Prospects and Expectation #TheNOW #expectation #relationshipadvice #EckhartTolle
March 6, 2015
I rarely am wowed by anyone or anything these days. I’m simply a little jaded by life. When you’ve lived life as hard as I have, nothing stuns you. However, every once in a while, you get the temptation to hope that you’ll be simply bowled over and amazed at someone or something new and intriguing. That happened for me a few days ago.
If you don’t know, at this point in my writing, I’m a single, gay man in the middle of gay Mecca. I think, per capita, more gay men live in Southern Florida than San Francisco, right now. And if they don’t live here, they vacation here or have winter homes here. As I figured, from the time I arrived, there would be dating prospects galore. But, finding that one person who relates to me in many important ways, who doesn’t have to be vetted by the FBI, and is drug and disease free has been quite the challenge.
My friends here all tell me that I should let down my guard and have fun. “Don’t worry about finding a relationship!” they say. “It will find you. Just go out to bars and meet people. Have sex when you want. And you’ll love it, just like we do. Trust us. You will!”
After much deliberation, I simply think I’m just not cut out for bars and casual anything. I’m a serial monogamist who likes to cuddle and enjoys praying with my partner. Be that as it may, finding that one gay man who is all that and interesting and kissable (and available emotionally and completely out of a marriage—yes, that means moved out from his partner!) is an anomaly to say the least.
Since I don’t go out to bars, unless with friends for food or 1-2 drinks, I have only looked for dates on Match.com and OkCupid.com, which are dating sites that pander to people who are relationship oriented. When someone is interested in me from the sites, I read his profile from top to bottom (no pun there) and decide if he’s worth my time and effort. Most times, after a few emails, a couple of phone conversations, and now FaceTime, I can get a really good idea of who the person is without even meeting. This takes much of the risk away. So, I’ve been used to going into these coffee dates with my eyes wide open.
What happens, though, if I meet someone—not on the Internet—who really intrigues me? All of a sudden, I act like I’m fifteen again. My heart starts thumping, my palms sweat like I’m writing a love letter, and the worst thing—I expect way too much! Expectation will pull anybody down every time. Every meeting with anyone has pertinence. Trying to create the reason why two people’s path intersect is simply not the emotion to give, even if he/she is stunningly handsome or gorgeous. Expectation draws your attention away from the NOW and keeps you hungering for what you concocted in your mind about the situation.
This scenario could be true for just about any situation—work, friendships, and vacations. So, in short, don’t waste your time trying to decide why Spirit has allowed you to meet someone new or try something different. Simply be open and vulnerable to whatever comes and give it your undivided attention. You may be the person that helps someone, has compassion when it’s needed most, or teaches a lesson to someone who never expected his teacher!
A Cookbook, a Novel, a Self-Help Book, a Yoga DVD! All great gifts from your friend—Bo Sebastian. Simply go to this link at www.Amazon.com or type in my name. Find great gifts for yourself, family members, and friends by supporting another friend in the process! Thank you.
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If you are a gay man or woman, you may want to direct your gaze to my newest blog: Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. This blog is an extension of my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/UncommonGaySpiritualWarrior/) and group meetings about the rare combination of spirituality and “being gay” defines the most important part of us, even in relationship. Join me at: http://uncommongayspiritualwarrior.blogspot.com/.
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Take the time to look at Bo’s bookshelf of self-help books, novels, healing downloads, and yoga DVD. All of Bo’s books help people such as you, make SIGNIFICANT CHANGE with habits, find your SOULMATE, your PASSION, reach YOUR DREAMS, and dictate your own FUTURE.
Chosen to show his new hypnotherapeutic techniques on The Learning Channel (TLC) and also given the opportunity to teach at the world conference for Learning, and received the award of excellence for Helping Overcome Obesity in Nashville, Bo Sebastian is the writer and director of Finding Authentic You and Uncommon Gay Spiritual Warrior. Go directly to Amazon/Amazon Kindle to buy any of his wonderfully inspired books: ]