Process Addiction/Behavior Addiction What’s the Difference? #processaddiction #addiction #SpiritualPrinciple #psychology #spirituality


Most people consider addictions as involving a chemical, such as drugs, alcohol, and cigarettes. However, process addiction is a compulsive behavior, such as sexual addiction or online gambling. This process usually begins by trying to satisfy a simple human desire such as loneliness.

When suddenly you get attention as a sexual human being, perhaps, your loneliness dissipates for a while. So, the compulsion begins by discovering that a certain behavior takes away your loneliness (for example).

The problem occurs when the loneliness comes back and the person involved is unable to face his or her human feelings, but is much more interested in covering up the feeling with the process. Eventually, this becomes a process addiction. This could be gambling, spending, a hobby, overworking, sex, or fantasy computer games. The difference is that process addiction does not necessarily involve an addictive chemical, but could possibly be both.

Any addiction becomes apparent when you realize that you are neglecting your own self, your health, your work, and even your family to maintain your activity. You find yourself hiding the process because you are afraid that someone will take the one thing away that gives you happiness and takes away the pain of loneliness.

This definition came up in one of my Spiritual Warriors meetings recently. The reason why I had not focused in on this particular disorder is because most of us (including me) have processes in our lives we often use to cover our boredom and loneliness. They may not be as severe as addictions, but they are indeed on the road to addiction, if overused.

Almost everyone, if you think about it, could be an addict if they overused a chemical like alcohol. But, most of us, know how to stop or realize when the behavior has become overwhelming. Then, we seek help. This is generalized healthy behavior. The distinction between what is compulsive and what is not is truly not up to the individual though. I am certain that there are many more addicts out there than anyone would like to admit. Simply because the addict has not hit rock bottom or has not gotten in trouble because of his or her addiction, does not mean that this person is not a compulsive or behavior addict.

A great many gay men in my age range (40-65) started out believing that we were different at a very young age. But, then, we were not only different, our sexual proclivity was considered wrong and bad. So, we had no one to talk to about our first crush or our first sexual experience. We had to hide our loneliness, and in turn, hide our sexual compulsions as well. All of this had led many gay people to process abuse and often substance abuse, as well.

My goal in writing about this is to simply begin a conversation about how “NOT OBSERVING YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR” can result in denying addictions, specifically process addictions.

For example, it is far too easy for any person, specifically men, to feel lonely and pay for someone to touch, comfort, and have sex with them. Many places exist that are specifically designed for men who want the occasional sexual tryst outside of commitment or marriage. These places for straight men are called massage parlors, and for gay men are called bathhouses.

I do not stand in judgment of any behavior or action someone does to keep them from feeling pain. However, eventually, one has to see that the story does not end at the sexual experience. Soon, the loneliness will become overbearing, and no amount of sex or shopping or gambling will be enough. Then, what happens?

Eventually, that person will have to look at him- or herself and feel the pain of whatever is going on inside of his or her minds and bodies. Then, if possible, reach out for some help.

If you are no privy to places that can help addiction, simply go online and look up your particular process addiction and type in the name of your city. You will find a bevy of groups that can help you sort out and direct you to the help that you may need.

Continue looking for more information on this as this is the first of a series of blogs about addiction. We will also look at how spirituality is the leading help for any addiction.


This year, if you desire to commit to a change for a New Year’s Resolution, do it with your MIND first. Remember, as in the title of my cover pdf2new book coming out just in time to help you with this (in January)… lol… that all change happens in your mind, first. You must change your Old Story, to make a consistent and long lasting change in Your Life.

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What would you be if you loved and gave compassion unconditionally… to yourself first and then to others?cropped-cropped-6009Color1001.jpg

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Bo works with people on SKYPE and FaceTime all over the world. He is taking new clients now. Call 954-253-6493 for information.

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Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]






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