No Subjective Contradiction

Wouldn’t life be wonderful if you could wake up with the feeling that nothing in your life is dependent upon your feelings or anyone else’s feelings, for that matter? Feelings are so ephemeral. They are fleeting and useless, especially if they are based on assumption.

Of the three areas of the brain, the most important hurdle to reach over is the deductive, reasoning mind. However, when it comes to leaping over feelings, the subjective mind can be crazy-hard to contradict.

If you experience a strong feeling of rejection concerning a problem you’re facing, it can be quite difficult to release from the feeling long enough to look at something with objection and reason. So, the first big hurdle is to sit with your feelings, but recognize that they are a human responses to a human paradigm.

Remember, we are spirits living in a human body. If you keep considering yourself a human with a spirit, you’ll never find the strength to make this leap. You’ll always be trapped in your story (refer to yesterday’s blog).

Self-Inquiry, a term used by writer Byron Katie, is a series of questions you ask yourself about what bothers you. The basic premise of self-inquiry is to discover if you have enough proof to make a case for your subjective feelings.

For instance, you have called your boss and asked her to return your call as soon as possible. You have a real problem that you need to discuss. You wait almost a week for a response. You have emailed her three times, called another two times, and to no avail. Your subjective, irrational thought: You decide you are probably going to get fired, because she hasn’t returned your call.

The first question in self-inquiry would be, “Is it true that your boss is going to fire you?”

You may answer yourself, “She hasn’t answered my phone calls. What else am I supposed to think?”

The next questions in self-inquiry: “Are you sure she has received your calls? Could she be out of town? Could her cell phone be broken? Is she in a place where there is no cell phone or computer reception?”

You then answer, “Well, no. I don’t know any of those answers for certain.”

Then the truth is you really don’t know how to react. You have no pertinent, strong information to base your presumption. Yet, all of your emotions begin to get in the way. How do you stop the barrage of hateful feelings?

That’s a great question. Subjective contradiction is probably the hardest paradigm to hurdle, because most of this kind of emotion is based on attachment theory. When PTSD or attachment issues arise with a problem, this supersedes your rational mind completely. The emotion bypasses your deductive mind and goes directly to reaction.

So, how are you supposed to change something you don’t see coming?

Much of the work I do in hypnosis now is based on attachment theory and changing neuro pathways to create positive response to old stimulus. I believe that the only way to circumvent the problem of subjective contradiction is to challenge it with rational, spiritual truth.

You have to feel your emotions then reach out of them. You may need a friend to help you get there, but you must get above the situation to become the objective observer. You may not be able to change your initial reaction, but I guarantee you that you won’t stay in the pain as long or belie your own truth.

The key to change is to base emotion on the firm foundation of truth.

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Bo Sebastian is a Hypnotherapist and Life & Health Coach, available for private sessions to QUIT SMOKING, Lose Weight, New Lap-Band Hypnosis for Weight Loss, CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR LIFE! at 615-400-2334 or www.bosebastian.com. FOR COMMENTS: Go to the Bo Sebastian link under the title and there is a place there to create a comment. Thanks.

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