Revisiting the Old ‘Hood
June 30, 2017
Three years ago my life in Nashville, Tennessee was rife with flower gardens, koi ponds, and a lush home with beauty all around me. Included in that was the most important factor—a lot of amazing friends. I always felt blessed to be in Nashvegas. When I moved to Florida to help my mother manage her health, leaving my home for 28 years was tough.
I sent Mom and my dear dog, Coco, down to Florida 4 months before me, so that I would have time to get the house in order to sell. During the time I spent by myself, I committed to placing commas (breaths) and some periods (full stops) on parts of my life. The commas felt as if I was taking a deep breath and waiting to exhale for an undesignated time in the future.
The culmination of this exhale started with my honeymoon trip to the beautiful mountains in Tennessee, flying into Nashville. The trip to our destination happened to pass the home which I had owned for 8-9 years. To my astonishment, every garden was gone—256 different kinds of flowers and bushes decimated. In the place of the gardens was grass, gravel, and dirt. A dear friend who helped me in the garden, my husband, and I were simply stunned. Someone had taken all of the beauty I had built and bulldozed it.
In that moment—still holding my breath—I realized that no one can capture and hold on to anything in life. All of our human existence is ephemeral and is passing—even our relationships will all eventually end in one physical way or another.
My big exhale came the next evening as I had some of my closest pals converge to say hello after 3 years. I couldn’t spend much time with any of them, but I did spend enough time for a hug, a selfy, and to catch up with their lives.
At the end of the evening, though, as everyone left, I realized:
- Those who love us will continue loving us no matter where we go or how long we stay away;
- Those who need us to be physically next to them for support will simply continue missing us until they find another source of support; and
- Those kinds of co-dependencies need to culminate in the long run, anyway, because the only truth in any relationship happens apart from dependency.
Lives have reasons, and each life intersecting it has a reason.
You can consider the circumstances of this intersection as a place to grow or you can ignore the synchronicity. In my case, I had one particular friend with whom I absolutely needed to see for spiritual reasons. After our talk, I knew this with certainty. However, as I drove to my honeymoon destination I passed through a town bearing the name of this particular friend. When a synchronistic moment like this happens, how can you ignore it?
Ah, life. You can love it or hate it. But, it will always gently lead you in the direction you are meant to go.
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