Polishing the Silver—Surrogacy #anxiety #change #livingintheNOW

Every six months, my grandmother would take out a beautifully crafted, wooden box that contained her much prized silver. I actually don’t ever remember using it to eat, but I do recall helping her polish every last piece of a service for twelve and all of its accoutrements. The silver would be almost completely black by the time we opened the drawer. Each piece would take five to ten minutes to polish with a special solution she created with hot water, salt, and baking soda.

As we polished, we would talk about her good ole days. I loved my grandma so much, her smile, her touch, and especially her laugh. She always smelled of Jergens lotion and felt cushy to the touch. She put lotion on her hands a lot, but she would always put on enough to wrap her hands around my tiny ones and share. I always felt as if I was the only one who was important to her, though she had eighteen grandchildren.

The special love of someone loving and nurturing as a child is so important for anyone of us who was abused. Even still, we need this as adults, when we are triggered from something that brings up anxiousness or fear of losing love. I remember the huge heart that coddled me and protected me as much as she could from the pain of two parents who just couldn’t make it work and all of the effects of a dismantled childhood. But, sometimes memories are not enough. We need someone with whom to polish the silver.

Surrogacy is a great part of life. When you can’t get what you need from your family or the people closest to you, you must take the matters into your own hands and find someone who is willing to provide what you need in a surrogate way. For instance, a marriage lacks the camaraderie that keeps you fulfilled and having fun. So, you find a platonic friend who may be in the same situation and have fun with him or her. Or, you lack the love of a mother who passed away, whom you adored. So, you find a surrogate mother-type, older and loving, with whom you can secure a safe bond.

With many of my clients, a surrogate has been the perfect way to dissolve old, painful feelings from a parent who was in absentia their entire lives. And, let’s face it, without a few good friends to have fun with and share your woes, we would be lost and alone. Clubs, meet-ups, and coffee groups are the way to get out of yourself and meet new people to fill the empty spaces. Meetup.com is a perfect source to find clubs in your area. Take the steps to help yourself this week by researching ways to create the proper surrogacy in your life to maintain happiness and joy.

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What would you feel like if everyday you loved yourself a little more…

What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?

If you could imagine yourself so connected to God Source that everything you thought and every action you completed you trusted could heal yourself and, ultimately the world around you?

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If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and “being gay” defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/. 

Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.

Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]





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