiritually, mentally, and physically.
As a yoga teacher and student of the Ayurvedic tradition, I bring to the table understanding of physical challenges, the ability to overcome mental problems with Life & Health Coaching, as well as hypnotherapy, and expertise in meditation and spirituality as a minister.
The combination of all three in one book with an interactive connection to like-minded readers, for one year, is what makes this Year to CLEAR Challenge a must-do for every spiritual seeker.
The One-Year Approach to Change
No one believes he or she can change overnight. But success in change comes from the metaphors of nature. Seasonally, life changes all around us in nature. Finding Authentic You offers a gradual change perspective, looking at the triune aspects of change as in yoga: Body, Mind and Spirit.
Accessing the ability to change and finding yourself actually pursuing change must be a daily search, which I call getting to the “observer mind.”
In this frontal cortex of the brain we find the anatomy of change and the power to counter every negative trigger of the human process. The workings of Hypnosis, NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) are all positive actions to help the mind and body flow to a positive space for change.
Every aspect of FINDING AUTHENTIC YOU fulfills this constant need for diffusing the negative past and dreaming of a fulfilling future.
Step 1: Recognize That Change is Inevitable
Step 2: Release from Resistance to Change
Step 3: Understanding Change and Allow Spirit to Define It
Step 4: A History Lesson—About You
Step 5: Look at Your Past with Compassion
Step 6: Making a Strong Commitment to Change
Step 7: Dream Your Fabulous Future
Go to www.bosebastian.com for Week One to Four Challenges:
TOOLS FOR CHANGE:
Go to Storefront to buy any of the following or make a donation to Finding Authentic You: www.shop.bosebastian.com
• My Latest Book: Finding Authentic You—7 Steps to Effective Change (800 page downloadable Kindle version)
• Introduction to Meditation
• Smoke Cessation mp3
• Weight Loss mp3
• Hypnotic Lap Band surgery Mp3
• Insomnia mp3
• Eternal Om mp3
• Meditation Music mp3
• Guide to Meditation mp3
• Healing the Body mp3
• And my “Lessons from the Heart” book ready for your download purchase.
Go to Home Page: www.BoSebastian.com
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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. Please feel free to comment and/or sign up to receive your blog sent to you directly or stream with an RSS Feed.
I am trying to spread the word about my blog and I need your help. Please let your friends know it exists, if it gives you hope and blesses you each day. I would be greatly pleased for you to share anything that you read by clicking the share button in Facebook.com/bo.sebastian, or add it to your Twitter at BoSebastian; or LinkedIN at Bosebastian5@gmail.com; or find this blog home at www.FindingAuthenticYou.com. Any of my books can be found on Amazon or Barnes and Nobel, just by typing my name in the search header.
Also, look for MY LATEST BOOK: “Finding Authentic You, 7 Steps to Effective Change” with a Year to CLEAR (C-larity, L-ove, E-nthusiasm A-nd R-elationship-Ready) on my Website in the Webstore. Thanks!
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